Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, August 02 2011 @ 08:57 PM CDT

Quote by: Char ... It has been determined that saliva causes cancer, but only if taken in small amounts over a long period of time.

i could just spit!

Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, August 02 2011 @ 11:20 PM CDT

Quote by: SmokeyVW a cow and a chicken break out of jail. they soon get to a road that runs right along the state line. it's the only thing between them and freedom. the chicken says to the cow, "go ahead and cross it, you'll be home free." the cow starts walking, but the chicken just stands there. the cow says, "hey! come on, let's go!" but the chicken says, "i can't go this way. if i cross the road, it'll raise too many questions."

priceless - and very Smokey.

Re:Joke of the Day!
Thursday, August 04 2011 @ 03:57 AM CDT

Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me... luckily, I only suffered superfishoil injuries.

(and one for UK residents):
Jimmy Saville walks into a faulty time machine....
"now...then...now...then..."

Re:Joke of the Day!
Thursday, August 11 2011 @ 02:43 PM CDT

A guy walks into a bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one.

He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the bar and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in - just don't start anything."

Re:Joke of the Day!
Thursday, August 11 2011 @ 02:43 PM CDT

20 lemmings walk into a bar. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, August 16 2011 @ 08:00 PM CDT

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again." she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size!!!!!!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.

from http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=33

Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, August 16 2011 @ 08:13 PM CDT

A chess team is standing in the lobby of the hotel where they're staying, talking it up about the tournament they'd won that day. Manager comes up and says: "Everybody out. Just get out of here!" After the team leaves, a guest goes up and asks the manager why he booted the team? The manager replied: "I just can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, August 16 2011 @ 08:13 PM CDT

A nihilist walks into a bar.

So what?

* Post Removed *
Wednesday, August 17 2011 @ 06:10 AM CDT

* This message has been removed *

Re:Joke of the Day!
Thursday, August 18 2011 @ 03:21 PM CDT

Quote by: -Harold- ...

but... it WAS funny