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I tried to spice it up a little. Let me know what you think.
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| alley-oop said 1449 days ago (December 7th, 2005) | |
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The voice This is just such a lovely, sweet, song. I love that you come back with one more refrain of the vocal! Awesome, I think that's great. I like the addition instruments. The melody instantly sticks in my head. This song has everything going for it, and the most soulful singing I think I've ever heard. Great job, Mr. R Check out my latest song called anymore
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| alley-oop said 1449 days ago (December 7th, 2005) | |
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The voice This is just such a lovely, sweet, song. I love that you come back with one more refrain of the vocal! Awesome, I think that's great. I like the addition instruments. The melody instantly sticks in my head. This song has everything going for it, and the most soulful singing I think I've ever heard. Great job, Mr. R Check out my latest song called anymore
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| aclarke said 1449 days ago (December 7th, 2005) | |
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Damn you! Now I have to replace the previous download. This seems to be much warmer to my ears. After reading the Composer's comment I'd have to agree with the location of the drums... maybe bring them more to the center. But man, what a beautiful song! I really like the reggae-pop flavor of this a lot! Check out my latest song called Ballad of The Little Tiki
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| Ed Hannifin said 1449 days ago (December 7th, 2005) | |
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The main attraction... ...remains your vocal, and the simple, infectious beauty of the groove and melody combined... I gave a listen with my best headphones, and this is indeed much improved. The organ does serve to tie things together. For whatever reason, I'm not catching the distortion that The Composer refers to. I'm not as bothered by the off-sides drums either... on the headphone mix, they're still pretty full, and it sounds pleasantly retro to me... might be different over speakers or if listening in a car... Bob, as you can tell, the song already works for me, so anything else I say is nitpicking 'cause that seems to be what you're asking for... At this point, with the firmer rhythm bed, I think I would revisit the guitar solo. I think you can do one that's a little surer and tighter. I would also listen hard to the bass. There are a couple parts where the bass doesn't seem to land on exactly the same beat as the other instruments... Tighter it is, the better it is... After that, I think your other main avenue of improvement will be the external one: you start hiring musicians, you go to a professional studio and all that... The song remains the heart of this, and the song remains strong. I persist in thinking it's a marketable song. And let me say one more time that your singing is really good... Ed Check out my latest song called Next Time Around (w/jiguma)
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| thetiler said 1449 days ago (December 7th, 2005) | |
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terrific Your voice has a spectactular raggae feel. As both tracks show to be is that the guitar licks seems to drag abit, to make this tune really shine and in the previous one is to strenghen the guitar leads. But make no mistake, your voice and the backround feel for this tune is terrifc and sure don't say that to every tune that comes up here at MJ. Check out my latest song called The Bluebird Cafe (with two other guest)
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| White Hawks said 1449 days ago (December 7th, 2005) | |
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you know, YOUR VOCAL IS SUPERB! THANKS FOR SHARING. - HAWKS Check out my latest song called Shepherds Out in the Field
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| senait said 1448 days ago (December 8th, 2005) | |
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Nice I like the music....very mellow |
| senait said 1448 days ago (December 8th, 2005) | |
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Nice I like the music....very mellow...and u have a nice voice |
| jiguma said 1448 days ago (December 8th, 2005) | |
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Great voice! Hi Bob, I still love your vocals - even more this time. This is a great song. Neil Check out my latest song called Lost In Translation (w Mike Watkins)
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| rmaclema said 1423 days ago (January 2nd, 2006) | |
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yeah Yeah, the arrangement is definitely stronger in this version. I hear the vocal distortion that The Composer mentions - it's not a huge problem, but something to watch out for when recording vocals. Good overall improvement over the original. Check out my latest song called Last Kiss Goodbye
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Check out some of my other songs:
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The Composer
This is quite an improvement over the original. Just by adding the
organ track in the background add a significant amount of depth and
warm to song. You've also filled up the stereo space with the organ
and synth tracks so it now sounds much more like a song and less like
a backing track.
Now I'm gonna get a little more picky... I know I suggested to play
around with the stereo space which you have done a little... but I
noticed you've moved the drums slightly to the right which unbalances
it a little. Unless you're going for an old style sound, the drums
generally sound fine panned in the center... and I guess I should've
mentioned that they were ok where they were to begin with.
You're vocal track is distorting on occasion particular during "I never
wanna see you cry". I'm not sure whether this the track clipping (a
simple compressor or limiter will fix that) or if this happened when you
recorded in the vocals in the first place (will require you to sing it again
to fix it).
And if you really want to make this into a reggae track... re-record the
guitar track playing mostly on the off beats (2 and 4) and re-write the
drum track to focus on the 3rd beat and almost completely leave out
the 1st beat. Your voice really does suit that genre quite well actually.
Nice work and a good improvement. Congrats.