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Taking a shit in the dark while Michel Jackson is around is the scariest thing ever.(almost done) by DOS [Email]
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Description:
New Metal material. Hope you guys like it. I put it as "Almost done" because All I have to do is add some yelling recordings.
Lyrics:
baby, don't leave me,
you make feel different in so many ways,
your esscence seems to stay with me for many days,
when you smile I smile
when your sad, I get sad too
I feel like nothing when your not with me.
it'll kill me to see you with another guy,
your mememory with me will stay with me forever
baby, can you even look at me with those beautiful eyes.
it'll prove there is no such thing as lies.
I love you more than anything and I mean it,
Angel, you are my true lover,
no one can change that.
we meed each other
every night I think about you,
every dream flight I want you with me forever.
I can't let go of your love. like a dove in the sky,
without the lie. yet it feels so dry.
Hardware:
M-Audio Fast Track USB Interface
Sony FV-220
Crate Elecitric Guitar
G2 Effects pedal
Software:
Audacity
FL
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Great.... &mdash 01/16/07 - 06:51:48 PM
Creative.... &mdash 01/16/07 - 07:02:13 PM
Dos, this really is some creative stuff here... but for some reason it makes me chuckle.
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Dadai... It's just music [ Reply to This ]
Almost done? &mdash 01/16/07 - 10:41:21 PM
...oh, you mean the shitting in the dark? LOL.
DOS, I always enjoy your youthful energy and subversive fun! You are like the Borat of music.. Nothing is sacred but you make us listen anyway and have some perverse fun. [ Reply to This ]
Your own voice &mdash 01/17/07 - 02:55:35 AM
Heh! Hm... how to approach this?
OK. First, there is a lot of really great stuff happening with the guitar. You have some terrific riffs that flow losely and playfully and yet maintain cohesiveness throughout the song.
The transiton from the opening verse to the first break is a little abrupt. You might extend the fade of the first verse section into the second section of the long and dissonant chords. I'd also thicken and extend that second section a bit, as it creates a really nice texture in contrast to the rest of the piece.
The dual guitar "solo" part is perfect as is, including the transition back to the verse. That is really the part that makes the song unique and you might even consider an abbreviated version of it as an intro - it would grab the listener's attention and provide foreshadowing. I also really like what sounds like a brief modal change just after "yet it feels so dry."
The lyrics are quite good.
Now. The vocals. I get where you're coming from. I can even appreciate the doom metal approach. However I don't think you're quite pulling it off here and it comes off as parody. You're too over the top in trying to create the sound of a particular style. Less King Diamond cartoon voices, more Slayer growl and articulation! Find the style that suits your voice. You need an approach in the vocals that is as genuine as what you have done with the guitars. [ Reply to This ]
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