This is really a great tune. Nice easy going chords and vocal melody. This could easily become a splendid tune with some work.
The drums are very monotone and a bit boring I must say. Put in a fatter basic drum and bring more variation to it. Some breaks might help as well. I also nearly hear the bass. Bring it up and put some rythm and picking in it. Also the guitars could use a lot more calories. Must admit that I'm not so impressed with the lead solo.
I do like the singing very much, especially in the chorus.
Once again, a very pleasing song basically, and certainly worthwile reworking. Hope you don't mind my honnest comments...
Cheers!
Walter

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Thanks Moorlant, your comments are very appreciated, and I agree with your
opinion on everything in fact. Yeah the guitar solo was just messing around at
the last minute and really doesn't fit in at all, and yeah the bass and drums need
variation. All to do. Thanks.

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I really dug that. I'm thinking The Cars, and that's a good thing. I'm
tapping my feet and bopping in my chair. As moorlandt said, the drums
would benefit from some work, some accents and fills would spice them
up. Maybe some heavier rhythm guitars in the later choruses to add a
dynamic between the first and second half. I like your vocals and the
lyrics too. Overall, I really enjoyed that, it just mostly needs better
production but you've already got a really good song to start with.

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I really enjoyed the simplicity of the song. Vocals are great also like the
backing vocals. Solo needs to be cleaned up back a little extra work this
will be a great song.

Ed

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I really enjoyed the simplicity of the song. Vocals are great also like the
backing vocals. Solo needs to be cleaned up back a little extra work this
will be a great song.

Ed

[ Reply to This ]

I really enjoyed the simplicity of the song. Vocals are great also like the
backing vocals. Solo needs to be cleaned up back a little extra work this
will be a great song.

Ed

[ Reply to This ]

I really enjoyed the simplicity of the song. Vocals are great also like the
backing vocals. Solo needs to be cleaned up back a little extra work this
will be a great song.

Ed

[ Reply to This ]

I really enjoyed the simplicity of the song. Vocals are great also like the
backing vocals. Solo needs to be cleaned up back a little extra work this
will be a great song.

Ed

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Keep it simple stupid(kiss) This is what my first band teacher told me.
He said this is the way to make a great straight to the point song.
Great tune man. I enjoyed it a lot.

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Ditto the previous comments concerning the level of the bass, the
overall impression of the guitar solo. Now specifics:

(1) Turn the initial guitar track (the first one we hear) into a "riff lead",
with increased level in the beginning. This will establish your rhythm
and more-or-less angry mood. Do not let this track degenerate into
mere chording, but rather use it to provide (reasonably loud) riffing
between your vocal verses/choruses. It should not be too hard to
transform your current, bare-bones chording into an even bones-barer
riff.

(2) This suggestion is less important. Try adding a more aggressive
backing vocal, or perhaps apply some distortion to the backing vocals.

(3) A wacky idea: How about a vocal track that shouts something like,
"Shot!" right after you say "oh oh o-oh" in the chorus? Just something
to make the shooting sound at least mildly violent.

(4) I would go for a major scale solo.

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They're great suggestions Texas, I agree with most of what you say about the
guitar sound, the lead is poxy (drunk) more anger needed def. Am working on it.
Thanks

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It's still a little rough, but I like it a lot.
Great voice.
Bye
Con

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Nice feel - I can see why people have suggested various ways of
improving this, but I think it sounds pretty good as is. Sure the bass
could be bigger in the mix and the drums could be improved - ditto
the solo. However there are bands making a good living with similar
songs. I like the lyrics and your voice suits this well. Definitely a Cars
feel. This could be remade into something quite special if you wanted
to.
Neil

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really enjoyed the lyrics of the song. Vocals are great so as the backing vocals. This is a great song. Professional

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Nice basic idea I agree with most of other comments especially the one about backing vocal shouting SHOT good idea. Guitar solo sounds like me when im pissed tho,some say even when im sober.But definetely a song to keep. Cheery

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Great sounds reminds me of u2's early stuff with cbgb's punk.Nice
job ,but kind a mellow at times.

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Great sounds reminds me of u2's early stuff with cbgb's punk.Nice
job ,but kind a mellow at times.

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This song is great as it is. Very cool.

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are damn fine. The instrumentation is simple and pleasing. There's
nothing wrong with any of it, but the drums wouldn't lose anything to
have some variation. The feel is nice late '70's punk. I likes.
-g

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kinda retro feel. loving the guitars. beat is solid. catchy chorus rounds
this out. this would make a kool video......nice job.

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kinda retro feel. loving the guitars. beat is solid. catchy chorus rounds
this out. this would make a kool video......nice job.

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Kinda talking heads vocals I reckon. I like the melody and lyrics. The bass needs to have more umph and the drums need a little more variance. Its a good little tune. The chorus does it for me! Watch the elec guitar tuning - a bit off in parts - not much though.

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