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Description:
This is a pretty simple song. Basically I'm wanting some feedback to see if people like it or if they think it is boring etc. Thanks for your comments and suggestions. Enjoy
Lyrics:
Always inside I can't complain
I always love it when it rains
I'm right beside you we pass the time
seconds later this moments mine
this moments mine
I love you more than yesterday
It always feels like our first date
I'm so warm with your love
Years later time has passed
Here we are its been a blast
I'm still beside you hand in hand
Let us walk this foreign land
This foreign land
I love you more than yesterday
It always feels like our first date
I'm so warm with your love
Hardware:
Washburn Acoustic, Fender Bass, MobilePre USB, Shure SM58 (I,m saving for a condenser)
Software:
GB2
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good start &mdash 09/03/05 - 08:00:14 PM
I like your vocals during the first half. The line "I love you
more than yesterday" reminds me too much of one oldies
song (can't remember which). Production could use some
spicing up... some more instruments would be nice, and/
or a harmony vocal in parts... [ Reply to This ]
good start &mdash 09/03/05 - 08:33:10 PM
Thank you for your comment cjhoose. I've been thinking the same thing.
Maybe some more instruments and some harmony vocal lines. If you think of
the oldies song please let me know. I'm still trying to decide, do I use live
drums or software drums? It's a constant battle in my mind. Thanks for
stopping by. [ Reply to This ]
I like the tune &mdash 09/03/05 - 11:14:24 PM
It would benefit from some piano, I think. Drums of
course, real or midi, your choice.
thanks for sharing [ Reply to This ]
very nice &mdash 09/04/05 - 12:07:03 AM
I like this song very much the way it is. I believe that drums
would clutter up the song, and take away from the folky
ambience that you've created. This sounds like you.
Excellent job! [ Reply to This ]
very nice &mdash 09/04/05 - 07:17:47 AM
Thank you for your comment and encouragement matthew. Thanks for
stopping by. [ Reply to This ]
breezy &mdash 09/05/05 - 12:13:18 AM
I agree that more instrumentation might take away from the song.
A shaker or tambourine at most.
The chorus is catchy, a second vocal part would do the trick for me.
Cheers. [ Reply to This ]
breezy &mdash 09/05/05 - 09:54:46 AM
Thanks you for your comment Wurlygig. I agree that the chorus does need
some backing vocals. Sometimes (as other MJers probably feel) I/we get antsy
and just upload the song before it has fully come to fruition. It takes some
discipline not to rush to get the product out. [ Reply to This ]
Simple and gentle &mdash 09/05/05 - 07:45:34 AM
The melody of the base is simple and good.
The guitar is suitable for the atmosphere of the base and the
song.
This is settled overall and well.
[ Reply to This ]
Simple and gentle &mdash 09/05/05 - 09:50:33 AM
wouldn't change a thing &mdash 09/16/05 - 08:12:05 AM
Love the melody & the bass. vocal line is catchy & sticks in my head. Work the production / quality a bit & this one is a real winner. 9899 - thanks for sharing. [ Reply to This ]
wouldn't change a thing &mdash 09/16/05 - 09:42:42 AM
Steve, thanks for your comment and vote. I am still learning (as we all
constatnly are) and will work on improving my productions. Thanks for listening
and taking the time to stop by. [ Reply to This ]
this song is screaming for &mdash 01/17/06 - 09:17:37 PM
a complete band to really punctuate your songwriting. At first I was
thinking... just tighten up the pauses between phrases... then I
immediately retracted that thought... it sounds a little "nirvana" (not in
a bad way) with no band... but if you built up some of the sections with
a little instrumentation, and let the drums carry you through the
pauses, then the phrasing becomes ideal and leaves space for the
listener to take in what you're saying.
I think this is good songwriting... and just calls for arranging to make it
great.
--pax [ Reply to This ]
this song is screaming for &mdash 02/11/06 - 09:55:47 AM
Hello pax, thank you for listening and commenting on my song. I agree that my
songs would be much better with more instrumentation. I am itching to record
some live drums and to implement some software instruments. Thanks for
stopping by. [ Reply to This ]
Keep it Up !!! &mdash 03/07/08 - 02:47:00 AM
GREAT Lyrics ! Nice Tune, I like to hear People with a 'non-perfect voice' it can inspire me & Your songs do
Tx [ Reply to This ]
Nice! &mdash 05/20/08 - 07:47:44 AM
Very nice tune my bro., you have a very fine sound on that bass. Good vocals, I hope to hear this song re-recorded from you with the skills you reached now!
Take Care
- Yeman A. Al-Rawi [ Reply to This ]
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more than yesterday" reminds me too much of one oldies
song (can't remember which). Production could use some
spicing up... some more instruments would be nice, and/
or a harmony vocal in parts...
[ Reply to This ]