Chords Asunder 0.1

chikoppi

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This is a piece I've been working on for the Voice4Choice challenge. I've come to a point in the process that I just can't step away from the song well enough to judge where it is and where I should take it next.

I'm looking for some hard and unvarnished critique of the track so far - both what works and what doesn't as well as any subjective reactions you'd like to share.

I intend to delete this mix when I post the final version, so there's no need to be shy with comments. I really need some creative feedback!

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Song Stats

Hits: 892
Comments: 17
Fans: 7
Plays: 86
Downloads: 67
Votes:
Uploaded: Aug 19, 2007 - 01:26:46 AM
Last Updated: Aug 19, 2007 - 01:26:46 AM Last Played: Oct 26, 2009 - 05:07:34 PM

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Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

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Comments

Reinholt56	Reinholt56 said 826 days ago (August 19th, 2007)
	I enjoyed listening to this version.... The only comment I have about the mix is that, to me. the whole sounded a bit 'mushy'. Some more production, to make things 'crisper' would be me 5 pence worth. Apart from that it all works well together. Take care. Paul. Check out my latest song called Celestial Mechanics #2

chikoppi

chikoppi said 826 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

[R]
I think I understand what you mean by "mushy" and I believe it comes from 1) over compression, 2) the bass tone, and 3) lack of cymbals or other high presence rhythm elements. I'll definitely work on it for the next mix. Thank you for commenting!

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jamorama

jamorama said 826 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

my impressions
My feeble brain was confused at the beginning of the song -- I just couldn't find the straight-ahead rhythm of the piece for the first thirty seconds, until the percussion started, then I could relax and listen.

The ending was jarring to me.

The SECOND listening was MUCH easier going, since I already understood the rhythmic logic of it.

I like it.

Check out my latest song called Longing - with SISTERS - from a SinJams solo

chikoppi

chikoppi said 826 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

[R]
Thank you! That is exactly the sort of comment I need at this point. I've just heard the song too many times to hear it fresh again and cannot put myself in the shoes of a first-time listener. The rhythm definitely staggers a bit and I'll take a look at either reinforcing the downbeat, adding rhythmic foreshadowing to the intro, or both. I don't want a straight 4/4, but neither do I want an unwieldy groove to pull the rug out from under the listener.

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bud

bud said 826 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

I really like where you've taken this
the slow steady tones are really quite beautiful and stately - and I like the way you worked Richard's vocals into the mix. The different precessing he gets is very cool - I suppose you could take it further near the point of disintegration, but I'm reaching for ideas here. Honestly I think it sounds great the way it is.

Check out my latest song called eye for you (w/particledots and michael2)

chikoppi

chikoppi said 826 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

[R]
Thanks Bud! Oddly enough, I didn't start out aiming at slow and stately, but that's where the vocals kept leading me. The vocal effects are a lot of fun, if a little tough to massage into a mix, and I'm hoping to find one or two more en route to completing this project.

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composerclark

composerclark said 826 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

Unorthodox but captivating
(I actually started this comment several hours ago, then was overtaken by life for a while...)

You capture my attention right away with the spacey, resonant sounds at the beginning, and I like the fact that you're harmonizing this traditional melod in an unexpected way. Lots of cool sonic effects too. Basically, you're giving a conventional tune an original and unconventional treatment, which I think is a really great idea. I'm not convinced by the vocal processing though; it's interesting (but slightly disconcerting) at the start, but I'm not sure it's a great idea to keep it going for the entire song; it has kind of a harsh quality. Maybe a way to approach this would be to begin with the processed vocal sound, but gradually move away from it so that you end up with the pure sound at the end? And, if you like that idea, the harmonization could become gradually more "pure", or at least different, as the song progressed... just an idea!

Hope this is useful!

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chikoppi

chikoppi said 825 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

[R]
Yeah, I'm working on a "pause" button for life in order to make more time for music and other personal pursuits, but the components are hard to come by!

I take your meaning regarding the vocal effects. Even unusual processing can become stale when there is too little variety. I'll look for a way to add some substantive contrast with a treatment that isn't so shredded. Thanks for the feedback!

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Check out my latest song called Loop It or Lose It 9

_nderscore

_nderscore said 826 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

thots from a brain on morning coffee..
i agree with jamo about the intro-needs some kind of hook or reference of things to come (& i know you have this in you). the tune gets too slow in spots for me-i'd love to hear something at faster speed breaking in & setting up an overall rhythm for the song.

some of the sounds are 'cold', the lower bass hits warm it up a bit, but it feels like it needs more to make it 'glow'. i'm lovin the 2 levels of fuzziness on the vox, but i keep wanting your voice to break entirely free from the FX. maybe that could give the sound a better sense of clarity.

hope this helps & sorry i'm getting this thru soundbuds. keep on it.. it's sounding good

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chikoppi

chikoppi said 825 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

[R]
First, credit where due, that's Rich Schletty under all the distortion!

I think I understand what you refer to by "coldness" and "glow." I have a habit of emphasizing harmonics over fundamental tones, which strips warmth out of instruments and weakens the mix to boot. Something to work on. Maybe I need to remix the guitar or add another voice with a pure mid-range tone.

Rhythmically I think I need more than the bass and snare, including more variety between sparse and dense, as you suggest. Maybe once I sort this out I can come up with a better concept for the intro - more focused and engaging. And more "Rich-ness" from the vocals!

Thanks for the notes - spot-on and and very useful!

---
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echoroom

echoroom said 825 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

Disturbia
I didnt mind the intro actually - the song sounds like it slots into place out of chaos. Something about the vocal doesnt quite sit right - I dunno if its the effects or what - the vocal melody sounds quite odd over this backing... may just be how its sitting in the mix. The end is a little too abrupt.

Musically, this is a great piece chikoppi - dense and eeire.

Steve

Check out my latest song called Deeper (w/t Racerat)

chikoppi

chikoppi said 825 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

[R]
I get what you mean about the vocals. The progression is a bit unusual for the melody and the bass has some odd inversions. With roughly 30 other renditions of the song I went looking for the askew. Actually, now that you put a finger on it I might take a second look at the bass and see if I can't pull it a bit more toward the natural harmony. And you're right, the song definitely needs a proper ending - I just don't know where I'm going yet!

Thanks for the feedback!

---
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Check out my latest song called Loop It or Lose It 9

Mcboy	Mcboy said 825 days ago (August 19th, 2007)
	yeah some harmonic sheen is needed......i'd let the vocal come some shades clearer....... vocal drowned into much efx.......i 'd add some choroused flanged guitars to spice the ryhthm some.....i like the minimalist concept .....with some polish .....and efected guitars (maybe)....this will sound kool..... Check out my latest song called Heros( aclarke/mcboy)

chikoppi

chikoppi said 825 days ago (August 19th, 2007)

[R]
Knowing your great voicing and modal skills I'm assuming that by "harmonic sheen" you are refering to chordal variations (the composition of the harmony) rather than EQ. I agree! I really love songs with complex colors, twists, and momentum in the harmony. I just don't have the musical chops to hack it.

I'll take another look. Maybe I can find some chord substitutions to spice things up or another voice to introduce some counterpoint.

I also take your point about the rhythm. Much too monotonous in this version. Thanks!

---
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Check out my latest song called Loop It or Lose It 9

	said 825 days ago (August 19th, 2007)
	Great listen I like the opening confusion then the beat and reshletty's vocal almost megaphoned! I this the only thing i could critique is the fact that it needs seperation also the synth is very loud in the mix. To me It works either way.

Doadars Uncle	Doadars Uncle said 823 days ago (August 21st, 2007)
	Real cool! This one makes me happy! I like the transitions and the texture! Check out my latest song called Capitalist's Drag

rjamadeus	rjamadeus said 822 days ago (August 22nd, 2007)
	hey ! i'm not into the feedback in the beginning but i love the key's, but after the first verse i thing everything seems to flow much better. i like the percussion throughout the song. talk about someone who can think outside the box tho, great stuff chikoppi. Check out my latest song called can't get the blues

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Artist Info

Name: ippokihc

Chikoppi... pronounced similar to "I go free" I'm a marketing consultant based in Chicago. I help small and mid-size companies transform into top market competitors. I also help large organizations manage internal communications and maximize... [see more]

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Industrial music is a loose term for a number of different styles of electronic and experimental music. First used in the mid 1970s to describe the then-unique sound of Industrial Records artists, a wide variety of artists and labels have since come

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