Actually, Joe, no umbrage taken, I was genuinely trying to understand why
you see these as sketches rather than songs and trying to understand
specifically what you felt could be done to take these from "sketch" to "song."
You say explore the ideas musically and I'm wondering what you envision. I'm
a very inexperienced songwriter and often find what you have to say
interesting as well as easier to understand than other people's explanations.
I thought Song of this World was done, but then you got your hands on it and
I saw that what you added did enhance the song's original concept and I think
it was definitely an excellent decision to expore that one further. I know you
saw something there that could be brought out with "more" rather than "less",
so I think you're highly qualified to talk about when it's time to go further.
Obviously, I disagree with you that adding more to the songs is necessary,
but I'm very interested to know what you feel further exploration would offer
the music. I'm looking for a conversation and I'm sorry if my previous
comments felt as though I was telling you off (not my intent). I feel that
keeping these songs minimal adds a specific kind of dimension to them that
might be lost if they were made larger or longer or different (in a way I don't
understand, exactly, so that's why I asked). It would change the art, in a
sense. A Raymond Carver story is not a William Faulkner story and it's as
much because of the artistic choices as the difference in the person doing the
writing.
I guess I look at what jonx does, musically and lyrically and I see someone
who is very much in control of all the elements. It seems to be his intention to
work in miniature, a conscious artistic choice by someone who has done so
repeatedly over the last year.
I agree I may have gotten passionate about the idea that I do see these as
songs rather than sketches, but that wasn't out of umbrage, just that my
brain tends to take an idea and likes to blurt things out. This discussion
reminds me of the debate in the fiction world in the '80's over "slice-of-life"
stories that didn't have a standard plot or epiphany, but just showed a
moment in the life of a character or place. Many people argued that these
vignetttes weren't really stories at all, many people felt otherwise (guess
which group I was in :-) ).
You absolutely made it clear that you enjoy and appreciate jonx's work. I
don't feel that you were putting his songs down because of their brevity. I'm
genuinely trying to say that I think the decision to focus on ordinary things,
small moments, saying just what he wants to say is just that, a decision,
rather than something that is just happening and that it might take away to
add more but I'm interested to know what you envision, because well...I'm
interested. (I'm a dork).
I apologize that my comments put you on the defensive. I see you as one of
the most knowledgeable people here, as well as one of the most generous
about sharing what you know. I think it's possible that my request for more
explanation may have felt like I was trying to pin you against the side of the
webpage and justify yourself, when really, I just want to extract some more of
what you've got in that noggin.
I'm wondering if we should move this discussion to the forum, though?
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have such a sense of sound and rhythm with your word choice and
your lyrics act as the primary instrument in your songs. I've always
enjoyed that you don't use traditional song structures, I think
sometimes you use poetry forms, which is a nice way to side-step ye-
olde-verse-chorus-verse, but still keep a corral around the lyrics.
You've written some wonderful half-rhymes here, man/understands,
keep it/needed, the assonance in hurt/learned. What's always so
amazing to me about your music is that everything is so beautifully
done, with care and thought behind it, but the song, the music, the
emotion are never overshadowed by technique.
What you know serves what you want to say. How often does that
happen?
This is another beautiful jonx song. The line "I sit and watch as you
undress...and I see all the love you've ever needed-but it's nothing we
possess," is so minimal, my favorite in the song.
Thank you so much for posting your music here. Your songs are truly
something to look forward to playing again and again.
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