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Description
Okay, so I gave in... here is a low fi mono draft copy of one of the songs I'm working on for my album....
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Lyrics
YOU FOUND ME
Words & Music by Aaron David Polley (c) 2006
VERSE 1
Looking through glass eyes
The world was pale
Memories from a time
Where all life failed
PRE-CHORUS
But then something changed
Something re-arranged
All the fog has cleared
A new dawn is here
CHORUS
You found me
Inside a place
Of no surrender
You found me
Beneath the waves
And Roaring thunder
You found me
You taught me
You fought to show the way
I’m ready
Now steady
Prepared to face the end
BRIDGE
Now I can see
The price that you paid
You took the blame
For all of my shame
No greater love than this
Will I see
Than what you gave to me
Now I believe
Words & Music by Aaron David Polley (c) 2006
VERSE 1
Looking through glass eyes
The world was pale
Memories from a time
Where all life failed
PRE-CHORUS
But then something changed
Something re-arranged
All the fog has cleared
A new dawn is here
CHORUS
You found me
Inside a place
Of no surrender
You found me
Beneath the waves
And Roaring thunder
You found me
You taught me
You fought to show the way
I’m ready
Now steady
Prepared to face the end
BRIDGE
Now I can see
The price that you paid
You took the blame
For all of my shame
No greater love than this
Will I see
Than what you gave to me
Now I believe
Jim Bouchard
...here's my input. You've got a very nice voice. The song is a little bare
bones for my taste. It's a straightforward pop song without all the
dressings, the additional instrumentation, harmonies, development
that you would normally hear. The initial lead part jumps out but
doesn't really come back with greater force to build the song up, and
so I was a little let down by the ending. I think somebody voted this a
little too low, though, I think it shows some promise, but it really needs
a lot more development. Of course the person who voted that way may
not understand that voting something as "Average" on MacJams means
that it is somewhere less than that. (that vote might get removed as
"bombing", anyway)You might be thinking of putting out a CD a little
too soon, because I think you need to develop a little bit more as a
writer and recording artist, but that's coming from one who barely gets
off the blocks in that CD race, so consider the source for what it's
worth. I admire your enthusiasm!