Even though... &mdash 10/20/06 - 02:02:30 PM
...there are some buzzing from the frets, this is neat. I see this in the
same genre as those songs used on television shows (The WB, etc.) where
drama and tension unfold. I think this would fit there very well. The
echoes lend itself to this type and style. I really like the background
softness in between vocals. The only thing crit I would have is that the
vocals are sometimes bending the tune a little too much, but then that is
just my thought. Overall, very well put together for this style! [ Reply to This ]
What's the buzz... &mdash 10/20/06 - 03:35:36 PM
Hey Jon,
Thanks for stopping! As for the buzz, it must have been the result of me trying
to mix out some hiss. My ears are becoming less accurate, as they have a
permanent hiss of their own. I see myself going insane, while trying to eliminate
sounds that might not exsist! But I continue!
I also tend to get too sloppy with the vocals on this piece. I don't know why.
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
A struggle... &mdash 10/21/06 - 07:10:10 PM
To stay on-line to keep up the music thing, too..... I can relate to that. I like your guitar picking, my favorite part. The background synth you added was in the background, I thought that is appropriate in the mix and it fit well. Echo on the vox is a little strong, but a good effect. If I need to complain about something, it's the mic/recording hiss & noise. Take care - Harold [ Reply to This ]
Thanks Harold &mdash 10/22/06 - 01:21:23 PM
Thanks again! By the time I got to mixing the vocal, I had already spent more
time than I should on the hiss. But I tried a few senarios with the echo. I did
want echo. I may fix it sometime!
I'm glad you liked the guitar parts. I've decided that I can be expressive without
being too talented! I think it's coming together ok.
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
Nice Space! &mdash 10/21/06 - 07:37:31 PM
This really drew me in. I love how spaced out everything is. I feel a sort of quiet desperation when i listen to this. It's soft, yet powerful. The low-key synth is a nice touch. I love the vocals and the guitar tones.
There is a deal of hiss. The Lowpass filter in garageband When micing my guitar. It changes the tone but if you tweek it slightly, you can get rid of the hiss without altering it too much.
Otherwise, I think this is great. Glad I saw the forum and found you! [ Reply to This ]
Thanks Eric &mdash 10/22/06 - 01:26:43 PM
I'm glad you tuned in!
Thanks for the production tip! I can't get enough of techniques. I will try to
clean it up.
This song was inspired by my dead end job in the eighties. That's a pic of me
over twenty years ago! I was probably 20.
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
Space &mdash 10/21/06 - 09:19:30 PM
I like how ewebacce put it: there is a lot of space here, but in a good way. It's a brave choice not to be afraid of the quiet in a song and you use it to your advantage. I'm not wild about the effects on the vocals because your voice and guitar complement each other so well, and the effects seem to put a wide distance between them. Are you trying to hide? Because there's absolutely no need. [ Reply to This ]
Hey Magritte! &mdash 10/22/06 - 01:34:30 PM
I was tempted to put in an underlying sound in the background, if anything, to
cover up the hissss.
Thanks! I have had struggles over the years. I am insecure about my voice.
There are key points in a person's growing up years when a word or phrase can
effect the rest of your life. I had a couple of those growing up, dealing with my
voice. It has occurred to me to use it with feeling and it won't matter how I sing!
Great supportive comments!
Thanks.
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
Understated &mdash 10/22/06 - 05:31:01 PM
Much of what I would say here has already been indicated. Very nice
pickin' on the guitar, with a sad emptiness conveyed by your playing and
vocals. Quite moving, really. It takes nerve to create a production like
this. I'd be all aquiver about having to fill it up but you had the courage
to let it stand on it's own. Have more courage about your voice, sounds
pretty damn good to me, especially in this context. [ Reply to This ]
AquilA &mdash 10/23/06 - 11:43:04 AM
Thanks for your kindness! The big challenge was not to rush the phrasing. I
had to let the music lead the vocals. In a way it created the feeling of
reluctance.
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
NOT BAD &mdash 10/22/06 - 07:35:48 PM
I like the sparse feel of this! COol concept and the lyrics are like a puzzle FOR YOU TO PIECE TOGETHER! Nicely done! Yeah it would be cool to have some creepy keyboard lines in there to cover the hiss!
Here's a track to trade!
http://www.macjams.com/song/23889 [ Reply to This ]
Thanks Doc &mdash 10/23/06 - 11:48:44 AM
I wonder about putting in a drone sound in the back. It would be similar to the
original "Line" song I've done before. Or like you said, some spooky counter.
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
Yeah... &mdash 10/23/06 - 08:54:19 PM
Very, very well done! Love the abience of this one - Like filled up w/
hollowness... Totally dig this, Doug - Thanks - Dion
Man... [ Reply to This ]
Welcome Dion! &mdash 10/24/06 - 09:11:30 AM
I'm glad you like it! Occasionally I feel like I'm on the cusp of musical
understanding! Thanks. Doug
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
mmmmmm.... &mdash 10/24/06 - 04:09:40 PM
This is real nice...so good to have you back Doug. Love your vocal work
herein, and the guitar playing is so deliciously moody. An instant fave!
Be well! [ Reply to This ]
Hey Mike! &mdash 10/24/06 - 04:41:04 PM
That means a lot to me! Thanks Man.
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
Hey... &mdash 10/27/06 - 12:36:14 PM
I have tried! &mdash 10/27/06 - 01:54:22 PM
As much as I like to look unkempt, and I do work at it, I have retired the shaggy look, in the interest of familial harmony!
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
EMOTIVE &mdash 10/25/06 - 08:10:28 PM
Great Capture on the Guitar - Front Row.
Like the Lyric and Concept, and Love the Organ (which needn't hide so
much, maybe).
The Tape Delay Vx seemed intrusive on Your already well-stated position
as the Narrator. It seems redundant to what Your Voice is already
demonstrating for me.
Don't know the original, yet, but this is a FINE Listen, Brother.
Very Best Regards,
Cooper [ Reply to This ]
Thanks Brother! &mdash 10/26/06 - 03:06:38 PM
I wondered if that were too quiet. I had originally thought about putting additional stuff in the background, but didn't want to compromise the isolation of the vocal. Time will tell.
Doug
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
The ties that bind . . . &mdash 10/27/06 - 01:34:38 AM
The sparse vocals and instruments add to the effect of the song. What was missing for me was something that moved the halting style forward. Perhaps a piece of percussion, even if it only played once every measure.
I like the mood of the song and the emotion. It just needs something to tie it together, if that makes sense. [ Reply to This ]
Hey Tim &mdash 10/27/06 - 09:20:02 AM
Thanks for swinging by. I'll take your thoughts into consideration. I'm glad you enjoyed parts of it!
Doug
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
you know &mdash 01/21/07 - 10:37:52 PM
when I first listened I was thinking this is hard on the echo but then ass the song progressed it became so very clear and beautifull but then it ended and i wanted more I think thats a good thing . Never mind what I thnk this was a ver good song!! [ Reply to This ]
Wow &mdash 01/26/07 - 09:21:07 AM
Thanks for tuning in and giving it the benefit...
Thank You!
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We have a cat. Our fish has recently passed away...long live Swimmers! [ Reply to This ]
Haunting &mdash 02/12/07 - 05:40:37 PM
This is a weirdly sparse and haunting tune. I kept thinking it might bust out into something more--lilke more instrumentation or a quicker tempo--but in the end I think it works like it is. Kinda creepy, in a GOOD way! [ Reply to This ]
Thank You Jim! &mdash 02/19/07 - 12:50:50 PM
It was kind of fun for me to let time go and jump on it moment by moment. I wonder if I get away with it on any other tunes...
Peace,
Doug
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We have a cat. [ Reply to This ]
Happy birthday &mdash 02/22/07 - 02:11:11 PM
I think the fret buzz adds to the atmosphere. And the atmosphere is what makes this song ... the simplicity and space in the arrangement pulls you in and holds your attention, and it's soulful and honest. Works for me! [ Reply to This ]
My Birthday is your Birthday... &mdash 02/23/07 - 09:45:13 AM
Hey Rebsie!
Thanks for the gift! I tried this tune a few different ways and settled on an isolated environment. I lived in a cave at that point of my life.
Peace!
Doug
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We have a cat. [ Reply to This ]
I loved the spareness of this &mdash 02/24/07 - 04:05:44 AM
... as if you're just sitting at the kitchen table after coming home from third shift at the foundry, and you aren't sure if you should try to get some sleep, or what, and you should shower and go do some stuff, but you're just too tired, and why did you take this stupid job anyway, and, man, I was lucky not to get the tip of my finger crushed by that machine when i was trying to unjam it at 3:30, and... Oh - that was MY dead end job in the 1980's. Anyway, very effective atmosphere set, here. [ Reply to This ]
Hey Kristy! &mdash 02/27/07 - 05:31:30 PM
Thanks for the gift! Your comments are always welcome.
Yeah, it was always a sort of conlflict. Grunt work was mentally easy but psychologically damaging. I'm glad to have moved on!
Thanks again!
Doug
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We have a cat. [ Reply to This ]
This is the best version &mdash 04/03/07 - 06:20:25 PM
You went acoustic. Even before you saw my other posts.
I think if you want to make this "plugged" keep it raw, just guitar drum and bass.
Thanks for sharing all three versions. [ Reply to This ]
Yes, Stoo &mdash 06/05/07 - 05:18:29 PM
I agree with you. This is my favorite version, too. It is just plain lonely.
Thanks for looking at them!
Doug
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May your shoes bah-doo... [ Reply to This ]
this &mdash 06/04/07 - 10:49:37 PM
is perfect. my fave song of yours so far (working my way thru your catalog). i relly like everything about this song; except it's too short. you could drag out the beginning forever, and then come back to it where the song ended ad drag it out again. hey check out devendra banhart; modern freak-folk that i think you would be into. [ Reply to This ]
Michael! &mdash 06/05/07 - 05:23:56 PM
Thanks for the good notes! When I get the time, I will be in song heaven! Jammorama added to my original. I thought that was nice. Maybe I could talk him into adding to the quiet version. Imagine, the hollow haunting flute sounds in this song!
Doug
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May your shoes bah-doo... [ Reply to This ]
|
same genre as those songs used on television shows (The WB, etc.) where
drama and tension unfold. I think this would fit there very well. The
echoes lend itself to this type and style. I really like the background
softness in between vocals. The only thing crit I would have is that the
vocals are sometimes bending the tune a little too much, but then that is
just my thought. Overall, very well put together for this style!
[ Reply to This ]