haunting song, nice chord arrangement. nice playing. liked it. keep up good work, cheery

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nice adjective choice man thanks for listening

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well..... it did go on and on - shorter would've been nice
also.... i felt you missed some notes in as much as you didn't hit them
and... i wish i had heard more variation
but.... that being said....
you have a lovely voice and play nicely
let me know next time you upload - i will be interested to hear your work develop

remember - opinion is only subjective xox

and .... welcome to mj - if you enjoy it half as much as i do ... i will have enjoyed twice as much as you!!!!

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i think the vocals seem a little loud in the mic, i like the haunting style. getting caroline to watch you develop is great, she was my main drive to getting my vocals better. i'd like to hear the chorus higher and filled with emotion i'd like to hear you change volume and notes to set the verses apart from the chorus a bit more. your style is one i enjoy, and will love to hear it get flushed out and fine tuned.

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after talking to you in the chat, I was expecting some screamy-hardcore-mayhem and instead I hear a melancholy ballad. Your voice has a nice depth to it. I think the song has some good points, but you're using the same melody throughout, so there is little differentiation between the chorus and the verse parts. This makes the song seem longer than it is. I would try to mix up the guitar parts a little more to break up each section of the song. You've got the components of a good song here, you just need to do some editing to bring it all together. Nice first effort!

Mason

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I agree with alot of the comments here already. Namely, this song has so much potential. I love the guitar riff and the lyrics. The haunting dissonance. The best line is "Until Silence be your treat" because of the distinct delivery.

With that said, more variation in the lyrics would do this song a great service. Also, a cleaner vocal production would help. Theres some pops with your harder consonents, a problem that can be solved either by practicing a gentler delivery on your p's and c's and the like or getting a pop filter to keep the rush of air from hitting the mic.\

Overall its a great song that a few adjustments would really bring out. keep it up!

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yeah this one is REALLY old. i have improved greatly since then. i have a pop screen now and have upgraded my mic situation. i doubt ill ever come back to this song but i might. i mean WHO KNOES!! thanks for commenting.

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