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Gone by clwedel [Email]

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SONG STATS:
Hits: 288
Comments: 6
Votes: 2
Plays: 24
Last Played: Aug 05, 2008 - 07:42:33 PM
Downloads: 0
Fans: 1
Uploaded: Sep 04, 2007 - 06:59:58 AM
Last Updated: Nov 12, 2007 - 08:26:51 AM
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Keywords:
gone (23), grief (7), missing (14), someone (3)
Description:
This is a song I wrote about my sister who died when we were 17

Lyrics:
Gone

I used to think my life was great, I used to have all I wanted,
but it changed one day.
I grew so far away from her not really knowing her for real
She tried to tell me but I didn’t hear.
I was too wrapped up in my own life,
To even notice somebody else.

Bang! I know it, something’s wrong
Know the signs hear the song
‘cuz before you know it, it’ll come to show
They’ll be good as gone.

I learned my lessons, grown since then
And I count all of my blessings, and I’ve changed my ways
Some say don’t take things for granted cuz they’ll not always be there
We all do it, but I blame myself
I was too wrapped up in my own life,
To even notice somebody else.

Bang! I know it, something’s wrong
Know the signs hear the song
‘cuz before you know it, it’ll come to show
They’ll be good as gone.

When somebody cries don’t just hear,
Listen to their words, thoughts, and fears,
I guess I was just too young, too naïve to know
It’s too late for that, away she goes
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well u had my foot tapping &mdash 09/04/07 - 07:08:08 AM
good structure and i like the strings buildup!! just maybe my own preference but maybe a bit more passion and emotion in your vocals would really give the song a bit more but i must admit i love, i really loved the ending buildup... well done ;)

[ Reply to This ]
i enjoy tapping my foot...good exercise &mdash 09/04/07 - 08:42:29 AM
thanks! yeah, i need to work on that....emotion thing...

im glad you like it :)

[ Reply to This ]
Yeah... &mdash 09/04/07 - 11:50:54 PM
...this is really good in many ways.

It has some really interesting sections playing off each other - it shifts into the chorus nicely, and the drop out afterwards with the little piano motif works well.

Your baacking vocals are woking well on the whole and you obviously have a knack for song structure. The build up to the end is excellent.

Similar to nevermines comment I think your vox are a little dry in places - but this is something to work on. Also, the bass sound you have seems a little 'robotic' -perhaps something softer would work.

Hope you don't mind these very minor crits.

Very good work on the whole,
Phil

[ Reply to This ]
crits... &mdash 09/05/07 - 08:20:01 AM
wow, thank you so much, that was a very nice and helpful review, I will for sure take this into consideration!

[ Reply to This ]
Way to go Mr, Charles &mdash 09/16/07 - 10:42:38 AM
This is an excellent song. Great Lyrics and beautiful harmonies. I agree that the vocal could use a little more feeling, it sounded mechanical in a way.

You might try changing the bass by alternating between 2 or more different instrument sounds along with the structure of the bass line, just a little to give it a more dynamic bottom end to the song.

Altogether, an excellent song the just needs a little tweaking to make it a great piece of music all the way around.

Ed

[ Reply to This ]
feelings... &mdash 09/16/07 - 01:01:34 PM
Hi, and thanks for your comment! Yeah I actually just remixed it and will be putting up the new version shortly, I think its more balanced now. Thanks and good luck!

[ Reply to This ]
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