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Description
This was a song that my friend sent to me and asked me to record for her - the lyrics and melody are hers, but everything else is mine.
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Lyrics
Sweet serenity so subtle
Flowing through my feeble veins
Broken by the beating footsteps
Of our only enemy
Seeing sunshine long sought after
By the riverside so fair
All that I have ever wanted
Shall now rip apart and tear
Moonlight streaming through the window
Of another ailing child
See the light that once was cherished
Now forever more be lost
Sweet serenity so subtle
Flowing through my feeble flesh
Never need another nurser
I am blown out like a flame
Flowing through my feeble veins
Broken by the beating footsteps
Of our only enemy
Seeing sunshine long sought after
By the riverside so fair
All that I have ever wanted
Shall now rip apart and tear
Moonlight streaming through the window
Of another ailing child
See the light that once was cherished
Now forever more be lost
Sweet serenity so subtle
Flowing through my feeble flesh
Never need another nurser
I am blown out like a flame
dreadmon
This is very Middle Earth in its feel, I love the free-flowing aspect of it. In fact, this loose rhythm might be better served if your vocals were more random, as opposed to the meter you maintain throughout the piece. It sounds like your vocals are clipping a bit, like you've run the sound too hot, I don't know if that's in the recording or just the mixing. You've got a nice, clear voice, so you should leave yourself plenty of headroom (LED clearance, into the yellow only slightly) and stay on the microphone so as not to strain your voice. A couple of times, you sounded a little off-key, maybe for not being familiar with the melody or not having enough breath support (I could hear a couple of places where you seemed to run out of air), but your voice is so very capable of sustaining rich and flowing melodies. Like with any singer, familiarity of the path is the best way to avoid missteps. Overall, I liked this - some production work and rehearsals with this will really bring it forward in a bold and dynamic light. The words are quite beautiful and the mood, positively ethereal!