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Sunday, February 20 2011 @ 08:56 PM CST

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Re:Joke of the Day!
Monday, February 21 2011 @ 12:06 PM CST

Snow white and the woodcutter were walking into the forest.

"I'm scared" she said.

"You're scared?" said the woodcutter, "I've got to come back by myself"

Re:Joke of the Day!
Monday, February 21 2011 @ 12:07 PM CST

Two old boys sitting in high backed chairs in a nursing home.

One says to the other "Just think, if we hadn't given up cigarettes and beer we'd have missed all this"

Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, February 22 2011 @ 07:33 PM CST

Saint Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.

The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."

St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"

The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."

"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"

The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."

"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?"

---

from http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes

Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, February 23 2011 @ 02:11 AM CST

Quote by: SmokeyVW Saint Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter. The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations." St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!" The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children." "Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?" The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime." "Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?" from http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes

In the REAL version (i.e., the one I heard first), the first two guys don't get in, despite their dazzling achievements in the material world.

Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, February 23 2011 @ 07:07 AM CST

Quote by: BigSkyRumble Quote by: SmokeyVW Saint Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter. The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations." St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!" The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children." "Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?" The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime." "Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?" from http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes In the REAL version (i.e., the one I heard first), the first two guys don't get in, despite their dazzling achievements in the material world.

yes, that would make more sense from a moral perspective

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Wednesday, February 23 2011 @ 07:36 AM CST

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Re:Joke of the Day!
Wednesday, February 23 2011 @ 05:42 PM CST

Quote by: -Harold- ? Now that was funny!

i've heard it said that money is the root of all evil

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Thursday, February 24 2011 @ 07:46 AM CST

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Re:Joke of the Day!
Tuesday, March 08 2011 @ 04:28 PM CST

Q: What do you get when you play progressive rock backwards?

A: Frodo loses the ring, the kids come back from Narnia, and the dragon forgets how to fly.