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Love In a Petri Dish


by

Joanna

 Genre: Jazz (vocal)

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Description
This is a love story between a bacteria and a virus.

Okay, I know this is a crazy concept for a song, but what's the point of having GarageBand if you can't sing about whatever silly thing pops into your head? So with no further adieu, I give you "Love In a Petri Dish".
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Lyrics
I'm livin' alone in a Petri dish
Swimming all around like a lonely fish
Will anybody hear me if I yell?
It's sucks to be a single cell

Along came a germ I didn't know
A spiny, handsome Romeo
"I'm deadly, new, and very bold"
I thought, "This guy's no common cold"

Falling in love in a Petri dish
Starting new diseases is my fondest wish
With his lethal genes and my clever way
We could swap some deadly, deadly, deadly DNA, DNA

"A little meiosis might be fun"
How brash of me! Was he the one?
He can't divide without my aid
And loneliness began to fade

"Baby, I would love to mate
A viral and bacterial date
Imagine what our union'd cause
Germ warfare without curable flaws"

Falling in love in a Petri dish
Starting new diseases is my fondest wish
With his lethal genes and my clever way
We could swap some deadly, deadly, deadly DNA

He thrust his spiny self in me
I closed around him lovingly
He came alive in my nucleoid
Like Mary and her typhoid

We intertwined our genes, oh my!
Watch out world, you're gonna die
Suddenly I yelled "Abort!
He was just a common wart!

Falling in love in a Petri dish
Starting new diseases was my fondest wish
But no one will ever be harmed this way
We just swapped some lame-o, lame-o, lame-o DNA, DNA
Song Stats
Hits: 5801
Comments: 35
Fans: 4
Plays: 619
Downloads: 171
Votes: 27
Uploaded: May 15, 2005 - 04:36:15 PM
Last Updated: Nov 15, 2005 - 11:15:18 PM Last Played: Mar 17, 2017 - 10:44:45 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
eMac, Shure SM58, and a bamboo flute I bought on ebay for 1ยข. Yes, I actually played an instrument -- startling, isn't it?
Software:
GB2
Comments
fairy beth said 4393 days ago (May 15th, 2005)
hehe
unusual...but very cool. clever lyrics...u have a nice smoky
voice joanna.
Check out my latest song called Message No.1 - David Gwynne
Joanna said 4392 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
hehe
Thanks, FB! Unusual is an apt descriptor. ha!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
alley-oop said 4393 days ago (May 15th, 2005)
This is a gas!
Cool, cool tune. You're inspiring me! I like the 1 cent flute,
nice chops on that thang! Great lyrics. As usual, great
vocals
Check out my latest song called rain
Joanna said 4392 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
This is a gas!
Thanks, alley, I'm honored! I see you have a new song up. I'm going to go
listen to it when I finish here.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Emily Rohm said 4393 days ago (May 16th, 2005)
Creative!
Jazz and science. A couple of my favorite things. Never
really thought there could be a song that used both, but
hey, thanks! Your voice is so super cool.
Check out my latest song called Monica's Waltz
Joanna said 4392 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
Creative!
Thank you, Emily! As you can tell, I, too, am a fan of jazz and science. I did
have to do a little research, though. I didn't want to say mitosis when I meant
meiosis, after all. I also found out some fascinating things about bacteria and
viruses. The things you learn when you're researching a goofy song idea,
huh?
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Rebsie said 4393 days ago (May 16th, 2005)
Bacterium vibes
Ah, I have a lovely mental image of bacteria grooving
about to this in their silver sparkly costumes ... er ...
or something like that.

Original and groovy. I really like it.

That bamboo flute was a great investment, Joanna! I
hope you'll find many more uses for it. It goes so well
with the bass arrangement you've used here.
Check out my latest song called Amongst The Colours (w/ Luna Trick)
Joanna said 4392 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
Bacterium vibes
Thank you, Rebsie! I love my little bamboo flute. I was surprised at how good
it sounded in playback. Here's today's fun fact: bamboo is not wood, it's a
type of grass, which is why it is hollow and is made of fibers. Just in case you
feel like playing a grass instrument some day!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
mandolinquent said 4393 days ago (May 16th, 2005)
Swinging blue genes...
Love the bamboo flute. Are you sure it's not another of
your vocal impressions? And your impression of a male
virus is amazing. You are a jill of all trades. Much fun.
Check out my latest song called Fair Jenny's Jig and Matthew Briggs
Joanna said 4392 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
Swinging blue genes...
Thank you, Mando! And yes, ahem, I have it on good authority that that's
exactly what male viruses sound like. Yup.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
ThatNation said 4392 days ago (May 16th, 2005)
very very creative
Awesome how you could think of this. You have a very good imagination. The lyrics are great and everything else comes together well. Good Job ,Joanna.
Check out my latest song called Performance Anxiety
Joanna said 4392 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
very very creative
Thank you, TN! I can't actually explain where the idea came from. It just
popped into my head and wouldn't leave until I wrote the song.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
bronco said 4392 days ago (May 16th, 2005)
Loved it
Your writing talent for the whimiscal and unusual swims
to the top of the dish once again. I feel like I could send
you any kind of weird title for a song and you could write
it. Since I love categories, we will create a new one for this
and call it Sci-Hi-Fi. And of course, as in most humorous
songs, there is that touch of fear at the very back that
makes us glad we can make fun of it. Keep on please.
Great song.
Check out my latest song called Along The Way
Joanna said 4392 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
Loved it
Thank you, Bronco! Love the new category. And I'm up to the weird title
challenge. Writing lyrics is my favorite part, and weird lyrics are even more
fun!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
_nderscore said 4392 days ago (May 16th, 2005)
she used lysol-flavored mace?
who would have known that bacteria were sooooo picky, &
just how do you come up with this stuff, joanna? hmmm..
that wasn't a USED flute you bought on ebay was it?
Check out my latest song called glyd
Joanna said 4392 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
she used lysol-flavored mace?
Thank you, _nder! Geez, I sure hope it wasn't a used flute... oh, well, too late
now. I've been germing it up since I got it.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
said 4392 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
LOL
I was thinking these lyrics could apply to many human
affairs.
Excellent lyrics and performance, Joanna.
PS. Are you going to include a bonus cd of songs with
your novel? You could sing from the POV of the
characters. :)
Joanna said 4391 days ago (May 18th, 2005)
LOL
Thank you, Mungo! Hmm... a bonus CD with every novel? Well, that's one way
to give a publisher a heart attack. I'll think about it!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Tom Atwood said 4391 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
David Amram? Peggy Lee? Joanna!
For some reason, listening to this, I picture Peggy Lee in a
white jacket and black hornrim glasses singing in a 60s
lab setting. Bubbling test tubes, Bunson burners, petrie
dishes...

If you can ever find an old David Amram album, look for a
piece called "East or West," it features a penny whistle very
similar to yours. Another tune from the 60s.

You're too cool.
Check out my latest song called Vanishing Pezzicato
Joanna said 4391 days ago (May 18th, 2005)
David Amram? Peggy Lee? Joanna!
Thank you, Tom! That Peggy Lee image is perfect. Like on one of those 60's
variety shows. I checked on iTunes for Amram and found some of his songs,
but not that one. I listened to a few and heard what I'm pretty sure is an
ocarina. Since I'm trying to learn how to play one, I found it very interesting -
thanks!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Mystified said 4390 days ago (May 18th, 2005)
Great originality in this!
Joanna, you never cease to amaze (and amuse) me. This is
not only inventive, clever, entertaining and fun, it's very
well done!!

Your voice is particularly good in this. I like how you
change the color in a couple parts to affect another 'voice.'
Just great, inventive fun. :)
Check out my latest song called Child of Yesterday
Joanna said 4389 days ago (May 20th, 2005)
Great originality in this!
Thank you, Mystie! Singing as a male virus has always been a dream of
mine... oh wait, no it hasn't. But when the opportunity arises, I simply must
go for those low notes.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
rovert10 said 4390 days ago (May 18th, 2005)
Very funny...
...and clever. Strange to hear you're voice pitch shifted... very
bizarre. Typically beautifully assembled. Singing A-grade as
always. Will send a copy to a genetics research friend... he'll
dig it. 8's DL
Check out my latest song called Gears
Joanna said 4389 days ago (May 20th, 2005)
Very funny...
Thank you, Rovert! And thank you for passing it on to your geneticist friend. I
hope he gets a kick out of it. As for pitch shifting -- I hadn't thought of it like
that, but yeah, had to give it a shot.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
thetiler said 4389 days ago (May 20th, 2005)
:) -
You are sure a good writer, with a lot of humor talent.

When you say you are a writer, it really shows here.

Good going.



Check out my latest song called They Went Underground
Joanna said 4389 days ago (May 20th, 2005)
:) -
Thank you, Tiler -- that means a lot to me. Writing lyrics is my favorite part
of songwriting.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Warren Smith said 4382 days ago (May 26th, 2005)
love where you find it
Love - and music - is where you find it. When an idea this unconventional comes along, I think you just have to go with it, because it's unusual, it's a challenge, and it's fun. Great job of storytelling and singing!
Check out my latest song called Brand New Day
Joanna said 4382 days ago (May 26th, 2005)
love where you find it
Thank you, Warren! I knew it was a wacky idea, and that alone made it
something I had to write. Just blame my sense of humor.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Shimky said 4382 days ago (May 26th, 2005)
Ha!
Very clever! Great fun!!

"What's the point of having GarageBand if you can't ..."

SO TRUE!!

I think if you added an additional instrument in the
chorus, it would break up the song nicely.
Check out my latest song called "The Sound Of The Crowd" Loop
Joanna said 4379 days ago (May 29th, 2005)
Ha!
Thank you, Shimky! This is a very spare arrangement, just bass, percussion,
and my little bamboo flute. I kept it that way to try to draw the listener into
paying attention to the lyrics. I do understand why you might want a little
pizazz in the musical bed, though.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Macaudion said 4377 days ago (May 31st, 2005)
Amazed
I'm so honored to have rubbed elbows w/ you today J.
This tune is just an outstanding piece. Very intelligent
work! Clever. Beautiful voice, very warm and personable is
what comes to mind. I'm also diggin the instrumental
arrangement, very tasteful. Congradulations on this. You
must be proud of it. Thanks for sharing. Cydniko
Check out my latest song called Pavel
Joanna said 4377 days ago (June 1st, 2005)
Amazed
Thank you, Cyd, what a lovely thing to say. I really appreciate you giving it a
listen.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
ludar said 4372 days ago (June 5th, 2005)
nice!!!!
Quite-interesting-needs-touching-up-though
Check out my latest song called what a load of George Bush
Joanna said 4363 days ago (June 15th, 2005)
nice!!!!
Thank you, ludar. I'm not sure what to touch up, though.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Mr. A said 4091 days ago (March 13th, 2006)
Oh yeah!
Great fun to listen to, endlessly clever lyrics, neat to hear the "steamy
lab technician" voice shining through. Good use of the rhythm section
loops too, keeps things going at a steady pace. Way to go!
Check out my latest song called baby steps
Artist Info
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Location: USA
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Hi, I'm Joanna (not Jo, that's someone else). Garageband has allowed me to indulge my love for singing beyond concerts in the shower. My favorite part of songwriting is writing the lyrics. This makes sense, of course, because writing is what I d... [see more]

Check out some of my other songs:

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