...but it sounds like it might be too low for your voice. You mentioned you
sang it an octve lower. Was that due to range or mood? It seems to me
like taking it up a few steps would better suite your voice.

Still, I really like the song. It's got a nice easy feel to it musically. The
lyrics work really well. Kind of a dreamy, moody feel. The production is
nice. The balance is good. Everything is nice and smooth. I enjoyed it.

[ Reply to This ]

thanks for stopping by to comment .. I really appreciate the feedback and I'm glad you like the song . Yes, I sure ended up at the very bottom of my vocal range here and regret not recording the guitar & bass tracks in a higher key. My usual practice is to lay down all the instrumental tracks before working on the lyrics and attempting to sing them ..... so, it's more of a pain to re-record in a diferrent key. A change in my GB strategy seems in order and from now on I ought to check earleir on that the key is appropriate for my range. I hope to post a revision in the future.
cheers,
Phil

[ Reply to This ]

This song is emotionally gripping, has a plaintive melody to it and the
lyrics are expressive. I think you have a fine voice, but it seems
drowned out and droning rather than coming out fully. It's ok to sing
one octave lower, but I guess you have to up the volume on the vocals
to compensate for the lost power. The other solution is to go up a few
notes higher on the pitch. You seem very capable of reaching higher
notes but the baseline pitch was set a little too low to allow your voice
to fully express itself.

The vocal recording quality seems a little wanting ( a little too far and a
little too raw) and I imagine this can be re-recorded with greater clarity
and conviction. The harmonies somehow make it a little more
interesting. The strings in the background add a little more mystery to
it, but somehow falls short of a full layering of instrumental sounds.

Altogether, a very commendable song but i think you may consider re-
recording this in the near future to more fully realize and appreciate its
great potential. This song, with its longing tone and gentle rhythm, is
quite good to listen to on a contemplative evening...



[ Reply to This ]

This song is emotionally gripping, has a plaintive melody to it and the
lyrics are expressive. I think you have a fine voice, but it seems
drowned out and droning rather than coming out fully. It's ok to sing
one octave lower, but I guess you have to up the volume on the vocals
to compensate for the lost power. The other solution is to go up a few
notes higher on the pitch. You seem very capable of reaching higher
notes but the baseline pitch was set a little too low to allow your voice
to fully express itself.

The vocal recording quality seems a little wanting ( a little too far and a
little too raw) and I imagine this can be re-recorded with greater clarity
and conviction. The harmonies somehow make it a little more
interesting. The strings in the background add a little more mystery to
it, but somehow falls short of a full layering of instrumental sounds.

Altogether, a very commendable song but i think you may consider re-
recording this in the near future to more fully realize and appreciate its
great potential. This song, with its longing tone and gentle rhythm, is
quite good to listen to on a contemplative evening...



[ Reply to This ]

sorry for the double post... macjams is just so slow to acknowledge....

---
The lion roars, the eagle soars.

[ Reply to This ]

Leon, many thanks for your careful listen and detailed critique … much appreciated advice for a novice songwriter like me (I think this is only my fifth or sixth song). I’m really on a steep learning curve with my vocals and do find this the most daunting and difficult aspect of the whole process. Still it’s very rewarding that you think the song itself works and has good potential …. This will spur me on to have a go at re-recording in a different key (or trying again to sing an octave higher). …. hope to post a revision soon.
Cheers, Phil


[ Reply to This ]

this is nice. It kind of cradles and gently rocks the emotions. Going low on
the vocals was genius. Wow...I just got to the background synth...so
appropos. Well done Phil. Very well done!

"Oliver wants more!"

[ Reply to This ]

Thanks Micheal for your kind words of encouragement ... glad you liked it!
cheers, phil

[ Reply to This ]

Very nice tune...I like the production and the synthy parts that come
in...the baritone vocals and the lilting sounds remind me of
Lambchop..who are one of my fave bands. Thanks for sharing
Steve

[ Reply to This ]

thanks for the comment steve! I'm not sure I've heard any Lambchop so I must check em out. cheers, phil

[ Reply to This ]

Wonderful lyrics, and a great hook. This is a jewel of a song. Sorry I
missed it when it was first released. There could be more hi EQ to the
mix to give it a better edge, to bring out some of your enunciations. But
a wonderful song.

[ Reply to This ]

Hey, thanks a lot for stopping by to comment ... it's really rewarding to find such positive comments on both song structure and lyrics. I'll try tweaking the EQ as you suggest.
cheers, phil

[ Reply to This ]