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Description
My first song on macjams. I wrote this after listeming to lots of Ryan Adams. I'm looking for any feedback that can be offered as I only began recording with Garageband a few months ago
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Lyrics
Been walking blind with no staff to guide
Seems logic walked out the door
Now I'm feeling seasick like a stranded ship
With a thousand broken oars....Helpless
Seems logic walked out the door
Now I'm feeling seasick like a stranded ship
With a thousand broken oars....Helpless
dreadmon
You've got a nice natural voice, be encouraged. Sounds like the melody might still be in development; once you've got the verses locked down, you're gonna nail this song. The guitar and harmonica could definitely come up in the mix. Melody in the bridge likewise seems to be brewing, you don't sound as comfortable singing this and some of the lyrics seem rushed together as if you're not sure how they fit - maybe a rewrite here to allow some more space in the delivery. At first listen, the bridge seems to be in a stretchy part of your range, but I think once you work the melody how you like, it will be very easy for you to reach those notes. Overall, this is a very good beginning, better than most I've heard. Spend some more time going over alternatives for your melodies in the verses and bridge and work on bringing the guitar and harmonica up in the mix. Also, watch your mic technique while singing - back off for high volume, get in close for low volume. This will save you having to come back with the pen tool to equalize the volume. Looking forward to hearing how this one comes out!