Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, July 28 2010 @ 06:20 PM CDT

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, July 28 2010 @ 06:20 PM CDT

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, July 28 2010 @ 06:25 PM CDT

I just saw a freak bus accident today. Three freaks got hit by a bus.

(have I used this one before?)

Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, July 28 2010 @ 06:30 PM CDT

Quote by: crissew When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

sad to say, some people believe this joke is for real

Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, July 28 2010 @ 06:32 PM CDT

Quote by: crissew TEXAN: "Where are you from?" HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions." TEXAN: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"

made me laugh

Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, July 28 2010 @ 06:42 PM CDT

Warning: crude alert! ABORT ABORT


"Doctor, won't you please kiss me?" asks the patient.
"No. You're a very beautiful woman, but it's against my code of ethics," replies the doctor.
"Please, just one kiss," she pleads.
"Sorry," says the doctor. "It's totally out of the question. I shouldn't even be fucking you."

Re:Joke of the Day!
Thursday, July 29 2010 @ 03:13 AM CDT

Two iPhone 4's got married, it was a lovely ceremony but the reception was awful. Apparently they held it in the wrong place……

Re:Joke of the Day!
Thursday, July 29 2010 @ 04:24 AM CDT

Tiger Woods drives into a petrol station, while the attendant approaches him, he gets out of his Volvo, but leaning over, two tees fall on the ground out of his pocket.

The attendant, curious, asks "hey what are those" ?

Tiger Woods replies "they are called tees".

"And what are they for ?"

"For resting my balls when I'm driving".

"Jeez" says the attendant, "those Volvo guys think about everything" ...

Re:Joke of the Day!
Thursday, July 29 2010 @ 05:58 AM CDT

Another "professional" joke,

A man on a balloon calls another one standing on the hill.

"Excuse me sir, could you please tell me where I am ? I'm completely lost and I promised my friends to meet them in a few minutes, I won't be able to make it".

"Well, it's easy" says the other on the hill. "You are in a balloon, floating over about 10 meters high.

"You must be an analyst" says the man in the balloon.

"How could you figure that out ?"

"Well, you give me some information, certainly correct, but none of it I ignored, and they are useless and don't get me anywhere."

"You must be a manager" says the man on the hill, "and it's easy to see, you are completely lost, you don't have any idea where you're heading, plus you make promises you are unable to keep, then you come and ask me for help and when I provide you help you are unhappy and it all ends up becoming my fault."

* Post Removed *
Thursday, July 29 2010 @ 10:48 AM CDT

* This message has been removed *