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Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial
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Description:
Another work in progress... any suggestions are welcome:)
Lyrics:
Same space in another world
Same trace of a lonely girl
Same feelings of too much pride
Same places of which to hide.
Looking through the months and years
We can find the tears
Memories look a homemade book
Remind us where not to look.
Fall into a distant plane
Through it there's a window pane
Shines diamonds in one's eyes
Glittering before good-byes.
We can't escape our shadow
Or bar a door that isn't ours
We can't force open empty hearts
Or sing a song that never was.
Same space in another world
Same trace of a lonely girl
Same feelings of too much pride
Same places of which to hide.
Hardware:
ibook, MAudio Fast Track Pro, Condenser mic, Washburn guitar
Software:
Garage Band
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just to say... &mdash 11/07/06 - 10:45:44 AM
I love it... This song is beautifull.. I love it.. Maybe you need a better prodution... [ Reply to This ]
thanks &mdash 11/07/06 - 08:51:00 PM
Thank you for your input. I agree that the production needs to be better... This was actually the first song that I made on Garage Band so it's a long time ago already. I forgot that I had it, found it and decided to post it. Could you suggest anything to help me improve the sound? I am still such a novice. I love working on music so much and would like to improve. I have been listening to your songs too... so fun. [ Reply to This ]
nice song &mdash 11/07/06 - 09:41:26 PM
very good vocal. i liked it. but, if your asking, this is my opinion. it's nothing major. after awhile i was getting the impression that is was becoming a bit repetitive, then the drums came and it changed, i'm now thinking alright (it picks up the song) maybe if that could be moved forward earlier then repeated closer to the end. unless your game for a tuba solo! just kidding... enjoyable song.
Vic [ Reply to This ]
thanks &mdash 11/08/06 - 04:08:24 AM
I agree... the beginning may be a bit too much repetition, too long. I'll look at adding a bit of variety. Thanks for your input. [ Reply to This ]
incredible song !! &mdash 11/08/06 - 04:12:20 AM
what a sweet singin and voice ....
very folkie taste ..... I m very
curious how the last take will sound
I would suggest ...less percussions
and a bass ..dunno maybe I m very folkie ear
great tune thnx for sharing
[ Reply to This ]
cheers &mdash 11/08/06 - 04:17:36 AM
Thank you for your thoughts. It's true that much of what I write and sing is folk. I would love a 'real' bass on this. That's why there isn't one now. So, I am on the hunt. Thank you again for your comments. [ Reply to This ]
Impressive! &mdash 11/08/06 - 04:54:59 AM
Laura, nice song and voice - the drums need work - not so much the rhythm, but the intro to the more obvious drumming in the middle is out of synch somehow - it's a small problem, but one worth fixing. This is a rather good for an early GB piece! Bass would help - probably a fretless bass - Hectorious or Katchoolik might be able to help out here. You play well.
The mix is good. Impressive overall.
Neil [ Reply to This ]
very helpful &mdash 11/08/06 - 05:47:59 AM
thank you so much for your advice. i'll check out the drums in the middle section and try to get them in sync better. a collab for the bass is a great idea too. thanks for the name suggestions. cheers! [ Reply to This ]
Don't let him fool you, Laura... &mdash 11/08/06 - 09:13:58 AM
jiguma is also a MacJams bass player to be reckoned with... and he's whole continents closer....
Ed
(Although Hectorious and katchoolik are amazing as well, of course...) [ Reply to This ]
Yes, there are timing disconnects... &mdash 11/08/06 - 09:19:22 AM
...and yes, Neil is right, it's worth correcting...
What I'm doing as I'm listening, though, is listening as if this is your band, and you're running the tune down whille everyone gets their part right. It's still coming together, everyone's finding their way, but there's no question this is a great song...
I love the opening, I love the basic groove of the song. To my ears, the total sound reminds me of some of Pentangle. Your voice is really good, and I love the guitar line. It's a great song, and worth another go.
That change-up in the drums is the spot to get smoother....
Ed [ Reply to This ]
thank you &mdash 11/08/06 - 10:52:42 AM
I have just been listening to many of your songs... you have submitted SO many lovely songs. I really enjoy your style and voice. Thanks again for your comments. I am excited to take a look at the transition and fix the timing.
Cheers.
Laurie [ Reply to This ]
nice &mdash 11/09/06 - 10:25:37 AM
Thank you &mdash 11/09/06 - 10:48:05 AM
Thanks for listening. I am just working to fix some of the problems in the song and am excited to post it again... [ Reply to This ]
Sweet! &mdash 11/09/06 - 12:25:57 PM
Excellent voice, and the guitar and piano make such a cool, atmosphere. The bigger drums seem a little bombastic for the rest of the mellowness. Your voice and the guitar are beautiful, and set the mood of the song really well. [ Reply to This ]
thank you &mdash 11/11/06 - 11:42:21 AM
Thanks for listening and commenting. I agree that the transition into the bridge is abrupt and the volume of the drums too loud. I really appreciate that you feel the mood is set well by the drums and guitar. I look forward to hearing more of your work:) [ Reply to This ]
beautiful lyrics! &mdash 11/09/06 - 03:05:50 PM
The lyrics are totally stunning and beautiful. I'm by no means an expert, but the vocals seem a little loud for my liking, but I love the piano. When the drums come in it seems a little "off-beat", like the timing or balance is slightly off, but over-all, I really enjoyed it! [ Reply to This ]
thank you &mdash 11/11/06 - 11:45:07 AM
Thank you so much for the nice comments. Believe me, I am definately not an expert but really love learning. I have done an overhaul on the drums that were out of sync and am excited to fix the song up in general. Now I am going to go listen to some of your stuff:) Cheers! [ Reply to This ]
great song &mdash 11/09/06 - 03:15:55 PM
Really liked the feel on this one, bit Joni Mitchelish? Not a bad thing. There's a lot of fuzz on the recording - are you recording too hot? is the gauge going into the red? Sounds like clipping. Try recording quieter then boosting the sound later. Look forward to hearing more!! [ Reply to This ]
apologise! &mdash 11/09/06 - 03:19:16 PM
Hi, i apologise for criticising your recording, it was my wireless headphones - they weren't tuned in properly. Now I've corrected that, the production sounds much better.
---
Smokey Bacon Jnr - useless like his father [ Reply to This ]
wireless is hard sometimes &mdash 11/11/06 - 11:47:21 AM
I used to have wireless headphones and could never seem to get them to work well. Do you like yours? Thanks for the comments. After reading your comment, I checked for clips and actually found some - thanks! Can't wait to hear some of your stuff... gotta surf some more. Such fun. [ Reply to This ]
nice tune &mdash 11/09/06 - 04:02:51 PM
Really a beautiful song. I love it... I regret my language too limited to say all my sensations. Bravo... [ Reply to This ]
thank you &mdash 11/11/06 - 11:49:16 AM
Thank you for listening. I appreciate your comment and was very happy that you like the song. I can't wait to post the updated version... soon. [ Reply to This ]
like &mdash 11/09/06 - 06:40:06 PM
the rounded texture of this song very enjoyable piece of music, agian your voice realy stands out in a good way. your voice completes it and brings it all together. I also lilke the peotry great writing. So all I need now is more songs from you because Ive listened to your whole catalog, just kidding....... keep it up [ Reply to This ]
rounded is good &mdash 11/11/06 - 11:51:36 AM
It's great to hear that you found the sound to be rounded as I think that is very important. With vocals, I also feel that it's very important for the words to be understood. I love poetry. Glad that you liked the song. I am excited to post the updated version soon. Now I'm off to listen to some of your stuff..:) [ Reply to This ]
,-) &mdash 11/10/06 - 07:08:05 PM
Great voices and pretty woman..whats else?...good luck!
Schello
-----------
Im not musician [ Reply to This ]
thanks &mdash 11/12/06 - 08:24:55 AM
Thank you very much for listening! I am glad that you had a chance to comment:) Good luck to you too. [ Reply to This ]
Loads of good stuff... &mdash 11/11/06 - 06:15:11 AM
...going on in this track, gorgeous vocal and nice lines on guitar and piano and cracking melody to boot! Possibly some variation in the instrumentation would help propel the song a bit more during the first 3 verses, perhaps bringing in the piano later (or percussion) although I like the intro so perhaps you might want to drop one of these out for the first verse... That middle section sounds like a whole other track - it might be interesting to develop it in its own right. Another thing I'd suggest is try doing some backing vox - I imagine you'd do this really well.
KK [ Reply to This ]
very helpful &mdash 11/11/06 - 11:58:12 AM
Thank you for your helpful suggestions. I have, in fact, taken your advice and introduced new elements one at a time during the first three verses and it gives the song a far better sense of movement. I also shortened the tags between the verses from eight to four bars. Harmonies are a great idea - I'll try that too. The middle part of the song is far to abrupt in this version and I've been working hard to make the transition smoother. I'd love to hear what you think about the new version of the song which I will post soon. BTW: I noticed that your pic has some Russian writing. Do you speak Russian or are your of Russian descent? [ Reply to This ]
I hade to... &mdash 11/11/06 - 12:05:25 PM
Listen twice and my second listning convince me I love it.....but I agree whit craft on the production.
Take care
Kenta :) [ Reply to This ]
Glad that you like it... &mdash 11/12/06 - 08:05:27 AM
I am happy that you like the song overall. I also agree that the production needs work. Hopefully I will be able to submit the new version this or next week:) I see that you're online. I'll go to listen to your song now... Cheers. [ Reply to This ]
Just a thought &mdash 11/14/06 - 11:48:17 AM
You have a very nice, warm voice, and the guitar work is very nice. I also like the piano very much. I was really enjoying the song until the louder drums came in towards the middle. Personally, I don't think those contribute much. The simpler loop is nice and provides enough color without distracting. Have you ever listened to Laura Veirs? She does a wonderful job of blending folksy guitars, piano and vocals with electronic drum loops. Your song reminded me a little bit of her. I am impressed to know this was your first GB song! I do want to emphasize that I really liked your song. [ Reply to This ]
Thank you &mdash 11/18/06 - 03:42:07 AM
Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I appreciate you taking the time to write such nice, helpful things. I agree that the middle section is very different in character but have always heard the song with it so it's hard to take it out. I am working hard on smoothing out the transition now and it's slowly getting there - I hope! I'll post the new version soon and would love to hear what you think of it then. If I can't make a very smooth transition, I will, indeed, try to take out the middle section of the song. Thanks again for your comments. I can't wait to hear some of your stuff. I'm going to go listen now:) [ Reply to This ]
Very nice all around &mdash 11/15/06 - 12:01:27 AM
Reminds me of Sandy Denny and some of the work of Fairport Convention and Pentangle - which scores high in my book. Nice integration of the loops with your own playing. Great work! [ Reply to This ]
thanks &mdash 11/21/06 - 07:59:20 AM
Thank you very much for your kind comments. I like Fairport Convention and Pentangle; used to listen to it some years ago:) I'm just about to post a new version of the song and am excited to see what people think. Take care. [ Reply to This ]
Great &mdash 11/15/06 - 04:31:29 AM
I loved this song. Vocals were a dream. Cheered me up today. Thanks. [ Reply to This ]
It's great to cheer somebody up:) &mdash 11/21/06 - 08:01:00 AM
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I am so happy that you liked the song. I am just about to post a newer version of it:) Cheers, Laurie [ Reply to This ]
Your tune and singing... &mdash 11/15/06 - 05:40:52 PM
Glad you like it:) &mdash 11/21/06 - 08:02:29 AM
Thank you for writing. I am so happy that you like the tune. Check out the newer version that I am just going to post. Cheers, Laurie [ Reply to This ]
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