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Description:
This is a love story between a bacteria and a virus.
Okay, I know this is a crazy concept for a song, but what's the point of having GarageBand if you can't sing about whatever silly thing pops into your head? So with no further adieu, I give you "Love In a Petri Dish".
Lyrics:
I'm livin' alone in a Petri dish
Swimming all around like a lonely fish
Will anybody hear me if I yell?
It's sucks to be a single cell
Along came a germ I didn't know
A spiny, handsome Romeo
"I'm deadly, new, and very bold"
I thought, "This guy's no common cold"
Falling in love in a Petri dish
Starting new diseases is my fondest wish
With his lethal genes and my clever way
We could swap some deadly, deadly, deadly DNA, DNA
"A little meiosis might be fun"
How brash of me! Was he the one?
He can't divide without my aid
And loneliness began to fade
"Baby, I would love to mate
A viral and bacterial date
Imagine what our union'd cause
Germ warfare without curable flaws"
Falling in love in a Petri dish
Starting new diseases is my fondest wish
With his lethal genes and my clever way
We could swap some deadly, deadly, deadly DNA
He thrust his spiny self in me
I closed around him lovingly
He came alive in my nucleoid
Like Mary and her typhoid
We intertwined our genes, oh my!
Watch out world, you're gonna die
Suddenly I yelled "Abort!
He was just a common wart!
Falling in love in a Petri dish
Starting new diseases was my fondest wish
But no one will ever be harmed this way
We just swapped some lame-o, lame-o, lame-o DNA, DNA
Hardware:
eMac, Shure SM58, and a bamboo flute I bought on ebay for 1¢. Yes, I actually played an instrument -- startling, isn't it?
Software:
GB2
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hehe &mdash 05/15/05 - 05:50:32 PM
unusual...but very cool. clever lyrics...u have a nice smoky
voice joanna. [ Reply to This ]
hehe &mdash 05/17/05 - 12:10:18 AM
This is a gas! &mdash 05/15/05 - 08:33:06 PM
Cool, cool tune. You're inspiring me! I like the 1 cent flute,
nice chops on that thang! Great lyrics. As usual, great
vocals [ Reply to This ]
This is a gas! &mdash 05/17/05 - 12:14:32 AM
Thanks, alley, I'm honored! I see you have a new song up. I'm going to go
listen to it when I finish here. [ Reply to This ]
Creative! &mdash 05/16/05 - 12:41:05 AM
Jazz and science. A couple of my favorite things. Never
really thought there could be a song that used both, but
hey, thanks! Your voice is so super cool. [ Reply to This ]
Creative! &mdash 05/17/05 - 12:19:19 AM
Thank you, Emily! As you can tell, I, too, am a fan of jazz and science. I did
have to do a little research, though. I didn't want to say mitosis when I meant
meiosis, after all. I also found out some fascinating things about bacteria and
viruses. The things you learn when you're researching a goofy song idea,
huh? [ Reply to This ]
Bacterium vibes &mdash 05/16/05 - 02:46:58 AM
Ah, I have a lovely mental image of bacteria grooving
about to this in their silver sparkly costumes ... er ...
or something like that.
Original and groovy. I really like it.
That bamboo flute was a great investment, Joanna! I
hope you'll find many more uses for it. It goes so well
with the bass arrangement you've used here. [ Reply to This ]
Bacterium vibes &mdash 05/17/05 - 12:24:43 AM
Thank you, Rebsie! I love my little bamboo flute. I was surprised at how good
it sounded in playback. Here's today's fun fact: bamboo is not wood, it's a
type of grass, which is why it is hollow and is made of fibers. Just in case you
feel like playing a grass instrument some day! [ Reply to This ]
Swinging blue genes... &mdash 05/16/05 - 04:19:27 AM
Love the bamboo flute. Are you sure it's not another of
your vocal impressions? And your impression of a male
virus is amazing. You are a jill of all trades. Much fun. [ Reply to This ]
Swinging blue genes... &mdash 05/17/05 - 12:26:38 AM
Thank you, Mando! And yes, ahem, I have it on good authority that that's
exactly what male viruses sound like. Yup. [ Reply to This ]
very very creative &mdash 05/16/05 - 07:38:48 AM
Awesome how you could think of this. You have a very good imagination. The lyrics are great and everything else comes together well. Good Job ,Joanna. [ Reply to This ]
very very creative &mdash 05/17/05 - 12:28:18 AM
Thank you, TN! I can't actually explain where the idea came from. It just
popped into my head and wouldn't leave until I wrote the song. [ Reply to This ]
Loved it &mdash 05/16/05 - 07:44:14 AM
Your writing talent for the whimiscal and unusual swims
to the top of the dish once again. I feel like I could send
you any kind of weird title for a song and you could write
it. Since I love categories, we will create a new one for this
and call it Sci-Hi-Fi. And of course, as in most humorous
songs, there is that touch of fear at the very back that
makes us glad we can make fun of it. Keep on please.
Great song. [ Reply to This ]
Loved it &mdash 05/17/05 - 12:30:40 AM
Thank you, Bronco! Love the new category. And I'm up to the weird title
challenge. Writing lyrics is my favorite part, and weird lyrics are even more
fun! [ Reply to This ]
she used lysol-flavored mace? &mdash 05/16/05 - 01:47:04 PM
who would have known that bacteria were sooooo picky, &
just how do you come up with this stuff, joanna? hmmm..
that wasn't a USED flute you bought on ebay was it? [ Reply to This ]
she used lysol-flavored mace? &mdash 05/17/05 - 12:32:40 AM
Thank you, _nder! Geez, I sure hope it wasn't a used flute... oh, well, too late
now. I've been germing it up since I got it. [ Reply to This ]
LOL &mdash 05/17/05 - 05:16:24 AM
I was thinking these lyrics could apply to many human
affairs.
Excellent lyrics and performance, Joanna.
PS. Are you going to include a bonus cd of songs with
your novel? You could sing from the POV of the
characters. :) [ Reply to This ]
LOL &mdash 05/18/05 - 06:38:05 AM
Thank you, Mungo! Hmm... a bonus CD with every novel? Well, that's one way
to give a publisher a heart attack. I'll think about it! [ Reply to This ]
David Amram? Peggy Lee? Joanna! &mdash 05/17/05 - 12:16:42 PM
For some reason, listening to this, I picture Peggy Lee in a
white jacket and black hornrim glasses singing in a 60s
lab setting. Bubbling test tubes, Bunson burners, petrie
dishes...
If you can ever find an old David Amram album, look for a
piece called "East or West," it features a penny whistle very
similar to yours. Another tune from the 60s.
You're too cool. [ Reply to This ]
David Amram? Peggy Lee? Joanna! &mdash 05/18/05 - 06:43:58 AM
Thank you, Tom! That Peggy Lee image is perfect. Like on one of those 60's
variety shows. I checked on iTunes for Amram and found some of his songs,
but not that one. I listened to a few and heard what I'm pretty sure is an
ocarina. Since I'm trying to learn how to play one, I found it very interesting -
thanks! [ Reply to This ]
Great originality in this! &mdash 05/18/05 - 09:59:58 PM
Joanna, you never cease to amaze (and amuse) me. This is
not only inventive, clever, entertaining and fun, it's very
well done!!
Your voice is particularly good in this. I like how you
change the color in a couple parts to affect another 'voice.'
Just great, inventive fun. :) [ Reply to This ]
Great originality in this! &mdash 05/20/05 - 03:15:42 AM
Thank you, Mystie! Singing as a male virus has always been a dream of
mine... oh wait, no it hasn't. But when the opportunity arises, I simply must
go for those low notes. [ Reply to This ]
Very funny... &mdash 05/18/05 - 10:37:41 PM
...and clever. Strange to hear you're voice pitch shifted... very
bizarre. Typically beautifully assembled. Singing A-grade as
always. Will send a copy to a genetics research friend... he'll
dig it. 8's DL [ Reply to This ]
Very funny... &mdash 05/20/05 - 03:17:43 AM
Thank you, Rovert! And thank you for passing it on to your geneticist friend. I
hope he gets a kick out of it. As for pitch shifting -- I hadn't thought of it like
that, but yeah, had to give it a shot. [ Reply to This ]
:) - &mdash 05/20/05 - 01:47:28 AM
You are sure a good writer, with a lot of humor talent.
When you say you are a writer, it really shows here.
Good going.
[ Reply to This ]
:) - &mdash 05/20/05 - 03:19:28 AM
Thank you, Tiler -- that means a lot to me. Writing lyrics is my favorite part
of songwriting. [ Reply to This ]
love where you find it &mdash 05/26/05 - 08:44:11 AM
Love - and music - is where you find it. When an idea this unconventional comes along, I think you just have to go with it, because it's unusual, it's a challenge, and it's fun. Great job of storytelling and singing! [ Reply to This ]
love where you find it &mdash 05/26/05 - 09:55:18 AM
Thank you, Warren! I knew it was a wacky idea, and that alone made it
something I had to write. Just blame my sense of humor. [ Reply to This ]
Ha! &mdash 05/26/05 - 09:12:11 PM
Very clever! Great fun!!
"What's the point of having GarageBand if you can't ..."
SO TRUE!!
I think if you added an additional instrument in the
chorus, it would break up the song nicely. [ Reply to This ]
Ha! &mdash 05/29/05 - 09:01:43 AM
Thank you, Shimky! This is a very spare arrangement, just bass, percussion,
and my little bamboo flute. I kept it that way to try to draw the listener into
paying attention to the lyrics. I do understand why you might want a little
pizazz in the musical bed, though. [ Reply to This ]
Amazed &mdash 05/31/05 - 03:05:04 PM
I'm so honored to have rubbed elbows w/ you today J.
This tune is just an outstanding piece. Very intelligent
work! Clever. Beautiful voice, very warm and personable is
what comes to mind. I'm also diggin the instrumental
arrangement, very tasteful. Congradulations on this. You
must be proud of it. Thanks for sharing. Cydniko [ Reply to This ]
Amazed &mdash 06/01/05 - 06:03:01 AM
Thank you, Cyd, what a lovely thing to say. I really appreciate you giving it a
listen. [ Reply to This ]
nice!!!! &mdash 06/05/05 - 05:40:48 PM
nice!!!! &mdash 06/15/05 - 12:37:11 AM
Oh yeah! &mdash 03/13/06 - 06:50:40 PM
Great fun to listen to, endlessly clever lyrics, neat to hear the "steamy
lab technician" voice shining through. Good use of the rhythm section
loops too, keeps things going at a steady pace. Way to go! [ Reply to This ]
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voice joanna.
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