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Description:
This original melody idea was jotted down in October 2003 in Harmony Assistant, and I had written it thinking that someday I'd make it a real song with lyrics. While playing the tune on the computer, my daughter came in and said she liked it a lot. Then a very bad thing happened. I suddenly remembered that this software had "Virtual Singers" in it, and I could have the computer-synthesized voices sing the song, all I needed were some lyrics. So I told my daughter to wait just a moment, I would show her something funny, and I began typing in lyrics under the notes. Of course, they would just be placeholder words, not a real song, but it would show her what the computerized singer sounded like. For some twisted reason, the meter of the notes guided me to the first phrase "I want a grapefruit, really, badly". I quickly typed some more silly phrases that related to gardens and humorously shaped vegetables and saved it. Unfortunately, when I played this song, it triggered strange fits of laughter in her, which, 3 years later, she has still not recovered from. When I recently dusted this song off and made it the more serious piece "Sometimes" and asked her to listen to this new version, she was unable to hear it without giggling... the song had been permanently tainted in her brain, and will now always be the "Grapefruit Song".
So I offer you this warning. You may stop now, and just listen to the original "Sometimes" here, or you can listen to this older silly/demented version, and become infected too. Choose wisely, you cannot go back. If you are now stuck singing this, you can try Roxylee's antidote song here, it may help.
I have extracted the synthesized voices from Harmony Assistant and placed them in the better-sounding Garageband file of "Sometimes". I took Mike "KevMikWa" Watkins' great drums out of this version and instead used my simpler original drum track, since the drums aren't the focal point of this piece, the voices need to stand out. Thanks to Rob* and Roxylee... Rob* suggested the additional words "mommy" and "daddy" and a sped-up tempo, and he and Roxylee critiqued the final mix and photos.
The artwork is a Dali-esque photo I took in our back yard of "somebody" wanting citrus, really badly. There's a different photo I took that is embedded in the mp3 file itself.
Lyrics:
I want a grapefruit really badly
reallly bad
and a tater
I need grapefruit really badly
reallly bad
and a funny carrot
Chorus:
oh citrus
green stuff
fruits and
veggies..
I want grapefruit in my tummy
want it now
need some grape-fruit
oh my grapefruit in my tummy
want it now
need some right now (yes please)
(Chorus)
I need grapefruit in my mouth oh daddy
oo-oo-oo-ooh ah mommy
got-ta have my grapefruit
and a sour lemon lemon
give me grapefruit in my mouth oh daddy
oo-oo-oo-ooh ah mommy
gotta have my grapefruit
and a sour lemon lemon lemon lemon mm..
doo-be-doo
(Chorus)
la la la la grapefruit
dum dee doo doo doo doo tummy
right now...
ooh doo be doo be doo be doo doo dah
ooh yes
Hardware:
Macintosh dual 1Ghz G4, Hot Summer daze, cool Summer grapefruit, and a funny carrot.
Software:
Harmony Assistant composition software with Virtual Singer, Garageband 2, conversion to MP3 by "LAME" MP3 encoder.
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Feed the little robot !-) &mdash 08/13/06 - 12:37:11 AM
I imagine a shiny little machine rolling around and singing ...
Really funny mommy !
:D [ Reply to This ]
Hey, &mdash 08/13/06 - 07:03:45 AM
I can picture an alien spaceship entering California, and the little alien
boy is gazing out at all the windmills and is hungry after the long
journey. I'm still cracking up! [ Reply to This ]
Fun.... &mdash 08/13/06 - 03:39:04 PM
I can see why your daughter got a kick out of this. It had me laughing out
loud. I can see why she still giggles when she hears the melody. [ Reply to This ]
Unleashed on the world &mdash 08/13/06 - 04:04:31 PM
There's really something about this that draws you in. I can't say if it's the
portamento, the extra "la la"s, my affinity for the original, or maybe it's
just the image of drakonis' daughter falling out with laughter. I'm glad the
public has a chance to hear this one the way it was originally conceived!
This one even has elements I'd not heard ... I heard only a single singer,
and there were fewer words. Good times! [ Reply to This ]
Ha &mdash 08/13/06 - 06:38:11 PM
Very funny. I like synthesized voices. The *feeling* in the vocal
delivery is so real... your computer must have a highly advanced
sincerity simulator. Again you have a very distinctive smush of the sad
and ominous with the light and playful. [ Reply to This ]
Ha squared &mdash 08/14/06 - 12:34:24 PM
The virtual singer software is actually quite amazing, and a lot of fun to play
with. It's mostly to be used to get a quick rough draft of what a song would be
like with real singers, but the computer-ish quality of the strung-together
phonemes creates a synthetic alien sound that can be very humorous. But yes,
the portamento and vibratos and pronounciation (SAMPA) are quite advanced
compared to the old Macintalk days. Thanks for checking it out, I knew it would
tickle your inner geek :-)
ttfn,
Drakonis
---
The one with the most true friends wins!<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/23351">Sometimes - Magic Flute mix</a> [ Reply to This ]
Ha squared &mdash 08/14/06 - 02:06:05 PM
Heheh, it did tickle my inner geek. In the early 80's my dad was working on a
speech synthesis project at IBM, and I got to play with several state-of-the-
art speech synths (the Votrax sounded just like the computer in "War
Games"). I still like using Apple's speech (used for "SlimGirlThat" and
"Supertooth"), but nothing beats that cold mechanical voice talking about
purely human concerns... "I want a grapefruit in my tummy". Ha!
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Check out the <a href="http://www.thelostrecords.com/forh-artist.html">Fists of Righteous Harmony CD!</a> [ Reply to This ]
Childlike &mdash 08/15/06 - 08:03:13 AM
Whimsical, sweet, playful, childlike. Anything that brings smiles and good
cheer gets my vote. The doo-be-doo-be-doo parts are very cute. A
wonderful synthetic track to place between the serious slices of real fruit
life serves us. [ Reply to This ]
Childlike &mdash 08/15/06 - 06:00:33 PM
Thank you Tobin, for checking out the light-hearted whimsy. Well said,
message transmitted successfully... EOM.
ttfn,
Drakonis
---
The one with the most true friends wins!<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/23351">Sometimes - Magic Flute mix</a> [ Reply to This ]
Good Lord Drak! &mdash 08/17/06 - 02:14:58 PM
Hilariously surreal. S. Dali would have loved this. I smiled. I laughed. I
craved citrus. Very nicely produced. Love the virtual singers.
Be well!
Tea And Salmon: http://www.macjams.com/song/23644 [ Reply to This ]
Good Lord Drak! &mdash 08/17/06 - 05:54:18 PM
Thank you so much, and as our friend Cydniko would say, you have me grinning
really big now... thanks for checking it out and getting infected with citrus and
mosquitos. I had thought that citranella was a natural bug-repellent, but
Roxylee and I must be wrong, the song is too strong.
ttfn,
Drakonis
---
The one with the most true friends wins!<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/23351">Sometimes - Magic Flute mix</a> [ Reply to This ]
Great fruit &mdash 08/17/06 - 06:11:52 PM
omg, is your computer singing? (I love computers that sing!!!) That's a
really awesome idea. I was gonna have my computer rap over a track but I
never figured out a good way to do that. [ Reply to This ]
Great fruit &mdash 08/18/06 - 08:05:23 AM
Yup, it is singing! As far as rap goes, I can send you a one-line Applescript you
can add words to and run on your Mac, that will spit out an AIFF file of the
Macintalk computer voice saying whatever you want... that might be close
enough for rap. That's pretty easy, but not many people know how easy it is.
Maybe that's good... otherwise the world would be filled with HAL-drones.
ttfn,
Drakonis
---
The one with the most true friends wins!<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/23351">Sometimes - Magic Flute mix</a> [ Reply to This ]
Lots of fun! &mdash 08/22/06 - 01:33:51 PM
Lots of fun! This gave me and my son a nice time.
(Glad you made it because I have had fantasies of making a song with the
macOS speech, just to hear how it would be. Now I dont have to, this is
probably better than that! [ Reply to This ]
Lots of fun! &mdash 08/22/06 - 03:17:58 PM
Glad to put smiles on both your faces... this was a lot of fun to do initially, and
more fun to fix up and put into GB. Yes, this singing synthesizer is a LOT better
than MacInTalk, but it is still funny. Of course, now you cannot listen to the
serious one, because you will be singing the Grapefruit lyrics.
ttfn,
Drakonis
---
The one with the most true friends wins!<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/23351">Sometimes - Magic Flute mix</a> [ Reply to This ]
barmy!! barking!! &mdash 09/15/06 - 02:15:30 PM
mad as a box of chocolate frogs!!! i started smiling and moved swiftly onto laughing and oh!... there's that twingy thing again!! this piece is sooo appealing - thank you for waiting for me xoxoxo [ Reply to This ]
Hehehehehehe! &mdash 09/16/06 - 05:53:15 PM
What can I say??? There is nothing like it anywhere else. Very original and
hilarious! You're right Drak; I WILL be singing this. It is now stuck in my
head for good and now I can think of nothing else. I guess I don't need to
write any more tracks. I cant! I've got this tune in my head and it won't
leave. Jeez! I was warned! But I couldn't resist. Loved it!!!!!!! Peace!
[ Reply to This ]
Grape Fruit is a serious matter &mdash 10/20/06 - 09:38:37 PM
I love grape fruit but the rest of my family doesn't... I think some of us
take our grape fruit seriously, me included. I like it cut in half and with
sugar sprinkled on top. Other members of my klan disgustingly watch as
I chow. I enjoyed this... The song was a pleasure to listen to but it too
makes me laugh. Really good stuff, Eduard, I've been really enjoying that
CD. [ Reply to This ]
serious grapefruit &mdash 10/21/06 - 08:02:52 AM
Well, California and Texas are big grapefruit-producing areas (I think TX makes
the Oro Blanco, which is delicious!) And I'll be your grapefruit buddy, I love it
too, even without sugar... but I'm lazy and hate cutting the wedges free, my wife
lovingly does that for me :-) I think it is because I like grapefruit that this lyric
came to mind. I'm very happy you're enjoying my music and it makes you smile!
ttfn,
Drakonis
---
Deja vu - It's the next best thing to being there<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/23351">Sometimes - Magic Flute mix</a> [ Reply to This ]
Ah .. &mdash 11/07/06 - 03:40:00 PM
.. so this was the original version? You wanted a critique??? hahahahaha
The darkness of the earlier versions is slightly obscured in a light-hearted, quirky, duet between an old Speak 'n' Spell machine (remember
those?) and a cyborg Kermit the frog, or 'cyfrog' to coin a phrase ;o)
.. must .. resist .. doing .. parodies .. of .. own ..material ..
Thanks for posting this: gave me a hearty chuckle anyway, your a good sport, like 9-ball or anything indoor really... [ Reply to This ]
no critique needed on this... &mdash 11/07/06 - 05:37:47 PM
I just wanted to make you giggle... sounds like it worked! Now tomorrow we'll see if you catch yourself singing this to yourself in the shower... if so, my work is done! Bwahaha...
ttfn,
Drakonis
---
Deja vu - It's the next best thing to being there<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/23351">Sometimes - Magic Flute mix</a> [ Reply to This ]
Lol &mdash 11/08/06 - 08:14:17 AM
.. I got a complementary ad from google for www.citrus-express.net when I viewed your reply, made me giggle some
more.
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"In Swedish, there is a subtle difference between being ugly or drunk" [ Reply to This ]
Although... &mdash 11/22/06 - 03:31:25 PM
I would think your computer may prefer Macadamia nuts, or Apple Pie... Sounds like it enjoys Grapefruit.... Funny sound on the vocals, like laptop speakers or something... Thanks for pointing me here, . - Harold [ Reply to This ]
only the punitent man shall pass... &mdash 11/22/06 - 11:59:34 PM
MACadamia nuts and Apple Pie... sounds yummy to me! My computer seems to be partial to Tesla, and only drinks "115 VAC", whatever that is. Glad you enjoyed the silliness! I think lyrics are overrated, don't you?
ttfn,
Drakonis
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Deja vu - It's the next best thing to being there<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/25837">MusiMorphosis</a> [ Reply to This ]
Ha &mdash 02/09/07 - 11:52:55 AM
I like this! It's funny and melodic at the same time :)
Thanks for your comments my friend,
/F [ Reply to This ]
Must be my Swedish heritage... &mdash 02/09/07 - 12:03:51 PM
Thank you for stopping in! It is funny that Henke really likes this too, his daughers sing it in the house a lot, he says. I love it when I create infectious melodies. And thank YOU for posting your wonderful piano music, I am really enjoying it, and telling others to listen!
ttfn,
Drakonis
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Deja vu - It's the next best thing to being there<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/28669">Dance of the Technoids</a> [ Reply to This ]
Fruity &mdash 06/21/07 - 08:54:46 PM
I can not even begin to say how much I love this tune. It's so different, so surrealistic. So sweet, and so wonderful. Sounds flattery, I know, but it's all well deserved. This is a hit in my ears. [ Reply to This ]
a hit in my ears... ouch. &mdash 06/21/07 - 11:19:23 PM
Hi Mikki, thank you for stopping in and enjoying the tune... it seems to be a very infectious tune indeed. Of course, you have stumbled across the humorous version first, so now it will likely taint your ability to hear it in other forms... but on my page is Roxylee's funny version of this, called "The Mosquito Song" (her attempt to stop this tune from buzzing around her head)... and my serious version of the tune, called "Sometimes". You may like these versions even better, if you can ever get my silly Grapefruit lyrics out of your head :-)
ttfn,
Drakonis
---
Deja vu - It's the next best thing to being there<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/24994">DidgeEmber</a> [ Reply to This ]
The perfect musicians &mdash 07/09/07 - 03:19:57 PM
They always sing on key and do EXACTLY what you tell them to!
I think you've only scratched the surface of what these two talented singers can do. I want to hear more from them!
(And, um, I'm not entirely joking.) [ Reply to This ]
give me a sign! &mdash 07/09/07 - 03:37:18 PM
go ahead, just try to flatter a dragon and see how far you get... um, OK, I'll do something else with these two.
They are a rather cute pair, don't you think? Just pour MIDI in one side and lyrics in the other, turn the crank, and... instant silliness!
This technology was originally developed so a music writer could have a rough draft of "somebody" singing their parts... but I found the still-rather-mechanical-sounding voices to be quite enjoyable, in a lightly menacing way. I have a terrible feeling that if you and I put our heads together, we could collaborate on something quite wacky. Barbershop quartets? Robot lament? electronic queen of the night? The ideas boggle the mind, hopefully... Let me know when you are interested. :-)
ttfn,
Drakonis
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Deja vu - It's the next best thing to being there<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/24994">DidgeEmber</a> [ Reply to This ]
Now I know you're crazy! &mdash 10/03/07 - 12:14:00 AM
oops... &mdash 10/03/07 - 09:45:01 AM
see my response to you on Roxylee's "Mosquito Song". I meant to post it here, but you know how crazy people get. :-) Do you hear (Macintalk) voices too?
ttfn,
Drakonis
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Deja vu - It's the next best thing to being there<br>
### Today's song:<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/28669">Dance of the Technoids</a> [ Reply to This ]
LOL &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:05:40 PM
Fred and Melisma, the singers! &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:11:00 PM
Hehehe, I should have known this would be right up your musically quirkily humorous alley, John... thanks for checking out my computer's marvellous melismas... though she took some cough syrup and is much better now. The software that determines when to naturally bend up to the next note makes this sound quite good, in a terrible way, I agree. Glad you stopped by to smirk!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Ha! &mdash 05/07/08 - 11:10:23 PM
This is my absolutely root-tootin' positivifriggin' favoritist drak song EVER! Oh My Sweet Geebus! Had me rolling on the floor - really! I LOVE IT! I really needed a laugh today - thank you for making everything better, if only for 2 and 1/2 minutes. I will never look at grapefruit the same. [ Reply to This ]
Acerbic and acetic silliness &mdash 05/08/08 - 10:30:30 AM
Abso-friggin-tastic that I would tickle your funny bone too... that is exactly what I wanted to do with this song! You are beginning to see the "real" side of this dragon... very smirky and silly. Thank YOU for leaving a comment (after the Belgian ROFLs) and letting me know that it got to you this way, you just gave me an hour of giggles in return... wait, that means I owe you more, dang! OK, off to create more silliness. I'll bring something to the next KSA meeting.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
grapefruit &mdash 07/09/08 - 05:02:22 PM
we just had to come find this to prove that we could. it's still our favoritist dragon song. [ Reply to This ]
oops! &mdash 07/09/08 - 05:05:02 PM
Big hugs to both of you... &mdash 07/10/08 - 02:29:07 PM
I promise not to tell anyone who the foinixes (foinii) are. Thank you for dropping back in and reveling in the happy bouncy silliness with me! I look forward to your collaborative output with relish. :-) (yes, it is a very tangential reference to "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons..." but you knew that.)
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Robot harmony!!! &mdash 10/14/08 - 11:12:02 AM
Amazing! How do you keep them out of the refrigerator Drak?
You know they could reprogram it so you can't get in but they can! [ Reply to This ]
robots in the fridge? &mdash 10/14/08 - 12:55:16 PM
are you talking about my teenage robot that is always in the fridge? She's starting to really like grapefruit now, so there is hope. :-) I'm so glad this tickled your funny bone, I'm always happy to infect others with a silly smirk! If you ever need weird robot voices, these two are for hire. They are NOT the Macintalk robots, these can sing, and they are multi-lingual... which I think is only legal in Utah, I'll have to check on robot law. :-)
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
HAH HAH HAH HAH &mdash 10/14/08 - 03:35:07 PM
HAH HAH HAH HAH! EVIL, you most definitely are! Thanks, nope! "oo-oo-oo-ooh, ah mommy"... HAH HAH! [ Reply to This ]
thrown into fits &mdash 10/14/08 - 04:22:05 PM
fits of laughter... it fits you well. Glad you enjoyed the giggle-fits! Happy Mirthday!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Hehe! &mdash 10/15/08 - 10:53:39 PM
This is so silly, but very fun, well written, and well made! :-D I especially loved the melismas! [ Reply to This ]
Grapefruit juice will cure melisma &mdash 10/27/08 - 10:19:00 AM
Thanks Sam, glad you stopped in to listen to this silliness and enjoyed it. I should have known this would be right up your alley. It was quickly-thrown-together lyrics that created the melismas, but the robo-singer handles them really well, I thought. I need to try another one of these silly songs sometime. Maybe I'll try some faux Gilbert & Sullivan...
"I booted up that software so skillfully, that now I am director for the MTV..."
no, that's not right... [ Reply to This ]
Brilliant &mdash 10/27/08 - 09:41:47 AM
.....I'm so glad you flagged me to this - I just love it. Feed the little robot indeed! So sincere.... so chirpy.... can't wait to blast this out of my 18-wheeler on the highway in New Jersey!
[ Reply to This ]
heehee &mdash 10/27/08 - 11:25:06 AM
Hey Rik, thanks for wiping the chocolate rabbit from your lips and humming along. Maybe I could change the words to this, and you could use it for one of those model train videos... "I need an engine, really, badly, no caboosin', just hangin' loose'n... need an engine... etc." (smirk)
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
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Really funny mommy !
:D
[ Reply to This ]