You had a ball putting this together, didn't you. Despite the lyrics and theme, I heard the joy contained in the effort. As depression as they are, I quite liked the lyrics. I like depressing.

I did find the instrument choices and final mix off, however. There is a tinny sound to the product which goes against the heaviness of the lyrics. It sounded like tracks and sounds produced by a Radio Shack keyboard, unfortunately.

Some suggestions:
1. Use a more rock sounding drum track/loop from GB2.
2. Turn the staccato synth sounds right from the beginning into longer notes.
3. Support the whole thing with a bass line.

I liked your vocal recording work.

Keep having fun. And I look forward to your future posts.

[ Reply to This ]

Thank you so much for the feedback. I actually did have a great time working
on this. I was pleasantly surprised that you could tell. I don't expect to come
anywhere near the veterans that I have heard on this website, but hopefully
with suggestions such as yours I may find some improvement.

With regard to the drums, I have decided to stay away from loops altogether
in my music, meaning that they are a creation of my own through iDrum.
Unfortunately, I know nothing at all about drumming. How could I make it
sound more like a "rock" loop? Honestly I am completely in the dark. I just
experiment until i find something i like ;).

I was interested in your comment on the synths. While I cannot vouch for the
one that I have, it is Midi and thus all of the instruments are Garage band
Instruments with various effects. How can I get a better sound?

As for mixing. . lol. Again, I know nothing. I just tweaked it until I thought it
sounded good. Any specific suggestions?

I guess this post asks more questions then I intended it too, but if anyone has
the time I'd love to hear more feedback.

Thanks again for the listen.

[ Reply to This ]

this is a wonderful first post and great jumping off point.
I agree, you can tell it was fun to produce!
Keep it up, I got my eye on you

[ Reply to This ]

thanks mandi. I liked yours too!


[ Reply to This ]

You're not Peruvian!

�S�?

[ Reply to This ]

lol. thats funny, considering you know nothing about me but what i have posted
on this site.

[ Reply to This ]

nice beats and such... it all works together well!

i'm not sure what this is about to you, but to me it's about drugs!

nice voice, too - fits really well in this style.

keep 'em coming!

[ Reply to This ]

thanks for the nice comments.

About the drugs. . Im not sure if you were kidding or not but the interpretation
made me smile. I love hearing what people think about the meaning of my
work, whether it be music, writing, poetry, art., etc.

You just made my day.

[ Reply to This ]

no, i wasn't kidding... that's what i took from it.

so that's what it meant to me... i also enjoy hearing what people think my stuff's
about, although people rarely even guess.

i try to write stuff so that the meaning is clear to me, but it's ambiguous enough
that anyone can take something personal from it.

guess you do too!

[ Reply to This ]

lol. . . yup. thats exactly how i feel. how fun.

Thanks again for the listen!

[ Reply to This ]

The melody is attractive along with your singing voice. The mix and
instrumentation need to be built into something more substantial.
Cheers

[ Reply to This ]

The melody is attractive along with your singing voice. The mix and
instrumentation need to be built into something more substantial.
Cheers

[ Reply to This ]

thanks for listening! It took me while to finally post a song but im glad you gave
it a listen. Im sure we'll speak again.

As for your kind criticism. . i agree that it is very simple. and somewhat
repetitive. I will stand by it though because I created it intentionally that way
and I strongly believe in staying true to the moment of creation. I listened to it
on repeat as i fell asleep that night and the mood that it created as it waxed and
waned was quite special to me. Sigh. . . ive always been the sentimental type i
guess. . .

Thanks again!

[ Reply to This ]

Your voice ranges from lilting to oppressed in this interesting
exploration of emotional pain. However, I'm not a big fan of that
fluttering vox effect. It takes away from the credibility of the
narrative. As already mentioned, you could work in more legato
(connected, flowing notes). And some bottom end instruments or
percussion can help drive the high end and balance it out. The
high percussion gets on my nerves after a while. But the song
does have a wholeness and purpose. I can see some potential with
it. All-in-all, a good concept and certainly a great start at music
self-production. Keep on!

[ Reply to This ]

I greatly appreciate the listen and the valuable comments. So far i am seeing
a trend in what people think, and believe me I have taken the advice to heart.

As for the vox effects, do you think that a clean "un-doctored" vocal track
would be better suited for the mood? Thats the impression i got from your
comment, but I was just wondering if you could clarify. Also, as I stated
above in reply to another post, any solid drum advice .. specifics? I know
you said you didn't care for the high pitched drums (hats and snares). .
should i throw in toms? more powerful kicks? I'd really love to hear any more
input you have in that realm.

Again, thank you for listening and sharing your experience with me!


[ Reply to This ]

I like the vocal as well as the bass. I'd be intersted where the inspiration
came for the lyrics. Everything fits well however I'd pay money for record
like this, it's far superior to alot that I hear on the radio. Good Stuff.

[ Reply to This ]

Thanks for the great compliments! I think I have a long way to go before I'll be
making any records but ill be sure to let you know! lol.

As for the inspiration for this piece, I was inspired to write it both for a dear
friend of mine and from my own experiences as well. I don't like to say much
more than that simply because I like to let people relate to it without any bias.

Again, thanks for listening!

[ Reply to This ]

...but, it was still well put together. Really liked the vocals and the
phrasing. In some spots the vocals are a bit up front, but not too bad.
Reminds me of that new band Chromeo.

[ Reply to This ]

I'll have to check out Chromeo .. ive never heard of them before. I appreciate
your feedback, especially since I have so much respect for you as a musician. As
always, I will be wandering through your extensive collection of music.

Thank you for taking the time to listen and comment!

[ Reply to This ]

For a debut post, this is leagues ahead of the freshman learning curve.
I like the minimalist treatment of the melody line and you wisely
avoided to try too much too soon in your first attempt at arranging.
Already I can sense a promising musician with your ability to produce a
melody with a catchy pop.RnB hook. Your natural voice is more than
just listenable... in fact it has a pleasant N'Sync quality to it if only you
let go a little bit more. (I don't sound anything like a boybander so that
comment does not reflect any bias). The radio-megaphone effect is
ok, but a little too extended and overall loses its appeal... keep it in
restricted areas of the song and it becomes an interesting novelty
feature. Most debut songs here are passable, but this one, I have to
say, is downloadable for repeated listening. High marks from me for a
bold-- and really good-- start.

[ Reply to This ]

If that N'Sync comment rankles you, I'll have to choose a different pop/RnB
singer to compare you with. I meant that in a good way.

---
The lion roars, the eagle soars.

[ Reply to This ]

you have no idea how nice it was to read your comment. i never expected such
kind words and encouragement. . I will be posting another song relatively soon.
. now i have to make sure that I can live up to any virtues you all have seen in
my music.

Thanks a million for the feedback!

[ Reply to This ]

This Idea is really cool. I think if you give it a Nine Inch Nail feel it would
kick ass. Just my opinion. Hey do you want to work together on song just
for kicks. I can't really sing just play a lot bass some rythum guitar. Any
how keep writing you've got a lot of potential.

[ Reply to This ]

Thanks for checking it out. I'm definitely up for a collab. I've actually never
donw one on Macjams before. Just get at me and we'll work on something.

[ Reply to This ]

This was my favorite, from the simple but effective beat, to the soft depressing filtered vocals. Right up my alley. keep em coming.

[ Reply to This ]

twas my first song, so its nice to know I did something right with it. thanks for taking the time to check them out!!

[ Reply to This ]