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Gardens by cjorgensen [Email]

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SONG STATS:
Hits: 788
Comments: 3
Votes: 5
Plays: 76
Last Played: Mar 03, 2008 - 07:40:18 PM
Downloads: 28
Fans: 2
Uploaded: Aug 27, 2006 - 01:21:59 AM
Last Updated: Aug 27, 2006 - 01:21:59 AM
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Keywords:
religion (28), god (191), gardening (5), immortality (3)
Description:
Trying for a poem that is theologically sound, yet takes in my beliefs (or lack thereof). Let me know.

Incase you feel like messing with the file, it's here:

Gardens.

Lyrics:
The tree of knowledge of good and evil
is stripped bare, leaves and branches
 consumed,
even the bark from its body torn
 to make bitter tea.
A poor prognosis for survival.

The tree of life dies under the weight
 of its own fruit
sickly sweet rot fertilizing nothing.
There are lessons here. Men
 would rather starve than
live forever. An orchard untended
 invites decay.
Trees cannot be pruned with a sword
 of flame.

Another place, another garden.

There are temptations here, there are
 fears,
doubt and mortality,
god made man,
and as many lessons.

Tired prayer and tested faith,
sleeping companions and denial,
moonlight through thriving trees,
impatient soldiers,
and a kiss of betrayal.
Torture’s beginning.

There is no place for man in named gardens.

‘06

Hardware:
Couple of mics, audio input, the usual.

Software:
GB3 only.
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hmmm &mdash 08/31/06 - 06:15:45 PM
Firstly, some things are not immediately apparent upon first or
subsequent listens, I'm a bit confused,. Not sure what you mean by: A
poor prognosis for survival, in the context of the poem. I like the
timeless parallels, there is a biblical sense as well as a contemporary
sense. Maybe I'm missing something, I was probably confused before I
even started listening to it. For me it works better to read it silently and
put the words into my own head where they're supposed to fit.
Jeez, I think I just saw Will Shakespeare flit past in the shadows, all
blood and worry, signifying something.
I like your words, they give me just enough.
And that's all I need.
Thank You


[ Reply to This ]
re: hmmm &mdash 09/14/06 - 11:38:42 PM
I can finally respond!

Well, the line you were having difficulty is one I wasn't expecting people to
have problems with, but on rereading it, I see it could be the tree or people.
Anyway, I was trying to say if you rip off all the bark and leaves of a tree,
chances are it will die. When you have something of value, people tend to
strip mine it until there is little left.

I was going for a poem that was theologically sound, yet held meaning for
me. Too often people come to a problem from such differing viewpoints it is
impossible to understand each other. I was trying to show I understand the
believers.

I would rather people just read my poems, put their own meaning to them,
but this is an audio site. :)

And you'd be surprised at how many times people make me feel smarter than
I am by pointing out a meaning in one of my poems I did not intend.
Sometimes, after, they are so correct I can no longer read it any other way.

And I am no Shakespeare.

For my birthday this year a friend gave me a shirt that says, "Shakespeare
hates your emo poems." The other day I was wondering what Shakespeare
would be doing if he were alive today. I'm guessing suing a lot of people for
royalties. Ha! Bet he'd be making movies and not writing poetry or plays.

---
A Bloody Dark Pastryman
http://www.christopher.jorgensen.name

[ Reply to This ]
indeed indeed &mdash 09/03/06 - 07:59:27 PM
you said, i heard it, hope its the same thing...

[ Reply to This ]
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