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Description:
This song is my first electric guitar posting on MacJams. This song is also my first to include a drum loop. The drum loop is the same thing over and over so watch out (it's not that bad though.) This song contains lyrics that are not suitable to younger listeners. I wrote this song in high school roughly seven years ago. In my original song the ending slows down tempo but you can't do that in GB unless you splice parts together or so I've read. Anywho, please enjoy and comment/vote on this song if you like. Thanks, Adam.
Lyrics:
I'm such a fool to believe in your lies
I thought I told you once to advertise
You're more the slut than I thought you were
You've had so many guys that your raincoats are short on supply
Late at night when I'm not there
You spread your legs and its not fair
You're more the slut than I thought you were
You've had so many guys that your raincoats are short on supply
Hardware:
Same as previous posts with the exception of my Fender Squire.
Software:
GB2
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A Comment &mdash 09/25/05 - 09:14:16 PM
Cool. Reminds me of Everclear, tho less angry.
I like the music, but, your singing suffers from distortion and a lack of, shall we say, talent. It'd be alright except that you don't have complete control over your voice.
I like the lyrics, by the way. They're concise and poetically ambiguous without being confusing.
A stupid question, perhaps: what're the "raincoats" you speak of? [ Reply to This ]
A Comment &mdash 09/26/05 - 12:35:35 PM
Thank you for your input, I am still working on controlling my voice. "Raincoats"
is a funny replacement word for condoms. Get it? [ Reply to This ]
Could be much better &mdash 09/29/05 - 09:19:15 PM
Gets off to a good start, than it sound like everything goes out of tune.
I think it has great potential. I'd change that raincoat line though. I'm
probably just more vindictive than you though. I don't think it's much
of an insult to say you are running out of condoms. I'd say something
a little more hurtful.
I do like where you were going though.
Bob Roberts [ Reply to This ]
Could be much better &mdash 10/01/05 - 09:26:38 AM
Thank you for taking the time to listen and for your comments. I will take them
into consideration. [ Reply to This ]
What does your ex say about this? &mdash 10/04/05 - 09:36:52 PM
Very promising, but too short. You need to develop the storyline a little
longer. I Like the heavy rock feel to it. Does your mom know you sing
this kind of stuff? haha!
[ Reply to This ]
What does your ex say about this? &mdash 10/05/05 - 11:24:57 AM
Virgil thanks for listening. I agree about the song being short. Once I get a
music application that lets me change tempo I will be re-recording this song.
This is not a song I would willingly share with my parents. If they stumble upon
it, than so be it. This song offers some inner workings on a teenage mind. I did
not share this song with my ex. [ Reply to This ]
Angry &mdash 10/08/05 - 03:54:09 AM
Liked the guitar intro, the tune, the overall effect and I enjoyed your
singing too (but you probably need to build your vocal confidence)
I feel the mix needs sorting out a bit - the bass seems too forward
while your vocal and the drums are too far back. All I'd move the
distorted guitar closer to the centre - I found having it in the left
channel a bit wearing by the end of the song.
Lyrically more could happen too - for instance, why did you stick with
this woman if she shags around? Don't like the word 'slag' because it's
generally only applied to women (hypocritically at that) and it's an 'off
the shelf' term which doesn't really describe how you feel, e.g.
humiliated? [ Reply to This ]
Angry &mdash 10/09/05 - 05:07:14 AM
Whoops! Where did 'slag' come from (Freud would have a thing or two to say
about that!) Of course I meant to quote from your song and use the word 'slut'. [ Reply to This ]
Angry &mdash 10/11/05 - 10:33:43 AM
Komrade K, thank you for your comments and suggestions. I agree that the
distorted guitar should not only be in the left channel, it does get somewhat
draining on the ears. I am still a total newbie when it comes to recording and
mixing, practice makes perfect, right? I never was really dating this girl. It's just
one of those things where you start to get to know a person and they end up
being something other than you thought they were. I never did sleep with her
amd the line "late at night when you're not there, you spread your legs, it's not
fair" kind of translates to me wanting to be with her but after finding out how
much she slept around, it just wasn't worth it. [ Reply to This ]
tuning &mdash 05/24/06 - 06:59:18 AM
one thing that would have improved this track would be to make sure all
of the instruments are in tune with each other. the singing will never be
on if the guitars are that far out of tune [ Reply to This ]
tuning &mdash 07/07/06 - 12:00:56 AM
I agree that I should have had everything in tune. Damn Fender Squire... [ Reply to This ]
A great base &mdash 01/20/07 - 11:15:55 PM
I think with a total overhall in instrumentation this could be really good, the mix and the distortion and the instrumentation is just off. I can hear a really great song behind this though, it's just hidden under the messyness but keep at it its a great start! [ Reply to This ]
Thanks &mdash 01/31/07 - 02:15:41 PM
Thanks for your encouragement. I am in the process of revamping my recording setup and am going to focus a lot more on production/quality and making sure everything is in tune. I am hopeful that 2007 will be a good year for recording, experimentation, and some soul searching. Thanks for stoping by. [ Reply to This ]
Get it... &mdash 02/11/07 - 12:51:55 PM
PS... &mdash 02/11/07 - 12:53:50 PM
Yeah... &mdash 02/17/07 - 03:05:14 AM
Thanks for taking the time to listen. I am working on my production skills so my next offering should be a lot better. You gotta love cheap guitars! [ Reply to This ]
I See.... &mdash 01/10/08 - 05:59:26 PM
I see what you're trying to get to, You've got a Weezer thing going on here, which is cool.
Tiny little thing is that you've got to work on the structure a bit more.
Liked it.
Dave [ Reply to This ]
Wez &mdash 01/11/08 - 12:31:03 AM
Yes, Weezer has always been an influence of mine. I'm not sure if I will ever revisit this song but the structure definitely needs added to and polished quite a bit. Thanks for your comments!
[ Reply to This ]
Hhehehehe : ) &mdash 03/07/08 - 02:50:03 AM
TX GREAT LYRICS LOL HAHHAHAHAHHA!!! Keep practicing on that Guitar : )! [ Reply to This ]
Great! &mdash 05/20/08 - 07:45:36 AM
I really liked your music work, clearly recorded and played. Very nice song!
Take Care
- Yeman A. Al-Rawi [ Reply to This ]
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I like the music, but, your singing suffers from distortion and a lack of, shall we say, talent. It'd be alright except that you don't have complete control over your voice.
I like the lyrics, by the way. They're concise and poetically ambiguous without being confusing.
A stupid question, perhaps: what're the "raincoats" you speak of?
[ Reply to This ]