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Keywords:
Gentle (9), machine (21), desire (19), sex (63), portishead (2), ()
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Description:
Well, I'm not sure if I've finshed mixing this, but I've spent so long tinkering with it, I thought I'd post it 'cause I could tinker with it forever. Not sure what genre this is, so electropop will have to do. This started as a vocal line, and then developed into this ... thing. The stuff I've written recently has been quite obviously verse/ chorus, so this structure is a lot looser (well, that's just an excuse for not writing a chorus on this one). Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Lyrically, it's pretty dark, with some nods (steals) from L. Cohen. Music to make strange love to.
Lyrics:
Gentle Machine making me breathe
Gentle Machine, horns and teeth.
I knelt by the archway and whispered your dreams
Liquid and starlit, bleeding for peace.
Gentle Machine, sweetly obscene
Hands that are captive, white noise and speech.
You think this is true love
It's a conceit
A natural drug
I'm helpless for weeks.
This is not (x3)
Desire you can hide.
... and Tokyo girls taste like sushi
The chi surges through me, turns paper to steel.
Your body a dark star I light when we meet
Whatever burns inside
The surface stays clean.
Pictures in your eyes
Only skin deep.
Your head is at war
Your heart in retreat.
This is not (x3)
Desire you can hide.
This is not (x3)
This is not a drug you should try.
Gentle machine.
Your head is at war, your heart in retreat
White noise and speech, white noise and speech.
Your head in the circle, your heart in the cheap seats
You think that it's love
It's a conceit.
Hardware:
Keystation 49e
shure SM58
iMac
Software:
Garageband 3
Logic Pro 7
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luv it &mdash 12/28/06 - 09:18:02 AM
crushing electric piano sound, nuanced vocals, fab production. what a great track. Steve, this wraps you up and involves the listener from the git go. the vocal fx and background vox are perfect. bravo [ Reply to This ]
production genius &mdash 12/28/06 - 12:27:19 PM
Thanks KTB.
Every time i listen to one of your tracks, I'm in awe of the production, and the production on this can't touch what you do, but I do appreciate such positive feedback from you.
Ta
Steve
[ Reply to This ]
I'm constantly surprised &mdash 12/28/06 - 10:53:42 AM
by the quality of the material on here. Really do think that sometimes it's "there but for the grace of God". I love the lyrics on this, wonderful stuff and the production is excellent. Very dark, great arrangement.
Excellent.
Cheers
Dick [ Reply to This ]
Dark is what we do. &mdash 12/28/06 - 12:35:57 PM
Hi Dick - well, this started off just kinda quiet and calm, like the title, but lyrically took a bit of a dark turn. That's one of the interesting things about songwriting - you're never quite sure what street you'll end up going down.
Looking forward to the completion of the rock opera, by the way ...
Steve [ Reply to This ]
One of the best cuts I've heard this year &mdash 12/28/06 - 08:58:02 PM
And you'll notice I posted this before 2007 began so this is a real compliment not a back-handed one. Your lyrics are wonderful and wonderfully sung over a perfect musical bed and supported with flawless production.
Your break beginning with Pictures in your eyes reminds me a little of an mid sixties artist named Arthur Brown. Good stuff.
[ Reply to This ]
Ta &mdash 12/29/06 - 03:44:17 AM
Hi, and thanks for posting - and i'd take the compliment ever if it was back handed. I really liked the break, and had to force myself not to use it more than once - i think it works just coming in, wringing its hands mournfully, then exiting again.
Steve [ Reply to This ]
That's why the break is great &mdash 12/29/06 - 10:07:41 AM
You have a perfect explanation of why the break is soooooo good. Not only is it tasty but it leaves me wanting more. It means to get more I have to listen again! Perfect!!!!! [ Reply to This ]
Unintended &mdash 12/29/06 - 12:59:49 PM
... that was a completely unintentional idea in the song ... maybe i should use more one-off breaks ... or a whole song made up of different parts ... hmm, an idea is forming ...
Steve [ Reply to This ]
great tune &mdash 12/29/06 - 12:33:34 AM
nice mix of acoustic sounds and electronic. and the lyrics are #$%@in' poetry, even if they're hot property.
delicious,
-g [ Reply to This ]
dodgy lyrics &mdash 12/29/06 - 04:00:00 AM
Thanks Greg - much appreciated. I got some odd looks from my wife aboout the 'Tokyo girls' line, but hey, you open up your subconcious, you can never tell what'll pop out (maybe I should keep it locked). And in effect, I wanted to convey the feeling, rather than meaning with the lyric - it's open to interpretation.
Ta
Steve [ Reply to This ]
multiple images &mdash 12/29/06 - 12:41:35 PM
this is a great track. i really like the form. to me, it's loosely AABA with bridges, a middle eight? i think the form reinforces the mood of the song.
the vocals are well done, and i agree the lyrics are poetry. i also agree with the comments about the break at Pictures. brilliant!
this song has a great hook - it's still playing in my mind half an hour later - dangerous stuff.
this is a great track. thanks! [ Reply to This ]
Waterloo? &mdash 12/29/06 - 01:02:52 PM
Hi Smokey - thanks for the feedback.
When i first read your comment, i thought you meant ABBA (the band), which had me scratching my head (doesn't sound at all like Dancing Quewn), but i see what you mean. I tend to be very blinkered in terms of structure ... this one kinda just drifts.
thanks for the commnets, and for stopping by.
Steve [ Reply to This ]
ABBA - LOL &mdash 12/29/06 - 03:50:37 PM
song structure still fascinates me. the tried and true verse/chorus still works and shows up everywhere, but lots of songs go beyond that form now.
in my opinion the form of a song sets up emotional responses. because the form sets up expectations, and the composer can either reinforce that expectation or contradict it, and that adds an emotional response in the listener somehow. good songs balance that expectation and contradiction.
your song does exactly that very nicely.
---
B^) [ Reply to This ]
Structural &mdash 12/30/06 - 06:40:44 AM
Ta Smokey - structure fascinates me as well - it's easy to fall into verse/ chorus x3 - sometimes you have to pull yourself outy of that, and just let the song flow where it needs/ wants to.
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Dreamlike, picturesque metaphors &mdash 12/29/06 - 12:46:47 PM
I totally dig the lyrics, the dreamlike intuitive quality, the brilliant repetition in the chorus, and the way you developed the concept within the style on the complementary music bed. Edgy yet always accessible. Totally cool track. [ Reply to This ]
dreamy &mdash 12/29/06 - 01:07:59 PM
Thanks Tobin - I always appreciate your comments (as i feel like Luke to your Yoda). I originally was going to use a cut-up technique for the lyric, but ended up using ideas that although disconnected, had a kind of internal logic (and hopefully cohesion). My stuff tends to be a bit 'in your face', and i wanted to write a track that was more subtle and muted, but still accessible. I think my ambition is to post a track here that i can call Art-Rock .. not there yet, but I'm heading down that road
Cheers
Steve. [ Reply to This ]
Great Work Steve &mdash 12/29/06 - 08:10:31 PM
This song is very professional and better than 90% of the material out there today IMHO... You have a great talent myfriend, nuture it, let it expand, and pull it from deep in your soul and you will achieve great things, God willing...a very rare 4 X 10 from me and a definite download ....thank you, digitalnirvana9/Norman [ Reply to This ]
Thank you Norman &mdash 12/30/06 - 06:46:41 AM
.. for such kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. At my age, i think I'm too old for the modern music scene - it's enough just to share tracks in macjams.
Steve [ Reply to This ]
this is GREAT &mdash 12/29/06 - 08:35:59 PM
and definitely one the best tracks I've heard on MJ.
Concept, performance, vox, accompaniment and mix are all first-rate.
I particularly like the hypnotic, deliberate tempo and pacing of this piece. Its restraint allows the words to unfold naturally.
This song shows that you have a great deal of talent. I'm very impressed! [ Reply to This ]
hypnotised &mdash 12/30/06 - 06:54:43 AM
Thanks Cameron - I really tried to make the beats and the vocals the main part to this, with everything else supporting. As a non-musician, it's all musically very simple, but I'm glad that it seems to have conveyed a sense of atmosphere. The track was paced around the vocal, to try and give it a slow, almost draggy feel.
Thanks for commenting
Steve [ Reply to This ]
a patient durge &mdash 12/29/06 - 11:51:59 PM
you pace your angst here in just the right increments to keep us in antisipation... and I have to tell you that that last verse is worth waiting for... perfect
I wish I wrote it [ Reply to This ]
Patience? &mdash 12/30/06 - 07:03:04 AM
Thanks Scott - that made me smile, as I have no patience whatsoever. I'm happy about your comment on the last verse, as I wasn't sure that the song should end quietly (I tend to go for the big finish usually).
Having listened to your latest composition, I take your comments as high praise indeed.
Thanks
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Excellent &mdash 12/30/06 - 12:55:34 AM
Tech-noir; it's as dirty as it is clean. You paint in vivid shades of black and white, the break is Dorothy opening the door into color and then deciding "F THAT!" and slinking back into the darkness of her ruined house. Simply brill. [ Reply to This ]
We're not in kansas anymore .. &mdash 12/30/06 - 12:53:50 PM
i guess Bing. Thanks for a very evocative comment. And Tech Noir? I may just have my album title!
Steve [ Reply to This ]
I feel the dark &mdash 12/30/06 - 04:13:28 AM
And I really enjoy this great song you have done here .
Kudos my friend...Thanx for this one.
And a Happy New Year with more great songs.
http://www.macjams.com/song/27385 [ Reply to This ]
Gloomy outlook &mdash 12/30/06 - 12:56:39 PM
Hi Skean, good to hear from you again. Thanks for stopping by, and I look forward to more of your experimentation in 2007.
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Rich layered cake... &mdash 12/30/06 - 12:17:23 PM
I dig the place where this happens - it feels like a place.
Your lyrics are most excellent. Intelligent, poetic, image rich...
I think your voice sounds great on this...
One suggestion - why not do a version with a female voice?
onesweetworld (see link below) would sound fantastic on this, plus I think she'd really dig it.
http://www.macjams.com/artist/onesweetworld
check out the tunes
Last Flower & Sugar & Spice [ Reply to This ]
female Vox &mdash 12/30/06 - 01:00:32 PM
Firstly, pleased to meetcha - i've admired your work for a looong time.
Secondly, that's so weird about female vocals, 'cause i was going to get my wife to sing on part or all of this, but it just didn't happen. I'm going to get her to sing on my current track, but I'll drop by the lady you recommend and see what happens.
Thanks for commenting, and I look forward to more of your excellent work.
Steve [ Reply to This ]
howdy &mdash 12/30/06 - 01:39:56 PM
Thanks for listening to my tunes! It was very nice of I.Spike to "plug" me :-) I really like this song Echo. I could def. take this song to town and accentuate it's beauty even more. Not to mention it's my style completely!!!! I have a bunch of collabs at the moment but I would like to take this on if you don't mind being patient. Geechi3@aol.com
Look fwd to hearing from you!
-Linda [ Reply to This ]
Howdy Back &mdash 12/30/06 - 04:28:39 PM
Thanks Linda ... I'd be more than happy for you to do yer thang to this track. Will drop you a line ...
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Cool... &mdash 01/04/07 - 01:34:51 PM
Wow... I'm very interested to see how this turns out.
Great song, great singer - I'm thinking that will add up to awesome!
Ciao!
I. Spike [ Reply to This ]
Wow! &mdash 12/30/06 - 04:48:10 PM
Steve, i didn't see this coming really. When I saw the genre, I was bracing to be rocked. Then the haunting beat oozed out of my speakers and gave me goosebumps right away. I guess I was immediately set into a chilled state as I listened to your song and imagined a furistic romantic theme...sort of like a soundtrack for a sedate scene in Blade Runner.. This is awesome! I am so thrilled with this change of pace from you. Man, oh, man... everything just falls into place. I am so inspired to emulate you in terms of your composing style and lyricism and overall musical sense. And that voice can tame a wild soul! While your other songs have been awesome, this one certainly stands out in so many ways... I can go on and on, but hey...why don't I just roll out the tens and shut up now. LOL. [ Reply to This ]
Human? &mdash 12/30/06 - 05:59:54 PM
Hi Leon - great to hear from you - you have been such a big influence on me, and have been such a good friend to me here at MJs. Futuristic romance, huh? You know, i was listening to this track on my ipod, and 'Idiot saviour' came on next - two tracks with a heavy electronic influence. There's a sound there that I really like, and I think that's the direction I'm going to push forwards into in the future - mixing electronics with real fake instruments like piano and strings (and I always think my voice sounds better thru a guitar amp!).
There's a concept here that i really like .. like i said, you're a big influence.
LOL, and have a great new year.
Steve
P.S. yeah, i'm not sure this is eletcropop, but I was kinda stumped as to what genre this should be. [ Reply to This ]
wow &mdash 12/31/06 - 08:39:33 AM
very simple but hip production encases u r great vocal performance.....fantastic track, enjoyed it much! [ Reply to This ]
KISS! &mdash 12/31/06 - 09:19:53 AM
Thanks McBoy - I did try and put more instrumentation into this (after listening to some of the fantastically produced tracks on this Site), but it just sounded cluttered ... so I tried to make it busy, but it didn't suit it!
Debate putting harmonies on this, but again, it just seemed to want something simple (like myself).
Ta
Steve [ Reply to This ]
splendid &mdash 12/31/06 - 09:37:19 AM
Steve, this one is probably amongst the best vocal tunes I've heard here on MJ lately. Dark, but clear and brilliantly structured, with lots of variation. Congrats on the lyrics as well: 'your head is at war, your heart in retreat' is such a beautiful metaphor. And the vocal performance is truely amazing. Blown away I am for sure...
- Walter [ Reply to This ]
dark and dirty &mdash 12/31/06 - 11:37:19 AM
Hi Walter - you know, I listened to your new track, Somehow, yesterday and was really impressed - in fact, i thought we were kind of on the same page in terms of tone and atmosphere - you're a bit of a dark horse yourself. Lyrically, I'm very happy with this - it's themed around two of my lyrical obsessions, desire and sex, but is so oblique that even I keep finding new meanings to it, which i like.
Look forward to more from you in the future ... maybe even a collaboration?
Steve
[ Reply to This ]
aligned &mdash 12/31/06 - 02:02:56 PM
Steve, while I'm writing this, we're not only on the same page in terms of tone and atmosphere, but we are also brotherly side by side on top of the rating picks, with exactly the same score:-) Well, to be honnest, I don't give much about ratings in general, but I thought this was worth mentioning. Yeah, it seems we're very aligned today :-)
- Walter
---
Logic takes you from a to b. Imagination takes you everywhere. [ Reply to This ]
In tune &mdash 01/02/07 - 05:54:34 AM
You're right walter - obviuosly people like the dark stuff. Mind you, new years Eve is a big favourite with suicides ....
Steve [ Reply to This ]
love it &mdash 12/31/06 - 12:56:40 PM
Thanks for your comments on my song because it brought me to this song. I love it. The production is teaching me a few things. But honestly, it's your voice that kept me listening. The music and the lyrics are a close second. Your style is compelling. This is great all around, but your voice is a gift. Take care, I'll be listening. [ Reply to This ]
Ta Ellie &mdash 12/31/06 - 05:11:57 PM
Thanks Estellie - glad you liked the song, and the production. I've read books and articles on production, but at the end of the day it's just trial and error - you make mistakes along the way, but hopefully you keep improving. I've learned a lot from people at this site. I really like singing in this style - as I've got older, i've lost some bottom range, and this is pretty low for my ... i think i got in shape by having whiskey and cigarettes the night before.
thanks for posting
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Wow! &mdash 12/31/06 - 02:36:00 PM
First time I listened to one of your tracks and I must say you have a great voice.
Lyndon [ Reply to This ]
And Now for something completely different &mdash 12/31/06 - 05:13:54 PM
Hi Lydon ... ditto, there's so much good stuff on this site, it's hard to keep track. Thanks for stopping by ... I'll be swinging on over to hear some of your tracks
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Excellent &mdash 12/31/06 - 05:08:44 PM
I was in love with your 'idiot saviour' but now I have found a new love, this track. [ Reply to This ]
Bran flakes &mdash 12/31/06 - 05:16:59 PM
Hi Bran - ta .. I have idiot saviour on my ipod, straight after this, and they actually flow together really well (Saviour's a bit more up beat). I think this is the kind of stuff I'm gonna do more of (and less 80's guitar indie rock).
Thanks for posting - always a pleasure to hear from you.
Happy Noo Year
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Oblique &mdash 12/31/06 - 07:37:19 PM
Excellent track Steve. The lyrics are superb - the style is something I really enjoy - descriptive and mood-creating but also somewhat oblique. Your musical bed is perfect for the song.
Have a great 2007 - looking forward to hearing more of your music.
Peace,
Neil [ Reply to This ]
Moody &mdash 01/01/07 - 04:16:01 AM
Hi Neil, thanks for the comments. I didn't know how this would be received, 'cause it's a dark, nagging track, but the response has really given me confidence to try more in this style. Appreciate your feedback - have a great 2007.
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Really good &mdash 12/31/06 - 07:49:04 PM
I love the way you sing this - your voice is so laid back, and the sound bed also has a 'lull you to sleep' quality. The lyrics are interesting because they are so obscure - I noticed in the comments that you are finding new meanings for some of the lyrics, yourself. The ending glockenspiel is a nice touch. [ Reply to This ]
Sleepy &mdash 01/01/07 - 04:23:10 AM
Thanks KJ - I always tend to sing quite loudly and intense, so I had to rein myself back on this. Lyrically, there were a couple of central ideas to this, but it's been nice just to use suggestive images, rather than paint a clear picture .. I've found in the past on songs I've loved that when I've found out what they were actually about, it wasn't what my interpreatation was. I think interpreting a song yourself can make it more personal (though I don't know what Lily would make of this!).
LOL
Steve [ Reply to This ]
What a space you create &mdash 01/01/07 - 09:09:50 AM
Your playing and production do great service to a fantastic song well sung. Truth is I can't really describe how good this is - the openeness of the structure adds to it's emotional weight - it is what it needs to be. Great work! [ Reply to This ]
Hi Bud... &mdash 01/01/07 - 10:58:54 AM
thanks for commenting .... it obviously takes me a lot longer to write stuff than you.. ..you seem to be producing great work at a phenomenal rate these days. I did put more instrumentation in, but ended up stripping it out, as it just sounded too cluttered. The structure was unplanned, and just kinda evolved .. like the song knew where it was going.
Only trouble is, i probably won't be able to duplicate this (or i'll just rip myself off).
have a great 2007 - here's to more great tracks
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Very Hypnotic Track &mdash 01/01/07 - 09:17:38 AM
which is odd... &mdash 01/01/07 - 11:01:29 AM
.. as I think fahreneit was the first track i listened to this year!
Yours synchronously
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Perfect. Just perfect. &mdash 01/01/07 - 01:50:08 PM
All the sounds are locked into the groove and sound necessary. The lyrics SOUND like they're about something, something specific... even if, for the life of me, I'm not sure what's going on... It's all right....it FEELS as if something very specific and important is being communicated...
I really like the vocal on this...
Excellent song, performance, production, recording...
Ed [ Reply to This ]
vaguely specific &mdash 01/01/07 - 02:25:52 PM
Hi Ed - well, I think that's a great reaction to this track. I remember reading an interview with some band in the 80's, and when asked about their lyrics, the singer said 'They're about nothing , really'. I thought that was a terrible reply. I've always, first and foremost, got into songs through lyrics (it's one of the reasons I never liked Oasis, 'cause their early stuff is lyrically a bit naff, though they've done some good stuff recently).
But.. I like lyrics to be vague enough so that you can put your own meaning onto them (The Orbiting/ Ledebutant do some nice stuff in this area) ... at the same time, you have to get some understanding of what the song is about. Lenny Cohen is one of my favourute lyricists - although generally the subject matter of his songs is clear, he uses a lot of dark images (actually, the 'archway' line in this song is inspired by Take This Longing).
I could do a line by line disection of this, but i think part of the fun is in peering into the dark, and not quite knowing what's in there.
Thanks for stopping by
Steve [ Reply to This ]
Hey dude! &mdash 01/01/07 - 05:33:58 PM
I got to have the #1 tune on New Year's Eve and that's good enough for me! Allow me the honor of breaking the tie and putting you over the edge where you belong (uhhh...I meant that in a good way).
Excellent tuneage my friend! Happy New Year!
Be well! [ Reply to This ]
So it was you.. &mdash 01/02/07 - 03:03:42 AM
that kept me off the number 1 spot!
Hey, it was well deserved my friend, and I've gotta say, I've just been really taken aback by the response to this track.
Have a great new year - look forward to more from you in 2007!
Steve [ Reply to This ]
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