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Leaving


by

Gav

 Genre: Acoustic Rock
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Description
A mate of mine broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago and have been getting back together and breaking up since. Its a long distance thing which makes it very messy too. Anyway... he wrote these lyrics about the situation and I put them into the above song! He hasn't heard it yet so any recommended tweeking suggestions welcome before I hand it to him!
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Lyrics
and so your leaving, yet you stay.
and so I stay, yet leave.
and independent movement escapes,
while distance sneers at an uncertain space.

CHORUS
and so your leaving, so know,
in your place, your journey the source.
a swollen stream soothe, in which I shall bathe,

and so your leaving, for the love of a land.
warm wind whispers and sun shines, with you.
my wish, your soul to ease.
and the wind and the sun promise peace.

Song Stats
Hits: 1140
Comments: 20
Fans: 2
Plays: 147
Downloads: 43
Votes: 13
Uploaded: May 28, 2006 - 09:47:36 AM
Last Updated: May 28, 2006 - 09:47:36 AM Last Played: Aug 29, 2009 - 09:07:43 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

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Comments
moorlandt said 1276 days ago (May 29th, 2006)
Just a great and unpretentious song
I listened with a lot of pleasure to this track. It's so unpretentious and charming. A bit too short for me (and that's meant as a compliment), so I would like to hear this worked out in a longer track, 'cause it certainly has a lot of potential.
Walter
Check out my latest song called boundaries
musichead said 1273 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
good song
Its a good song.. I voted 8 across the board. Good vocals and melody
Check out my latest song called Lets Take a Holiday
Gav said 1273 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
good song
Thanks Musichead - wasnt trying to pimp my tune in the forum btw but moreso
making a point! Cheers for the comment though and bumping it up to 6 which is
about right! Its a little less 'lost' now!
Check out my latest song called Understand
ValleyPastor said 1273 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
A good tune overall
I like the crisp accoustic guitar, and your vocals fit the mood well
Check out my latest song called Understanding
Gav said 1273 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
A good tune overall
Thanks ValleyPastor. It's about right now an dthanks for lending an ear!
Check out my latest song called Understand
said 1273 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
Nice!
Looks like bombed in drive-by for sure! Bummer, for a nice song like this one... I love the guitar with your melody, and your vocal is right on. Thanks for posting this.

. - Harold
Gav said 1273 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
Nice!
Ha ha - thats funny - 'drive-by'. Who's to stop him/her coming back and
boming me again. Maybe I insulted someone? Who knows. Thanks for the vote
and post Harold!
Check out my latest song called Understand
said 1273 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
Nice!
Oh well, you can only vote once (under each user name :-)
J.A.Stewart said 1273 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
Tweaks?
It's a nice melody and a good vocal, Gav.

But I think it's a somewhat uneven performance... the last part of the
song sounds a good deal more fluid than the first part. Here's why...

I think there's some awkward phrasing --- both lyrically and musically
--- in the first part that you could easily tweak. I would also suggest
that you either tone down the volume of the electric guitar arpeggio, or
redo it on acoustic guitar. I think it sounds somewhat out of place in
the context of this gentle acoustic song.

My only other suggestion would be to rethink the abrupt ending, or at
least end it abruptly on a second or third repetition of that final line. ;-)
Check out my latest song called A Night @ Neverland
Gav said 1272 days ago (June 2nd, 2006)
Tweaks?
You hit the nail on the head with the vocals alright! I knew parts were a bit
uneven. Its kind of hard to change the ‘awkward phrasing’ in the song though
the same thing occurred to me. It was a poem written by a mate and I would
prefer to be faithful to it but I’ll look into and see if I can iron it out without too
much change.

The guitar is acoustic but with a filter on it. I’ll knock of the filter and see what it
sounds like. Thanks for your detailed attention J!!
Check out my latest song called Understand
renecalvo said 1273 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
4s
This is a good tune. I like how the base comes in and fills it out. Somebody must have bombed you. Did you leave a nasty comment on somebody elses tune? It might have been a revenge strike.
Check out my latest song called Firefly
Gav said 1272 days ago (June 2nd, 2006)
4s
Thanks –I agree with your bass comment – definitely fill it out –a strong part of
the song! I haven't left any nasty comments. Nasty comments are for the most
part unhelpful and I don’t do them. Maybe it was one I thought to be
‘constructive criticism’ and was read as a nasty comment. I will never know
Check out my latest song called Understand
renecalvo said 1272 days ago (June 2nd, 2006)
4s
oh yeah, well... that might have done it. you might have left some "constructive criticism" at the same moment somebody else left a really bad score and gotten somebody bent out of shape. Its like telling a mama she has an ugly baby. tread carefully.
Check out my latest song called Firefly
charliechen said 1272 days ago (June 1st, 2006)
Beautiful chorus
There have been several "drive-by"s lately. I've been to others' posts where there were bombs in the ratings.

This is a wonderful start of a song. The chorus I find particularly beautiful. The melody is perfect.

Your singing becomes more confident as the song progresses. This piece deserves a polish. Perhaps another take with the vocals, especially the first verse.

Well done.
Check out my latest song called Sparkles in a Lullaby
Gav said 1272 days ago (June 2nd, 2006)
Beautiful chorus
Thanks for the post! J.A Stewart says the same above which is very perceptive of
both of you because I am a bit unhappy with the beginning and thought the
strength of the song would lift that bit up. You kinda ‘honed’ into what was in
the back of my mind. I just need someone to say it – thanks and I’ll do what you
guys suggest and re-record the vocals.

Check out my latest song called Understand
Leon said 1271 days ago (June 2nd, 2006)
Love the Chorus!
I love the chorus part of this song, just because it sounds poignant and
pleading and the melody hooks you and reverberates in the mind even
after finishing the song.

The ending was a bit abrupt and kinda killed the drama that was
brewing from beginning. After the last chord was strummed and the
last lyric uttered, I felt like there was a sense of being hung up...like,
"that's it?" It was very good which is why I felt the song was too short
and deserved some extension. Also, you could be a little more
generous with lyrics. A great chorus deserves more verses. I had the
impression that you got lazy to think up more verses for this, but
maybe you had other intentions which got lost on me.

Inspite of the fact that there is room for improvement, I think it's a
remarkable song that I would consider to be one of my favorites for the
week.

I hope that will "un-lost" your song! :-) Speaking of drive-bye shitters,
someone dropped a few 4s and 5s on my latest song, too. I used to
take that seriously, but now I actually anticipate for that maniac to do it
again and again. (He did it about 5 times on one of my well-reviewed
songs actually, bombing it repeatedly within a one-hour span!) I think
he needs a way to vent his psychosis and I think my song helps him do
that. In a way, I am helping in his therapy. Hope that makes you feel
better. LOL!
Check out my latest song called The Nightingale (music and lyrics by Oceans)
said 1271 days ago (June 3rd, 2006)
Nice work!
I really like your vox and harmonies. Nice clean mix too. Kudos.

Be well!
said 632 days ago (March 3rd, 2008)
Great
A really great and peaceful song... Which i like a lot... Good vocals and guitar play... Thanks for sharing.... Your voice is great.... Good rhythm in the chorus....
saymme said 632 days ago (March 3rd, 2008)
8 )
Thanx so much for putting this as downloadable....man You SHOULD get CDz out there....or perhaps You have...? Your voice is SO GREAT.....
saymme said 584 days ago (April 20th, 2008)
Beauty....!(!)
Your lyrics are always are always high quality, this production too-as I've said before You sound very close with both vox&music! Awesome
fav dl - THANKYOU : )
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