From a very early age I enjoyed music. From baroque to modern, I adored it all although I couldn't get my head around most opera(I can't imagine that a lot of children can). I would often go down to the local library on my own and pull out books on music to hold and marvel at the sight of all the notes dotted around on the pages. I didn't understand them, but they looked and felt good! A librarian came up to me once and asked me what I was doing in the adult section. I said that I was waiting for my mother and skipped off to the children's section(I was 10 years old). I carried on like this for some time!
My mother once asked me, "Why are you listening to that sort of music? You know that it's for rich people don't you? What's the matter with The Bay City Rollers?" The Bay City Rollers? Ahhhhh!
My friends would never of understood so I kept my passion for music a secret!
At school we had a music master that was so layed back and easy, the whole class would mess around freely and he would often just sit at his desk doing nothing. I was so frustrated with this man. I screamed inside for him to take control, but he never did! I was so desperate to learn and couldn't tell anyone for fear of ridicule.
I eventually decided to teach myself and through the years I got better and better and picked up assignment sheets in music classes(secretly). The music teacher must have known my predicament and would stop me in the school halls to chat about it. At first he thought I was trying to fool him and asked me where I had taken my answers and composition from. He eventually came to believe me and once, as I was going off to lunch and passing the music room, I heard him play a melody of mine on the piano. I bent down quickly, pretending to tie my shoelace and, as I listened, I began to cry! I had only heard my music in my head before! "My god what was happening to me?"
I continued to excel through the years and was able to take my A-levels at a really young age. I then went on to university where my strong and outspoken views went down like a lead balloon to most(Damned conformists!)
To date, I have now written 86 full Symphonies, several Operas and Operettas and many more compositions as well.
I continue to compose in my head and this is why it doesn't take me long to write them down, they are already finished you see! I can see the full orchestra as if they are really there but all faces are blank(no face at all). The performances we perform together are so magical. If I never know any such thing in reality, then at least I can die smiling, knowing that I have experienced it in my head, a reality in my world!
I see the music, I feel the music, I am the music!
There is always a balance in my life though!
The downside is my self loathing, a state of mind that is so difficult to shake loose!
Some days I could just.....
Music is a composite of the conscious, the sub-conscious and luck!
Christopher P Sly