Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 10:39 AM CDT

Stages of Project Management-

1. Wild enthusiasm
2. Dissillusionment
3. Confusion
4. Panic
5. Search for the guilty
6. Punishment of the innocent
7. Reward the non-participants
--------
This has nothing to do with Macjams. Just a rant on the corporate world

Re:Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 10:39 AM CDT

i was wondering who took that list!

Re:Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 10:40 AM CDT

8. Go into hiding.

Re:Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 10:44 AM CDT

9. Re-hire the now-laid-off engineers as consultants at 3x salary to try to finish the job.
10. Send lawyers after the laid-off engineers who are starting their own company to do what they weren't allowed to do by the original company.
11. Give up on the lawyers, and just buy the startup company and lay off the engineers again.

Re:Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 11:11 AM CDT

Quote by: ic42 9. Re-hire the now-laid-off engineers as consultants at 3x salary to try to finish the job. 10. Send lawyers after the laid-off engineers who are starting their own company to do what they weren't allowed to do by the original company. 11. Give up on the lawyers, and just buy the startup company and lay off the engineers again.

12. Make the 3x salary consultants train their H1-B replacements who'll supposedly do the job for 1/2 the original salary.

13. Go to step 1

Re:Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 11:13 AM CDT

Quote by: dave_b Quote by: ic42 9. Re-hire the now-laid-off engineers as consultants at 3x salary to try to finish the job. 10. Send lawyers after the laid-off engineers who are starting their own company to do what they weren't allowed to do by the original company. 11. Give up on the lawyers, and just buy the startup company and lay off the engineers again. 12. Make the 3x salary consultants train their H1-B replacements who'll supposedly do the job for 1/2 the original salary. 13. Go to step 1

14.

Re:Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 11:18 AM CDT

The CEO at the company I used to work at had the habit of adding a standard item :

* Fun

For nearly a decade I wondered where the fun part was ... I think that he was the only one having fun ...

All those (now 11) points are so true ! I'd also add

12 - Hire a process improvement expert. Analysis of what went wrong and development of a "new" and "improved" process to fix everything.
13 - Relaunch the project.
14 - Execute points 1-11
15 - Analysis of the improvement metrics. It's worse than the first run, but tweak them in a way to justify the point 12.
16 - Pay the bill and politely thank the expert hired on point 12. Somebody has a better idea.

etc ...


EDIT : This was written in parallel with dave_b's :-)

Re:Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 02:33 PM CDT

At Evil Genius Tower, we use fear and intimidation. Times are tough you know?

Re:Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 03:40 PM CDT

Quote by: Symphony101 The CEO at the company I used to work at had the habit of adding a standard item : * Fun For nearly a decade I wondered where the fun part was ... I think that he was the only one having fun ...

FUN is rarely dissected, because nobody wants to know what a CEO thinks is "fun"... but it usually is an acronym for:
F.ear
U.ncertainty
N.arcissism

Re:Project Management
Friday, June 24 2011 @ 03:49 PM CDT

When I worked as a store manager for a consumer electronics company [shudder] the CEO would send out memos to all the store staff. As an afterthought he wrote in 'Pet Peeve #1' and talked about dust on the televisions or something like that. Next memo, Pet Peeve #2... and so it went until it reached 196. So all of his pet peeves became policy.... yuck. It was then that I realized that it takes real authority to reveal just how stupid one can be.