The accoustic sounds good. I like the clarity and closeness of it, which
has a very intimate vibe. I'd suggest adding just a little width to bring
thhe listener closer, maybe panning just 10% R/L using a doubled
track.
The tone of the rythm electric guitar seems a little too dirty and over-
effected to me for some reason. I think I was drawn in by the natural
character of the accoustic and want to hear a bit more of the pick
against the strings. The electric sort of pushes me away.
I think you might consider some alternate effects on the vocals rather
than the delay. A phasing chorus might contrast the vocals more
strongly with the center panned accoustic and help to accentuate the
dream-like atmosphere, especially given the sparseness of the lyrics.
In a sense, because the song is brief I think the vocals need to be really
impactful.
I dig the emotion of the song and the abstract lyrical content.
Cameron's description of a "drunken haze" is very apt. Lots of mood in
a tight little package!
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The way this piece begins is interesting, with a loose, free-form rhythm. It sort of meanders along without a definite beat, which creates a mood of sadness. A little drunken haze, perhaps?
Then the guitar and drums kick in with a steadier beat, although that free-form feeling remains throughout the song. Some things are a bit of of synch, a little unsettling, but effective in its way of conveying sadness.
Your artwork perfectly fits the mood you have created on this song.
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