hey, like the tune.....this is my second listen..good vocal/melody ..maybe
you could put an effect on the voice to give it more depth, or add a
second voice......it needs to have a more heaviness to it..........I thought
the bass at the end was good, maybe you could include some bass
towards the begininng, do you use a midi controller? if not you might be
able to scribe a bass line using the shorthand method rather than use a
loop.......I also thought the ending to be a bit abrupt, go ahead and come
to a complete stop, but leave the recording on to give your listener a bit
of silence before hitting the stop record button.............thanks for the
tune,,.............t

[ Reply to This ]

Well written. Very nice instrumental nice composition. thanks for
sharing.

John

[ Reply to This ]

Delicious rhythm - I'm not sure I like all of the effects on the vox, they're almost too much. There's a little snatch of a loop or something that comes in a few times and obscures his singing. The levels are pretty good, some of the elements come in a bit loud, like the guitar in the right channel. Like the bass at the end, though it would've been nice to hear it incorporated more into the tune throughout. It's definitely a nice beginning to something very cool!

[ Reply to This ]

Thanks....there will be more to come!

---
- Dan -

[ Reply to This ]

Mr. Nation
You have created a happy tune, this is definatly a work in progress
however.
I noticed you used loops, this must mean that you are either in your
play stage with garage band, or that your main form of musicality is
singing. I think you have a good sence of how to use loops in general,
although some of them didn't work. For one, the bass riff does not
abide to one key. It follows a 2,5,1 chord progression, but lets not get
into theory right now. The Electric piano loop at the beginning works
for about 2 bars, but then goes into a new key and clashes with
everything else. Same with the blues piano that followes it. Seriously
though, MINOR THINGS, I'm sure some people on this site are gonna
read this and be like Joel, you are WAY off. This is definatly a catchy
tune that I'm sure will draw some attention when finnished. Nice to
meet you Sir!

[ Reply to This ]

the whole "work in progress" as a lyric and actual dilema with the song
works. You better not finish the song--you'll have to change the lyrics
and the title. You'll have to call it, "We just finished the song, it's no
longer a work in progress"!

[ Reply to This ]

I agree. It could even be cool to have the song end a bit more abruptly, since, after all, it <i>is</i> a work in progress. Maybe? ok, maybe not.

[ Reply to This ]