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Description
Trying for a poem that is theologically sound, yet takes in my beliefs (or lack thereof). Let me know.
Incase you feel like messing with the file, it's here:
Gardens.
Incase you feel like messing with the file, it's here:
Gardens.
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Lyrics
The tree of knowledge of good and evil
is stripped bare, leaves and branches
consumed,
even the bark from its body torn
to make bitter tea.
A poor prognosis for survival.
The tree of life dies under the weight
of its own fruit
sickly sweet rot fertilizing nothing.
There are lessons here. Men
would rather starve than
live forever. An orchard untended
invites decay.
Trees cannot be pruned with a sword
of flame.
Another place, another garden.
There are temptations here, there are
fears,
doubt and mortality,
god made man,
and as many lessons.
Tired prayer and tested faith,
sleeping companions and denial,
moonlight through thriving trees,
impatient soldiers,
and a kiss of betrayal.
Torture’s beginning.
There is no place for man in named gardens.
‘06
is stripped bare, leaves and branches
consumed,
even the bark from its body torn
to make bitter tea.
A poor prognosis for survival.
The tree of life dies under the weight
of its own fruit
sickly sweet rot fertilizing nothing.
There are lessons here. Men
would rather starve than
live forever. An orchard untended
invites decay.
Trees cannot be pruned with a sword
of flame.
Another place, another garden.
There are temptations here, there are
fears,
doubt and mortality,
god made man,
and as many lessons.
Tired prayer and tested faith,
sleeping companions and denial,
moonlight through thriving trees,
impatient soldiers,
and a kiss of betrayal.
Torture’s beginning.
There is no place for man in named gardens.
‘06
Willywagga
Firstly, some things are not immediately apparent upon first or
subsequent listens, I'm a bit confused,. Not sure what you mean by: A
poor prognosis for survival, in the context of the poem. I like the
timeless parallels, there is a biblical sense as well as a contemporary
sense. Maybe I'm missing something, I was probably confused before I
even started listening to it. For me it works better to read it silently and
put the words into my own head where they're supposed to fit.
Jeez, I think I just saw Will Shakespeare flit past in the shadows, all
blood and worry, signifying something.
I like your words, they give me just enough.
And that's all I need.
Thank You