is captured well here.. I don't think I would change anything about the song structure... I love the chord changes into "I'm falling out" it twists the knife in just the right way... I sat and sang this a few times with you... there might be a few places where I would massage the lyric... but there a few opporunities to go for the juggler in the melody... just to provide that extra emphasis... this is really a great song to sing... and as I'm going about my work here in the office, the song is staying with me...

[ Reply to This ]

I find the ideas in this song well stated and interesting. I do feel that the song needs a little more finishing however. I like the modulation in the chorus but you seem to be searching for the melody just where you need to be at your strongest vocally. Frankly, this song is so good that it really deserves more attention and polish.

I hope you will consider some re-tracking and and re-mixing on this wonderful piece.

[ Reply to This ]

Thats
just what I was doing, searching for the melody. I was very uncertain, where and how to sing the song. I intend to rework it, I had the idea for the song and as it started evolving I did not find the right defination in the melody, I kind of really wanted to belt it out, but just couldn't bring myself to that point, because of lack of definition I suppose. Thanks for the very constructive comments.

[ Reply to This ]

When I think about those hard times for Elvis, it makes me feel so sad. I think that your song lyrics describe what he must have felt like.

[ Reply to This ]

Fantastic recording, sweet guitar, nice and warm. I like the Johnny Cash feel

[ Reply to This ]

Ok - I think the verses are great, really emotional, but the melody in the chorus just isn't quite there yet - for me, it's just not as good as the verse.

i feckin' LOVE the lyric, the guitar is great, the arrangement and structure is good, but obviously work to be done on the mix (keys seems too quiet).

I think this is you best vocal Willie - this needs a bit more spit and polish, but is a gem of a song.

Steve

[ Reply to This ]

Thanks for the thoughts Steve, you are right, I've been playing this song abit the last couple of days just me with the guitar, and have become more acustomed the melody in the song, because there's alot of uncertainty on this take. I will redo the vocals pretty soon, maybe redress the song. Thanks for your thoughts on it.

[ Reply to This ]

I mean that in the very nicest of ways Will. In different hands, this could have been a very smooth ballad, but your approach - call it uncertainty - to the melody and maybe also with the strings and bass, really makes this song for me. There are certainly bits of the melody that could be reworked a little, but I think you need to be careful you don't remove what makes this so special. Very good lyrics. Look forward to hearing the next version.
Cheers,
Neil

[ Reply to This ]

Agree with Neils comments - this needs work, but not that much - the whole feel of this is really special ... it just needs a little push, not shoved in front of a train!

look forward to the finished version.

Steve

[ Reply to This ]

A beautiful piece or work Mr W.

I could hear someone like Tracy Chapman singing this. I love the lyrics and, for me at least, a stronger chorus would detract from the melancholic whole.

Nicely done.

Cheers

Dick

[ Reply to This ]

I'm not well versed with the particulars of recording, yet...but I know that I like the way you're balancing your acoustic guitar/vocals with the shifting instrumentation in the background. Nice variations of sound that stay within the framework.
The lyrics are wonderful and your voice is just right for them.

[ Reply to This ]

This gave me goosebumps when the chorus came in. Excellent song writing. The lyrics alone stand as a work of art. Wonderfull song!!!!

[ Reply to This ]

Love your guitar and the chord changes, also nice build up during the song. Nice voice. I'd do something else with it though. It's a little too much out in the front(LOUD). Maybe just a touch of reverb and vol. down a hair and it would be perfect. Great lyrics.
LL

[ Reply to This ]

I really like the bittersweet tone to this, with the sadness and darkness being expressed through a charming and sometimes upbeat melody, which serves to magnify its impact big time. The chunky bass sound is very nice, and so is the overall dynamic of the song, which manages to be intense and laid-back at the same time.

This has the potential to develop into something pretty knockout, as it has all the elements in place. The only thing I would suggest is to make sure any future tweaks or reworkings don't compromise the honesty of your performance here, because it's that raw directness that makes it so powerful.

And as an aside, it's always nice to hear an Irish accent!

[ Reply to This ]

Maybe because I answered yes to the two questions you posed in the last verse. Well played, and I always liked your vocals, but especially like the little things like the whispered vocal on "shake it off," and that sweet pickin' lead. Really sounds great in my headphones. Be careful with this one Willie, it's special.

[ Reply to This ]

I love the lyrics!! Well written song.
The bass seemed a bit thin to me. But I think that is
preference. I just like a deeper bass.

[ Reply to This ]

This is a great song, with a powerful, affecting sentiment, and some sweet melodic guitar work. I agree with some of the comments about the meldody of the chorus, but I think it's really just a case of tweaking, changing a note here or there. There is a vibe here that you don't want to lose by too much fiddling about. Your vocal is one of the best things about the song, and the emotion in your voice comes across nicely. Bring the keyboards up maybe, turn the vocal down...I don't know. I'm not really qualified to advise! But I do know this is terrific work, and can only get better. Nice work.

[ Reply to This ]

I like it as is! Cozied up in warm self degradation... I know people feel this from time to time.

Good tune!

Doug

[ Reply to This ]

I love the very intimate feeling of this song, and the whole performance reminds me to your masterpiece 'where isabelle played' (still one of my very favourite songs on this site). I have the impression that some lower notes are just a tiny bit too low for your natural voice range. If you're redoing it anyway, you might consider transposing the whole song by two or three notes. That should be perfect. The lyrics are wonderful with a mix of sadness and sarcasm.

- Walter

[ Reply to This ]