Windows (2), lament (15), advice (9), rock'n'roll (3)

I turned on my computer the other night
And Windows gave me a terrible fright
I couldn’t see my icons or my Recycle Bin,
Sound wouldn’t come out and words wouldn’t go in
So I called up my little computer man
He turned up next day in a plain white van
He said ‘I reckon you’ve got a virus, son,
I have to say you’re not the only one:
Put it in the van and I’ll take it back -
You wouldn’t have this trouble if you’d bought a Mac’.

I said ‘It hasn’t been well for quite a while
It says it cannot find some DLL file
My hard disk’s floppy and my floppy disk’s broke
My CD burner’s burning up in smoke
I cannot re-set it to its previous states
And all because I trusted that nice Bill Gates’
I said ‘Will Vista be better then?’
He said ‘It ought to be, it’s just like OS 10.
Put it in the van and I’ll take it back -
You wouldn’t have this trouble if you’d bought a Mac’.


I said ‘My broadband’s narrow and my flowchart won’t flow
My printer won’t print and my modem won’t mo
I can’t believe I’ve had all this bad luck
Is it me or does Windows suck?’
He said ‘My son make no mistake:
Hoovers suck but windows break.’
He said ‘It’s not a case for a software patch
I’ll have to build the hard disk up from scratch.’
I said ‘Put it in the skip and don’t you take it back -
By this time tomorrow I’ll have bought a Mac’.

[Disclaimer: the user referred to in this song is fictitious. Most Windows users have a satisfactory computing experience.]

20 inch G$ iMac, Evolution MK149 Keyboard

Created in GarageBand, mixed in cubase LE