I could go on...but the point is, I'm not sure if any song on
this site has affected me like this one, Alimar. Everytime I
hear the voicemail, I get chills. (Guess I should explain
that I heard versions of this going along.)

I didn;t realize that you played keyboard only on this. Very
well done. And the vocals are excellent.

But most of all, it is the story here that is most compelling
and moving. Your attitude in the face of this adversity is
an inspiration. And so, with that, I have no choice:

10-10-10-10 Sing!

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Thanks for all the pre-listens as this song progressed, Tom. Thank you for
the kind words. Your songs often touch me in a familiar way. Your
professionalism and talent shine through.

---
"The time is now"

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...is more than what we see.

Thank you for sharing your vision here, Al.





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Mysti, your help through these times will never be forgotten. You were put on
the spot for the ambient vocals for this song, and delivered without
reservation.

You mean life isn't a barrel?

---
"The time is now"

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Very interesting song. Great progression. It's nice to hear
your voice on this. It starts off rather dark and then it goes
through the tunnel of the call from the doctor, and then it
comes out beautifully into the next section which is very
uplifting. I think it could use more deep notes from the
strings throughout.

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PG, thanks for your comments. I often forget the little things, in this case the
bass and cello were sparce. Rhythmically I have a lot to learn about
composition. Vocally, I'm still struggling. Hopefully I will learn to "sing"
properly (Mysti said she would teach me).

---
"The time is now"

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it took a while to get used to the vocal effect you're using
here, but once I did I liked it.

I can tell this one comes right out of your life right now, it's
powerful stuff.

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KK, thanks for dropping by and commenting. I appreciate it. The vocals were
an experiment. I am still not used to hearing my own voice.

---
"The time is now"

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but strangely haunting, shivery and - yes - i am awake now - thank you for sharing this moving piece x

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Caroline, my friend from accross the ocean. Thanks for waking up and
listening to this song and commenting. Sorry if it "spooked" you!

---
"The time is now"

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The song definitely has merit on many levels but 4 people
giving it all 10s. Give me a freaking break. The vocals are
"pitchy" and that's being extremely polite. The percussion
throughout the entire piece seems like an afterthought.
It's uninspired and buried in the first half of the song.

I did think it was very original and creative but the main
images of the lyric are pretty clich�... stick a needle in my
eye... dark side of the moon... grass is always greener...

The most positive thing I can say is that the strings are
insanely great sounding and the vocal is very present... if
not TOO hot in the mix.

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Maybe the words should be someting like this (for the metaphorically
challenged):

I will giggle, I will let water drip from my, er, eyes, I had four fricken laser
holes drilled in the iris to alleviate the pressures caused by glaucoma.

Oh, and now one of my eyes can't see because there is damage done to my
optic nerve so it's dark and scary.

Oh, oh, and wait, the foliage in my front yard is a color of a frog (it aint easy
being green). But it is SO blurry now. Or, I couldn't get medical marijuana.

And where are YOUR songs, Rob? I remember reading that you have a CD out?
Post them, so everyone can rip YOU a new a**hole.

By the way, it's "cliché"

Why must you be such an angry young man? - Styx (too cliché for ya?)

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Go buy it and rip me new one... here's a direct link.

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?
playListId=4361930

Apparently there are others who think this is a "little" less than straight 10s. I
gave an honest opinion of what I thought and why. I'm sorry if it went against
the MacJams Lovefest Club.

I didn't say he sucked for crying out loud.

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Rob makes perfectly valid criticisms here, guys. Give him a break. He's a
talented guy and I think he knows what he's talking about. Personally, I found
qualities in this song that I enjoyed and admired, but I also thought four sets of
all 10's was a bit over the top. Even Alimar noted that there were things that
hadn't quite been refined right. I couldn't decide what to rate this so I didn't
vote; I do that when it's too hard for me to quantify a song here. I do know this:
Alimar can and surely will make this song better than it is, and while moral
support helps us all keep going, specific critical comments like Rob gave can
help us improve.

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Peter, Rob does make valid criticisms here. I don't know his music, but
respect your opinion, as a musician, that he is good. But to voice an opinion
that one "doesn't like the way someone has voted", or that something doesn't
"deserve" a particular score, is NOT what we're here for. The sole purpose of
this comment section is to critique the songs, PERIOD, not criticize what
anyone else has to say about it. When we start complaining about the way
some people have voted and commented, we defeat the purpose of this
venue. If we all stick to the criteria, in a fair way, everyone will all be happy.

When someone doesn't like a song, fine, perfect. When they don't like the
score they see, or if they deem a cumulative score "too high", I feel it should
be addressed in the forums... not here.

---
"The time is now"

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I appreciate your honesty. Thanks for commenting, I'm not sure that you
voted, but if it was low, I'm impressed that you also explained why.

---
"The time is now"

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Good comment, Alimar. This is an exceptionally emotional song, and those of
us who love it are inclined to rally to its defence, but Rob made a comment
and that should be applauded. It's the people who don't make a comment
who are the bad guys, not the ones who do.

But I'm dead impressed by your loyalty to your dad!

Can I just conclude by saying how pissed off that Rebsie and I spent weeks
writing our song
and then ended up releasing it this week? There is such incredible music
being put out there in the last few days, from old hands like atwood, Alimar,
Mysti, Joanna, caroline/JOAN ziti (You're officially hands now caroline ziti!) etc
and then
blinding new ones from newcomers like fireside and K Möller J. Am I the only
one to notice this? Guys don't stand a chance! Not fair.

We need more rubbish songs please.

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Mando, I'll do my part.

---
Mungo

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I think we need some kind of "Upcoming Releases" calender, so we can plot to release during quiet moments. Although, based on what's been going on around here lately, I doubt there'll be any breaks in the action.

Alimar, I agree with what you said about the comments section being used appropriately. I'd also like to say that it's possible to critique without being impolite.

Some of this comes down to a question I've been thinking of lately. Exactly what is this place? It's a community, sure, but what kind of community? I might be wrong, but I think the vast majority of people here aren't professional musicians or people who have the intention of becoming full-time music makers (with a bunch of notable exceptions). We all want to get better, but I think for many of us, there's more of a "Hey, look what I made. I want to share it with you" kind of vibe to this place. We're connecting with each other as friends by sharing our creative output. Your music tells me something about you. My music tells you something about me.

Hearing about your terrifiying health scare and how it changed the way you viewed life through a song is something I find more powerful than having you type out the story of what happened. Watching "Schindler's List," is a more moving experience than just hearing the facts of the Holocast because it takes you through the feeling of the people involved. Your song works the same way. Adding music, your voice, the voice mail tape and Mysti just enhance the overall emotion behind what happens and allows access to your self that another medium might not.

I thought your song was beautiful.

BTW, Congrats on making it onto that prog rock radio show!

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I don't feel the need to defend my vote on this, but maybe a further, general
explanation of my voting philosophy would help. Almost every song I rate is
based on emotion. How the music moves me. I suppose technique plays a
role, but I don't look at a song as a math equation. I hate math. To me music
is about emotion, and since most music is created with good intentions, I
tend to rate high, because I am moved by the very act of creating music. I cry
at my son's high school band concerts. I'm pitiful. So, combine that with a
song about the subject matter here, and all the 10s come out. I won't criticize
anyone for voting high or low, if they explain it. (I'm still having some trouble
loving the bombers.)

---
.

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I really like the vocals - the mix of the vocal parts is
excellent, especially so in the first verse. I'm afraid the
strings don't really do it as the main instruments for me.
I'd love to hear this with a full rhythm section as well as
the strings
Very creative!

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Thanks for the kudos. I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, a full blown rhythm section
would be nice. As I learn more about composition, I'll make an effort to
"complete" them.

---
"The time is now"

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To all you people that rate songs low without leaving a
comment, GET A FRICKEN LIFE.

State your concerns, spineless ba*tards.

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Dad, I'm proud of you for writing and posting this song.

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LOL.... A great son... i'd say the same . Lol.

---
http://12m.9k.com

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... you know the person. Undoubtedly this moved me a
great deal more because I know Alimar as such a great,
helpful Macjammer. Under those circumstances it is
almost impossible to be objective. But if you think about
it, music can only be listened to in the context you find it
in; and listening to this every time is like feeling a
trapdoor pulled from under me. I'm sitting in my office
and I'm not ashamed to say I'm red-eyed. It is a great,
great, moving piece of music. And I must say, anyone
who's mealy-mouthed about the actualy qualiity of this
music is just plain wrong. That piece of string writing
before "So now the time has come is excellent..." I love
too the ecstatic change to 6/8 in the middle. Me, I'm a
simplicity fanatic, so it takes a lot to convince me of music
with this sort of grandness, but if there's a better way to
communicate a true-life story about medical pain, fear
and joyful release into being able to live again, I don't
know what it is.


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Mando, it's funny how you can get to know someone... without ever meeting
them. There are some people here who have the "gift" of being objective,
even when knowing a the person who has created the composition. I admire
those who can restrain themselves from voting high scores for friends,
because they are friends. I have a hard time doing that. I've met so many
people here nad become an "instant friend". So, it becomes difficult when
voting on everyone's songs. I get attached to the lifeblood that is flowing
through the music, rather than the technical aspects. When I hear a song,
without knowing its background, I almost immediately like it or dislike it. It
doesn't matter the genre, if it feels good, it is good. I am guilty of rating
some songs very high based upon an emotional response.

Mando, I'm glad to be your friend.

---
"The time is now"

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Excellent track my friend....

"Triptastic" fer sure...my fav part is the Dr.'s message on
yer machine...genius how you fit that in there....

Take care of yourself... :)

Oh, an keep an eye on that "grass".... ;)

-Cheers-



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Thanks, Ronnie... you have your whole future ahead of you. You are a very
versatile and talented individual. Don't ever change... and don't "Break"
MacJams or iChat again!

---
"The time is now"

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I wouldn't mind hearing a complete rhythm section here, but
I like the energy and immediacy to this. I would guess if you
tweaked and tweezed this to perfection, you might lose the
original energy.
Including the medical call is quite novel and does create an
effective emotional pivot point to the song.
I wish you well.

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Mungo, thanks for the comments. Your points are well taken. As I stated
before, there could be more rhythm involved. And, I agree, it may just lose
something if polished too much.

---
"The time is now"

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Alimar; Leavin ur mark in this dump we call earth

Mysty; As lovely as ever on the vocals. So powerful.

That doctor phone call was AWAKENING. Then i
understood what this was about. Then the build up, just
like life itself after shitty occurences.

LOVELY...


Pleasure to listen to...

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Thanks, Doz. You are too kind. maybe you can help me with aHip Hop or Rap
song in the future. That is one genre that I know little about.

---
"The time is now"

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I gave 10-10-10-10, and ?

who the f*** is to judge my taste. What? i did, there goes
the 5th pair. Why can i not vote so for a man who does
nothin to create art (professional-like almost) and shares
knowledge all day long w/ idiots(me) that are 5 steps
below his level?
Well i will...

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I have always loved your voice, from the first moment I
heard it, the baritone depth, the edgy quality, the warmth
and emotionalism. Since you are going to rework this, I
must say only the first stanza should stay, and the "Needle
in my eyes" 3rd stanza, tho I think you can sing those
better too. Not only is the rest pitchy (some is way out of
tune, like the ahs later on), the rest lacks the presence and
vitality due to (perhaps) too many effects (flanging,
especially). The female voice is very nice. The lyrics mean
a lot more when I know that the needle line is literal as
well as metaphorical; knowing this, I really liked the lyrics.
And the pop chord progression is very pleasing. The song
has kind of a Moody Blues distance coupled with too loud
vocals that make it disjoint, in my ears. But this is a first
draft and I am excited about the end result, since the
concept is cool. Is there a way to make certain the listener
knows the needle in the eye is literal and medically
happening to the singer?

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I think it's a very artistic cool piece of music !
I think messing around with a track too much destroys the
original essence. You are who you are. All the advice, and
reviewing won't change who you are as an artist. As far as
numbers, they don't translate into dollars any way. The track
is not mainstream or radio relevant in today's market, so let's
enjoy the spirit and essence of a nice piece of music.


CR

---
Cecil Reynolds

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I did enjoy it, very much. But my relationship with Alimar revolves around
perfecting tracks, pointing out things to make the music better, etc. We do it to
each other's music all the time. I don't mean to minimize or trivialize the art or
process. I think Al would be disappointed if I didn't say this sort of thing. I'm
sure he took it in the right spirit. Right, Al?

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Tobin, I'm not offended at all by your comments, that's what this area
is for. I rushed, and sang on four seperate days... so the continuity was
scattered. Plus, singing around family time is so rushed! LOL! I was not
pleased with the results... and I mentioned it to Mysti and Slimmie. But I had
to put it away... for now. The lyrics were written as I sang them... and were
sung out of sequence, so they ARE disjointed. Singing on the fly... whatever
came into my mind... WAS very cliche. Coming to grips with this has been
difficult so "technical" wasn't something that I wanted to labor over. There
should be no excuses. But I had to "Jump back in the saddle". I should have
Melodyned!!! Taking chances... is what it is about. I need a voice
coach because I don't breath right or have proper control when I sing.

Some people just got a little off track when commenting here, as well as on
other people's songs. If everyone would stick to the criteria... Don't you just
love the drama at MJ? LOL!

Thanks for the encouragement! I took it in the right spirit.

---
"The time is now"

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Well, I must say that you have certainly taken one of life'e lemons and made lemonade. Oh my gosh...that was so cliche, oops! This is a 'honest to goodness' track that tells a story and leaves you grateful for your blessings. And to me...music is about sending a message and this is a sad yet kinda humorous wake up call. Keep on singing!

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I'll overlook musical imperfections and just enjoy a good
song borne of chaos, turmoil and passion everytime.

This song is special because of the circumstances behind
the inspriation. You've faced serious adversity and have,
through this song, committed yourself to facing the
challenge in a positive manner.

Al, IMHO you showed extreme courage in creating and
sharing this song. I appreciate that.

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I hear you loud and clear. Pay no attention to the man
behinf the curtain.

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This is a nicely put together track, probably a bit prog/
soft rock for my tastes if I am honest so I won't vote as I
don't know enough about those genres really. But there is
certainly a lot of artistry at work here..great production.
Always nice to hear Mysti's ambient vocalising too!
S

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"Stick another needle in my eye" reference. Two
procedures I face:

Glaucoma Laser Trabeculoplasty

Argon Laser and Pulse Dye Lasers can be used to treat
those with certain types of open angle glaucoma. The
laser treatment is done in the office on an outpatient basis
and takes approximately 5-10 minutes per eye. Typically
one eye is treated at a time and a treatment can be
performed a second time if it loses its effectiveness. With
Laser Trabeculoplasty we place multiple small laser
treatment spots (drilling 90 holes, in a 360�? circumference
pattern along the inner iris) in the trabecular meshwork to
help open and enhance its drainage capabilities. The laser
is generally pain-free and patients are back to their
normal activities the same day as the treatment. Laser
Trabeculoplasty is successful about 70% of the time but
unfortunately we are not always able to predict who will
respond better to Laser Trabeculoplasty than others.

Glaucoma Surgery

For those that have progressive glaucoma damage despite
maximal tolerated medical therapy and in previous laser
trabeculoplasty incision glaucoma surgery is sometimes
necessary to control intraocular pressure and prevent
glaucomatous damage to the optic nerve. A
trabeculectomy is a procedure, which creates a new drain
in the wall of the eye under the upper eyelid. This can be
performed on an outpatient surgery basis in the Plymouth
Laser & Surgical Center. It is done with local anesthesia
around the eye (needle) and intravenous sedation for
relaxation. The procedure takes approximately 30-40
minutes to perform and is successful approximately 90%
of the time. Most patients are able to enjoy freedom of
glaucoma eye drops after glaucoma filtering surgery.
Those at risk for angle closure glaucoma are
recommended to have a YAG laser iridotomy, which places
a small hole in the peripheral iris under the upper eyelid.
The purpose of this laser procedure is to allow fluid to
flow through the hole and prevent occlusion of the
peripheral iris with the drainage structure (trabecular
meshwork). This procedure can be prophylactic for those
at risk of angle closure glaucoma and therapeutic for
those with an acute episode of angle closure glaucoma.
The laser takes approximately 5 minutes to perform and
patients are back to their normal activities the same day
as the laser treatment. Artificial plastic drainage implants
can be placed in eyes (taking the eye out, cutting it open,
draining the fluid, and then replacing it with the addition
of a "bladder" floating atop the remaininf fluid) a for those
that have responded poorly to conventional
trabeculectomy glaucoma surgery. These setons can be
placed into the anterior chamber of the eye underneath
the conjunctiva to provide drainage filtration.

[ Reply to This ]

Reminds me of Alan Parsons Project during their heyday, a
little odd, infectious, and emotional. I agree with a few
others that the drums have issues. I particularly dislike the
toms sound. I think it's because the vocals and the strings
are so life-like and fill the sound stage so well, they really
contrast with the drum track. The doctor call was
unexpected, but it's probably a little long in my estimation
and begins to lose it's power. But the track still kept me in
until the end.

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Its good to hear you sing again!
I like the descending harmonies, unusual but very effective
dissonance that seems to reflect the lyrics perfectly.
I like the Genesis type to feel to the whole track .. really
excellent work Alimar... Excellent arrangement and Mystis
vocals behind really give it depth.
Fabulous track my friend..

Slimmie


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I like this song very much.

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Very well produced tune. Nice singing.
And of course nice alimar tradmark orchestration!

Thanks for sharing.



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You have a Pink Floyd sound!

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I heard the beginning sketches of this song last week and
am very impressed with how you have tightened up the
structure, Alimar! You eliminated the meandering
sections, added more of a firm foundation with percussion
and it sounds like you've adjusted the strings somehow.

This is all good. What else can we do but try to improve
our music each time we sit down to create something?

Here at MacJams, this PROCESS of evolution is a very
important aspect, hopefully leading to a better end-result.

Constructive comments are the heart and soul of this site
and are to be encouraged. They can be expressed
diplomatically or sometimes not. At times it is difficult to
avoid taking things personally.

It is unfortunate that this particular song prompted some
misunderstandings, but it is good that you are able to find
the constructive parts and turn them into a "positive".

And it is wonderful that you are expressing yourself with
your voice now. It has great potential and I look forward
to hearing more of it here!

I like the balance between the strings and your voice on
this piece. Very sonically satisfying.

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Your song really hits me hard,
Your song articulates so much of what I feel often.
My wife was diagnosed with cancer a while back and those tests and doctor's calls are killers. They're great when they are good news. For me and my wife, so far, so good. But, it's always there. We never get out of that room. I'm not even close to writing about it. I never totally relax anymore.

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Seriously. I don't use words like that lightly. I think it's obvious that your heartfelt words touched a lot of people here. And, if that weren't enough, it's a great song to listen to. Thanks, man. As always. - JP

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Where did that sexy voice come from??? I love the emotion you put into your phrases. keep singing, you can only get better!!!

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harmonies and strings!!!......i agree with mimi.....your vocals
are pretty good and can only get better with more
singing.....keep doing it man!.........

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First though actually.. from he opening sequence I thought I heard some influence from the beatles. Cool ambient feeling with the radio sequence. Very clever arrangement... and you ooose confidence through your performance.
Ahh here comes more of the beatles with those strings at the end of the song.


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Showing everyone that you can still make prog rock... stay
true to the form and still sound fresh and modern ... THis
is a wonderful piece. Has a southern rock feel to it. Great
great job.

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I enjoyed this mix and thought yours and Mystified's singing were perfect for the style and content of the song.

I loved the strings. Plenty of feeling there.

More please....

R

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