I like the emotional compostion and the sad mood you created here. Well done! Marginal note: My only critique is about the flat sound and the choice of instruments. Since the piano plays the lead it could come a little bit clearer and more volumnous. Did you think about replacing the software guitar (it's pretty hard to get an authentic sound) and experience with alternate strings?

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the piano could be a little louder. Theres no software guitar in it :- but I plan on adding acoustic gut and some light acoustic drums or other percussion (not MIDI, of course)

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The world is listening friends, make some noise.<br> -Aaron Burch<br><a href="http://myspace.com/thegoodcheer">The Good Cheer</a>

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ohhh are you talking about the bass?

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The world is listening friends, make some noise.
-Aaron Burch
The Good Cheer

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sorry, of course it's the bass i was talking about.

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Ya, I would prefer acoustic bass, but this was pretty much a MIDI experiment/messing around (and the other small problem of me not having a bass haha)

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The world is listening friends, make some noise.
-Aaron Burch
The Good Cheer

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... i guess, the most important thing to focus is the idea ;)

btw. i have the same problem (of not having acoustical instruments and the skills to handle them) and it's pretty hard (if not impossible) to simulate acoustical instruments authentically.

keep up the good work ...

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I dig the theme. It has something .. it is interesting.
Will it become longer? I think it has the potential for a second part with an alternating theme, which then comes back to this theme.

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If you want to improve the song write some lyrics for it because I don't think it stands alone. But, musically it's very good.
Are you shy about singing?
Can't come up with words?
Drop me a line if you need some help.
Ready, willing and able.....I think.
LL

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You CAN sing, just heard some of your other stuff.
Why don't you put some lyrics on it then?
LL

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ill try it. I'm at my dads house all week and all my mics and interfaces are at my moms house. It will happen eventually

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The world is listening friends, make some noise.
-Aaron Burch
The Good Cheer

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I agree on all of alexweiler's points; this has much potential. I'd maybe even suggest slowing down the tempo a bit, too. It sounds a tad rushed for some reason, given the mood and description. I like the very unexpected movement in this that shows up in certain parts. A little refining and a bit more dynamics (crescendo/decrescendo, flow, fluidness, detail, depth, movement...) and this has wonderful potential!

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And this is the most poignant, insightful song title I've come across on MacJams.

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