Wonderfully relaxed sound with the voice carrying the energy from beginning to the end. Glad you reworked it, worth your time! Sounds beautiful and the song has a lot of power in it's simplicity. I'd even add another verse and make it longer, and if you don't mind me saying so...but if you substitute the f-word with something not quite as strong, you can take out the explicit note and you've got a song any radio station should play day and night!

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I like this one Magnus. The starting lines 'He could have been another man - If he had finished what he planned' seems to fit to a lot of people I can think of... including my self.

And if you don't change he f... word to something less colorful... I guess Norwegian radio stations will play it anyway;)

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Its not like I have to use the word, but it has a very long vowel sound that i like..... It will never be on radio anyway as well... :D And thank you for the comment!!

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Check out my latest song: <a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/25615">I am sure</a>


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...I hear an improvement in your recorded sound... Your acoustic sounds crisp and bright... The little bit of keyboard reminds me of John Lennon noodling around on Sixties era keyboards and mellotron... It's really just enough...

I think it's time for you to save those dollars, or whatever is the Norwegian currency, and get that next guitar... Your sound these days deserves it...

It's true that in THIS part of the world, that one little word will keep you off the radio... ah well...

My only crit is that I think there's some off pitch in the harmony bits...

This sounds very good, though, and it's really great to be hearing your songs again...

Ed

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I really like the two note strum guitar accompaniment!! It gives a solid foundation for your lilting vocals. The keyboard is like ice cream on pie. Puts it over the top. Sweet tune and a fine job!

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Seems like the stuff I heard from you before was all kind of "lo-fi." You've made a big step in production! The guitar sound is real clean and present. I really like the groove of this song, and the lyrics, too. The only problem spot in my mind are the vocal harmonies, particularly the first time you bring them in--gotta get those a little tighter for them to work.

Nice tune!

Jim

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YOu sound is well arranged I like the harmony realy good. Thanks for sharing

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Crisply played and adroitly sung - an excellent production.

My problem with using an expletive isn't whether it keeps your song off the radio, nor whether it titilates as a taboo, but rather with how it's used in the thought process. You've crafted an exquiste original lyrical piece, but by inserting the F-word at it's dramatic conclusion (just who's fault is it?), the expletive functions as a cliched thought rather than a concise observation. Everybody familar with American-English knows what it means in a general sense, but it's not really saying anything specific or dynamic at all ... and for me that detracts from an otherwise original work. It may "sound" right, but the "sense" seems wrong. This fine song deserves better : >

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Thank you very much for this fine constructive critics on the f word. I think you are right as well. Choosing the right words isn't always easy when English is not my native tongue. And naturally that results in a few cliches. I really apreciate your aproach on this F word. I don't care about radioplay, but i do care about writing better. Thank you very much sir!

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Check out my latest song: <a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/25615">I am sure</a>


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