Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, March 15 2011 @ 02:26 PM CDT

Old MacDonald walks into a bar with a duck under his arm.

Bartender says, "What'll it be, Mac?

MacDonald says, "a trout."

Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, March 15 2011 @ 05:52 PM CDT

My mother was an unusually feisty woman. She buried three husbands. And two of them were only napping!

Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, March 15 2011 @ 07:03 PM CDT

Quote by: composerclark Old MacDonald walks into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "What'll it be, Mac? MacDonald says, "a trout."

A duck walks into a bar and says "Hey bartender, got any crackers?" The bartender replies, "No, you stupid duck. Get out of here!"

The next day the duck returns and asks, "Hey bartender, got any crackers?" The bartender angrily responds, "No. I told you yesterday we don't have crackers! Get out of here you stupid duck!"

On the third day the duck comes back again and asks the same question. The bartender says, "No you stupid duck, come in here asking that again and I will nail your beak to the bar!"

The next day the duck comes back and asks, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender is confused and furious. "No I don't have any nails!" "Then, do you have any crackers?" the duck responds.

Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, March 16 2011 @ 12:52 PM CDT

A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"

Re:Joke of the Day!
Friday, March 18 2011 @ 01:34 PM CDT

no idea of the origins of this little tale...


C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry,
but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G
have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the
fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries
to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me.
I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender
is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the
bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found
in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with
nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking
sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major
development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit
and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's
under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of
contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced
to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional
facility.

Re:Joke of the Day!
Friday, March 18 2011 @ 04:10 PM CDT

Skeleton walks into a pub, barman says "what can I get you sir?" Skelton replies "I'll have a pint of beer and a mop"

Re:Joke of the Day!
Friday, March 18 2011 @ 05:02 PM CDT

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....
" A claim was made that the people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but ...we have heard that the people in Abu Dhabi do"

Re:Joke of the Day!
Friday, March 18 2011 @ 05:46 PM CDT

Quote by: neilh79 Skeleton walks into a pub, barman says "what can I get you sir?" Skelton replies "I'll have a pint of beer and a mop"

Re:Joke of the Day!
Saturday, March 19 2011 @ 07:29 AM CDT

This might help with timing issues:


Something our lyricists should bear in mind:

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Saturday, March 19 2011 @ 03:19 PM CDT

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