great singing, nice lyrics, great emotion and subject.

I want more stanzas and maybe turn the third verse into a chorus.

Production is raw, but you know that.

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i personally think the 2nd stanza would make a good chorus. a good demo, this can be a great song. i think it could be expanded on a bit more. like stated your voice is good.

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cool concept, great words. clever composition

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but she doesn't have a lot to say

again your have much to say, with such economy.... you leave some
mystery to, I like... still listening... I would like to hear this produced
more seriously... what are you using to record (mikes? prreamps?ect.)

thanx

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Tom Stoppard's "The Real Thing" is one of the greatest plays ever written.
I can see why you chose it for your wonderful unadorned apropos song
art. How many actresses do I know that this fits? The movement of the
chords against the strong melody is wonderful, and I love the rise and fall
of the lyrical lines (I am a huge fan of your sound), but I thought a
dissonance at the lyric "day became" didn't work, in my ears. There is
something not enough about this small jewel, since it deals with a
category of normal stereotyping. It needs a special detail to make it the
level of crystalline art that most of your other tracks achieve, I think. But
precious, nonetheless.

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