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Description:
A cleaned up, streamlined mix of 'Tern'. Lyrically it's an observation of the impatience of youth and the wisdom of age.
What's changed?
1) Intro percussion is gone
2) The sequenced synths are gone
3) The guitar solo is gone
4) New drum programming
5) Other tweaks (too many to mention here)
Lyrics:
i don't mean to sound pretentious,
but you know she's going places,
and nothing phases her.
she's done with books,
and she's got the looks.
lookout world - she's running free.
and I've heard it said "we all end up dead"
she's having too much fun to care
now ask yourself,
Is there such a thing -
as too many social activities?
leave a message,
and wait and see,
give her time to check her diary.
and I've heard it said...
"a moving target is so much harder to hit"
(chorus)
and she'll sing if she wants
and she'll sing her song
you can tag along (that's okay)
just as long...
as you sing her song.
you'd better wipe the sleep from your eyes,
and keep 'em peeled and stay sharp if you care.
and you can seek her here,
and you can seek her there.
nobody said that life was fair?
And I've heard them say "every dog has his day"
so reach out and make a play.
(chorus)
(breakdown)
someday she's gonna hit the ground,
and if you're there - and you still care
then maybe she'll call you baby.
and you sing if you want (sing as one),
you can sing your song (hand in hand).
they can tag along - that's ok
just as long, together you can sing your song
daddy's little girl is all grown up,
it's too late now if he messed up,
daddy's little girl has flown the nest
fingers crossed - he tried his best.
Hardware:
Power Mac G5 Quad
G4 Powerbook
MBox
Shure 58a
Charvel 750XL
Software:
ProTools
BFD
Amplitube
SampleTank
T-Racks
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Loved the original &mdash 01/29/06 - 12:25:04 PM
Loved the original version, and this seems an improvement. Great
song for starters, the lyrics are particularly meaningful as a parent who
has been through the teenage daughter years! Love the tones on the
guitar, and your playing is just right on this - some very original
stylistic pieces. To me this is something I'd expect to hear on the radio
(on a good day) - shame about the solo going, although there's so
much good stuff happening on the guitar that it perhaps doesn't
matter. Nice bass lines. What did you use for the drum programming?
Vox excellent. AND it's about "the wisdom of age" - can't miss with
me.
Love it!
Neil [ Reply to This ]
Oh Damn &mdash 01/29/06 - 12:42:56 PM
I should pay better attention to these things.. the original was great but
somehow this more streamlined version forced me to focus more on the
lyrics.... man, someday my little girl is gonna grow up... I don't want to
think about that right now. Quite frankly, I'm amazed and surprised at
how these lyrics have impacted me. In particular the last verse...
Pie- this is a truly amazing song, from the unpretentious intro to the
impressive way you bring it all back home. Great stuff! [ Reply to This ]
good thing... &mdash 01/29/06 - 02:21:57 PM
..I have two sons:)
Well I guess the concern for their well-being is in place as well...
Your skills blow me away Pie. You sound like Sting (when he has a good day;), and compose, arrange and perform to top ratings. Stunning, at least.
The way you place every element in the mix with such concern, and it results in a mix with depth and great texture. The background vocals is placed perfectly, and the overall quality of this is the best I think I've heard here.
Guitars, drums, bass, well everything is treated well to the smallest detail.
This is worth money... a lot:) [ Reply to This ]
Love it! &mdash 01/29/06 - 02:36:35 PM
I only have three words:"I LOVE IT". A beautiful song and beautiful lyrics! [ Reply to This ]
Well Done &mdash 01/29/06 - 03:58:04 PM
I enjoyed the orgininal and enjoy this more.
BTW, that's quite a wall of sound on the guitars in the chorus.
I am tempted to write a rejoinder about stupid old people. ;) [ Reply to This ]
thoughts from the bull... &mdash 01/29/06 - 04:55:05 PM
i made a mistake tonight and i listened to about a dozen new tunes
here. this one came unrecommended and i came in blind, not knowing
who you are.
the mistake is that after listening to all these songs, i've yet to find one
that i did not like... a lot. it makes me look at my own work so
crookedly. there's nothing more inspiring that a good, solid song with
such great production as this.
musically, it's just great. lyrically, it's potent - i can't tell you how much
i like the last four lines. wow. vocally, it's terrific.
you've got it going on and i'm very pleased that i stopped by and
caught this one. great work and i'm looking forward to more!
thank you! sorry for rambling! ;o) [ Reply to This ]
SHAH! &mdash 01/29/06 - 04:55:48 PM
Boy, do you ever sound like good-old GS here. You make me ill, this is
your best production yet and if I ever give you hell for tweaking what I
think is a finished song again, just direct me here to prove it's a good
idea. You did a wonderful job of stripping out the extraneous stuff
from the other version and focusing the listener on your voice and the
lyrics. This is a hit song, if I ever heard one, PIe, although I haven't
quite worked out yet where my spoken word bit should go... :-) [ Reply to This ]
favorite &mdash 01/29/06 - 05:25:49 PM
The first version was so great. I guess this is even better though I have to
say I can't remember all the details of the first to recognize the changes
without your description. This is SO damn good. Masterpiece. Deserves
every bit of complimentary commenting it gets. No nits at all from me. [ Reply to This ]
Fantastic &mdash 01/29/06 - 05:51:53 PM
This is fantastic. Really. Love the intro - everything sounds fantastic -
especially vocals and guitar. Great stuff! High vote and downloaded. [ Reply to This ]
the original sucks &mdash 01/29/06 - 07:48:11 PM
compared to this one. like this version much better. cleaner, louder, more
focused. although you were doing some very cool guitar stuff in the
previous version i don't miss the solo in this one. drums sound great. i
love the chord progressions and the varied sections, especially the pink
floyd/jellyfish type outro.
Rock Onward! [ Reply to This ]
man, pie &mdash 01/29/06 - 08:09:48 PM
you make GREAT recordings!!! So fat and full and energetic. You ain't
kidding around with this stuff. I don't know how you get it any better.
that is also the coolest little guitar solo....
and as a father of a teenage girl...jeez you nail it!
deepest bows!!!
z [ Reply to This ]
Pie and elveneyes... &mdash 01/29/06 - 09:09:15 PM
...a dual barrel shotgun of well produced rock... great melodies
and lyrics... nice artwork, too [ Reply to This ]
Well-Terned &mdash 01/29/06 - 09:38:42 PM
Splendidly done, Pie. Very well messed with and I believe the refinements
make a huge difference from the original... but in pleasingly subtle ways
that make this version far more communicative, effective and artful. This
is worthy musical craftsmanship.
Although I would personally like to see you pursue a career in the
diplomatic service... if that should fail (as it must), I hope you'll hang in
there with your music. If it gets much better than this and your other
work, I'm afraid you won't have much choice. --- joe [ Reply to This ]
hell yeah !! &mdash 01/29/06 - 10:40:04 PM
im loving this tune !!got alot of great elements here. good job on the
recording. the only thing that sound odd to me is the drums, the snare
seems like it needs something. but hell !! awesome work overall !! [ Reply to This ]
nice &mdash 01/30/06 - 04:16:58 AM
Really nice clear vocals and acoustics. Sounds simple and clean, nice work
:) [ Reply to This ]
nice &mdash 01/30/06 - 04:17:02 AM
Really nice clear vocals and acoustics. Sounds simple and clean, nice work
:) [ Reply to This ]
Liked it &mdash 01/30/06 - 07:07:39 AM
I was going to upload someof my stuff but I am having second thoughts now. Scoring is intimidating. Great vocals..Shure58a is just a dynamic mic if I am not mistaken? [ Reply to This ]
Liked it &mdash 01/30/06 - 07:14:38 AM
you are not mistaken about the Shure 58
although i have migrated to a Rode NT1-A (condenser) and my next tune
uses that.
and don't worry about uploading your stuff - just go right on ahead. most
people here are cool. but watch out for SlimGirlFat - she'll want to
collaborate.
---
Daphna's not the only one who loves her Mac. I love my Mac too ;-) [ Reply to This ]
Liked it &mdash 01/31/06 - 07:32:36 PM
shhhhh,
don't tell everyone that....
heh heh
Slimmie
---
"I am not young enough to know everything." [ Reply to This ]
Of course... &mdash 01/30/06 - 07:29:34 AM
this song is incredibly well put together, Top-notch production Really sweet singing, cool composition. cool guitars. Your guitar sound is really nice, I like that. I wonder if you record direct. I'm curious about your gear and recording method.
Lyrics: Yawn.....cliche, predictable [ Reply to This ]
Of course... &mdash 01/30/06 - 07:35:21 AM
Fabulous Texture &mdash 01/30/06 - 08:29:55 AM
Comfortable, Super Competent, Imagination and Image Painting Start-To-
Stop. Fine momentum and Build. Not a wasted (nevermind missed) note.
FLAT-OUT PRO: Both Content and Present.
Humbly Submitted,
rtc
Have to track down the Orig., now. [ Reply to This ]
Writing on the go &mdash 01/30/06 - 09:24:28 AM
Whoah - you certainly grabbed me during the first seconds. Great
chord progression and excellent vocals!
Ah - ooh - drums come in, now. Very crisp and cool. Awesome sound
to everything! Very full and lush.
Nice lyrics, as well. This sounds really pro.
Time for the breakdown. Nice change of mood - very cool.
Wha...is it over? Oh, never mind.
Very calm and smooth now - again, fantastic vocals!
...another fake ending! Gorgeous.
Ok, now it must be over. Ok, it is.
Fantastic track, man - can't hear anything I don't like.
Awesome!
Like Boris said: "sorry for rambling" :) [ Reply to This ]
Excellent &mdash 01/31/06 - 02:24:19 PM
My favorite song from you.
I loved the original, but this new mix is really outstanding. I like the new
intro very much.
the whole production is outstanding..
top marks
Slimmie
[ Reply to This ]
song for love &mdash 01/31/06 - 05:08:54 PM
solid rock song &mdash 02/01/06 - 05:54:59 AM
Pie - thanks for the email alerting me that you just put this song up.
Wonderful production of the vocals - I love the subtle reverb/delay for depth.
The drums sound great - BFD really sounds like a hell of a product. That snare has a heck of a lot of snap and pop to it and the kick has enough character to carry the rhythm along.
Like the guitar tones as well - I use Amplitube and find it to be a great little program. Loved the little distorted guitar break where the rest of the instruments drop out.
Only thing I didn't get in the song was the breakdown muted VanHalen style guitar riff, it seemed kinda out of place, although I did like the reprise of the clean guitar into the "someday" part...
oh, and.... Holy crap - G5 QUAD! Rock on! That baby must smoke! [ Reply to This ]
As others have said, this is a pro effort for certain. &mdash 02/01/06 - 06:16:58 AM
I love the chorus and the guitar breaks best I think, as well as the outro.
Ok, I like it all. And the vocals are so up front, not at the expense of the
music bed. That's the most difficult thing for me in using all this digital
stuff, mixing the vocals to the leap out and grab you, while maintaining a
powerful mix below them. You do a fantastic job with that. I will use this
as a referenece next time I mix down. [ Reply to This ]
Definitely a hit! &mdash 02/01/06 - 08:00:15 AM
This could be on any radio station (well maybe not those metal ones)
anywhere. I never caught the original version, but somehow after hearing
this one, i don't think i'm missing out. This one is fabulous.
Hands down, one of the best MOR rock tunes I've heard here on MacJams.
Someone sign that boy! Great music, great lyrics, great singing, great
production. Completely worthy of the high marks it's receiving.
d. [ Reply to This ]
Universally good &mdash 02/01/06 - 06:56:56 PM
One of the best tunes I've heard dealing with daddy's little girl - sentimental, but really edgy by way of the poetry in the lyrics and the absolute rockin' arrangement. I love your voice and the backing vox - the drums have this Van Halen intensity, and the guitars tapdance on the line between pop and harder textures - a delightful dance, really. The production is top-notch and melodically, you really take this song, which could've easily fallen into familiar territory, into surprising directions that are super-tasty - love the minor turns and colorful licks that are scattered all around. What's not to love about this tune? An epic tune - you're huge, man. [ Reply to This ]
simig &mdash 02/01/06 - 08:52:18 PM
Great production &mdash 02/01/06 - 09:54:17 PM
Great lyrics, too. Very accessible tune - even for classical types like me,
this was worthy of a second listen. Definite skills displayed here! [ Reply to This ]
Polished, professional & precise &mdash 02/01/06 - 10:33:25 PM
to add to above, you have fantastic vocal control! I had to stop myself
from reaching to grab my lighter to hold up at the end. :-) *applause*
from over here! when are you going on tour? [ Reply to This ]
Are you being pitch corrected? &mdash 02/02/06 - 04:19:46 AM
No matter, it sounds great and has a wonderful flavor... if you're not
being pitch corrected and that's your natural voice, you are dead on!
You've got licks that blow my mind away. You know that showing off is
just annoying, but you pull out some wonderful squeals from the ol' gitty.
And here's something else. You sound so familiar, but like nothing else
out there. "Hey, have you heard Pie?" "No, what does he sound like?" "Uh, I
don't know, but it sounds great!"
That's you man, great job! [ Reply to This ]
fab &mdash 02/03/06 - 01:22:26 AM
Really good stuff. No wonder the high rating. Your chord changes are
very interesting. You whole propduction and performance are top
notch! Great stuff! [ Reply to This ]
Like it all way through &mdash 02/03/06 - 12:10:11 PM
I like this song all way through. Much have been said already, but I
especially want to add how digged your way of playing with "pauses" ... to
play those short moments of silence that contains so much music.
And the lyrics of course is just so ... can't see how it possible could
become any better...
[ Reply to This ]
impressive outing &mdash 02/03/06 - 03:52:30 PM
I think ..... &mdash 02/03/06 - 07:42:07 PM
41(and growing) downloads ... and 25 (and growing) fans in a few short days speaks for itself ... what can I add that hasnt already been said ... solid tune ! [ Reply to This ]
Great JOB! &mdash 02/04/06 - 10:19:10 AM
This is really excellent. Lots of ambitious musical ideas in here. Really
enjoyed everything about the song. Adore the bridgework. Looking
forward to hearing more! kelli [ Reply to This ]
Okay I'll be your fan &mdash 02/04/06 - 06:45:10 PM
As close to perfection as possible &mdash 02/05/06 - 07:50:32 AM
good craft &mdash 02/11/06 - 03:14:10 PM
really enjoyed this. strong melody good job with everything. added it
to my fav's..thanks for sharing [ Reply to This ]
Very nice! &mdash 02/12/06 - 06:50:36 PM
Insightful improvements &mdash 03/07/06 - 08:14:28 AM
Wonderful use of passing harmonies, layered stylings. I dug the entire
first 2/3s immensely. The fade to a different tempo / different song
made me feel like I had been faded into a different song (after the
breakdown); maybe something more like the very cool transition into "and
you sing" stanza would have worked better in my ears. But top notch
quality, writing, thoughtfulness. By the way, a tern migrates further than
any other bird, from arctic to antarctic, and would be a cool metaphor;
why didn't you use it in the lyrics? (Maybe you did = A very cool title.)
And why the Holstein? (I love milk!) Ah, the enigmatic quality you weave
into your stuff is a thrill. I have always appreciated the prophet asking
questions instead of providing answers. [ Reply to This ]
Insightful improvements &mdash 03/07/06 - 05:13:41 PM
I spent a bit of time considering the title of this piece. Looks like you've done a
bit of research yourself. Perhaps the title is too subtle for most?
:-)
Thanks for the feedback
---
I find your lack of faith disturbing [ Reply to This ]
This is real songcaft!!! &mdash 03/18/06 - 11:57:32 AM
Seriously... this song does what songs are supposed to do... Feel
things on a gut level...not to mention how skillfully it is performed...
I'm new to this sight... you are my first on the favorite list.... did you
really get that vocal sonud with a shure 58
I'm going back to listen again!!!
great work [ Reply to This ]
Great! &mdash 10/28/06 - 10:53:55 AM
nice &mdash 12/05/06 - 05:21:28 PM
Awesome mate. Not listened to this one before. listened to the Arctic MOnkeys album just before this and I'm sure I can hear a bit of your liking coming through on this, especially the drums. Lovin' the guitar screams :-) DT anyone?! [ Reply to This ]
You rock like cake... I mean Pie! &mdash 12/08/06 - 01:35:46 PM
Dude, you are so freakin great! Why don't you have a giant record deal! You should be touring the world and coming to P-Town any day. Your stuff is so much fresher than everything else out there...
Damn boy! [ Reply to This ]
Yo &mdash 04/05/07 - 09:09:19 PM
I got a 19 year old daughter(tamdevine225...here on MJs) and two more an 8 and three yr old. So this song realy hits home as i see it has for others. Not only the lyric but the sound reminds me of the era that is her.
You have a great skill ....or ten. The song writing,the total sound, the singing, the playing, the arrangment, the love, the insperation, the tec stuff, the love did i say the stops the dynamics the love i'll stop now i think u get the idea......
love it man
listened over and over like i did when i was a kid...
my brother always reminds me of how i listened to 'The Immigrent Song' a million times when Zep three came out and to this day it rocks my world.
This song is a one in a million.
Thanks for putting it up
all grown up....so many emotions........all the reasons to love music all wrapped up nice and neat [ Reply to This ]
great &mdash 06/11/07 - 11:35:13 PM
no kids, so I'll have to trust you on the content, but the song has hooks to spare, great production and is just totally fun. Great work.
Philip [ Reply to This ]
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song for starters, the lyrics are particularly meaningful as a parent who
has been through the teenage daughter years! Love the tones on the
guitar, and your playing is just right on this - some very original
stylistic pieces. To me this is something I'd expect to hear on the radio
(on a good day) - shame about the solo going, although there's so
much good stuff happening on the guitar that it perhaps doesn't
matter. Nice bass lines. What did you use for the drum programming?
Vox excellent. AND it's about "the wisdom of age" - can't miss with
me.
Love it!
Neil
[ Reply to This ]