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Description
This is a jazzy little pop song. It's definitely still a work in progress. But I've been working on it for too long and have lost perspective and objectivity. I'm looking for some feedback on how to end this thing properly and also on the the instrumentation. I'm not thrilled with the arrangement.
Any suggestions would be wonderful.
Cheers
Any suggestions would be wonderful.
Cheers
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Lyrics
What do you see when you look at the colour blue?
If I saw it through your eyes would it still be true?
What do you feel when you look into my eyes?
If I could only see you. Would you shed the disguise?
Through all the fury and tumble of colours
Have you a canvas? Can we be lovers?
Paint me a forest with minstrels and birds
And unicorns dancing amongst your words
And if trees could sing they would sound like clarinets
A big band sound, playing a jazzy set
But a single tree on a solitary hill
Would hum a bluesy melody to keep its heart still
As we walk through this foggy forest of desires
Can you hear the music that your presence inspires?
Yet I stand enraptured like that solitary tree
With my branches in flames that no one can see
And a fire is dancing through these streets of rain
Melting the ice that cages the pain
A warmth is rising up from the soil
A potion of desire is beginning to boil
At night I reach to feel the life that you breathe
The rising and falling - the melancholy underneath
I want to know the dreams that you are dreaming
And discover the truth of your visions steaming
In your mind do you see the colour blue?
Or hear the trills that only trees can do?
Do you feel the heat that threatens your heart?
Then live the love of my seductive art
If I saw it through your eyes would it still be true?
What do you feel when you look into my eyes?
If I could only see you. Would you shed the disguise?
Through all the fury and tumble of colours
Have you a canvas? Can we be lovers?
Paint me a forest with minstrels and birds
And unicorns dancing amongst your words
And if trees could sing they would sound like clarinets
A big band sound, playing a jazzy set
But a single tree on a solitary hill
Would hum a bluesy melody to keep its heart still
As we walk through this foggy forest of desires
Can you hear the music that your presence inspires?
Yet I stand enraptured like that solitary tree
With my branches in flames that no one can see
And a fire is dancing through these streets of rain
Melting the ice that cages the pain
A warmth is rising up from the soil
A potion of desire is beginning to boil
At night I reach to feel the life that you breathe
The rising and falling - the melancholy underneath
I want to know the dreams that you are dreaming
And discover the truth of your visions steaming
In your mind do you see the colour blue?
Or hear the trills that only trees can do?
Do you feel the heat that threatens your heart?
Then live the love of my seductive art
Sweet vocals and sentiment. Outside my taste, honestly, but I appreciate
your musicianship and soul. Cool piano sound and drums. I'd consider
replacing the clarinet with a sax to make it more contemporary and less
Benny Goodman. A vocal run at the end might give it a greater flourish.
Thanks for sharing!