got that bell sound in back makes me think of CA

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I can see California, but I was kind of thinking Caribbean when I added the sound. Either way, it works. :)

Thanks for listening.

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Wonderful tune and a great set of lyrics well sung. I really like the slightly swamped keyboard/vibes sound in the background - and the backing vocals are the perfect touch. Who do you have back there - is that all you? Excellent!

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I've cloned myself so we can do all the backing vocals for my tunes live. It was much easier that way. :)

The lyrics came from the same process that so many of my songs have come from - some one pissed me off and I went out and started cutting grass. What can I say, the creative process is an interesting one.

Glad you liked the tune. Thanks for stopping by.

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Excellent ...awesome singin and guitar pickin
singin a long song .. the song and its structre
just give me the sence this can be made with
dylanisque accent ..is it me or I m just liking
this too much ...KUDOS my friend !

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The accent is actually my good ole Southern accent which I normally try to cover up. But it came through with a vengeance on this one. I appreciate your comments very much. Thanks for listening.

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Love the vocals on this one...especially the harmonies... a great song!
Cheers
Steve

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Thanks for taking the time to listen Steve. I appreciate it. Glad you liked the tune.

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Very nice song, the guitar sounds really great and wonderfully played, the vocal fits the tone and very nice. Very great job with the mixing (the solos in the background) with another effects ! Enjoyed

Take Care
==============
Yeman Auf Al-Rawi

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I'm loving Logic Express more and more for mixing. Still don't like to record with it, but I'm hoping Logic Studio will make that easier.

Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. It's much appreciated.

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Great song, I was listening to it while...nevermind...good song :)

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Don't keep us in suspense....

Oh, nevermind....

Thanks for listening. Glad you enjoyed it.

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I was sitting here thinking the chorus needed some harmonies.. a la The Band or like some of the 70's Stones stuff (Think Faraway Eyes)...then I hear the chorus about halfway through and say "yeah, like that!"

Good song- like the tale you spin as well. Production sounds good. Song has does have that Jimmy Buffet/ Caribbean kind of sound. Missing only some real steel drums.

Nicely executed!

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I was actually humming a harmony on the first verse while I was listening- ironically your harmonies sounded exactly like what I was hearing in my head. Too funny!

---
"An honest man's pillow is his peace of mind." John Mellencamp

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I actually had The Eagles' "Lyin' Eyes" going though my head while I worked on this one. That was kind of the inspiration for the harmonies and the sound. There's also definitely some Buffet in there. I'd love to have some decent steel drums. I've messed with the GB steel drums and, while not bad, not really what I wanted, so I just used a piano with chorus and rotary vibraphones an octave lower. Works for me.

Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment, Adam. I appreciate it. Glad you like the song.

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Great track, great vox, but those lyrics ... i didnt know whether to laugh or cry - great stuff!

steve

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I pretty much didn't know whether to laugh or cry either, so I wrote a song instead.

Thanks for listening.

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Y'put up a fine show here Joe. Me - they don't call me 'bonnie' for nothin'. Guess I'm too pretty to be a pretty boy. Nice tune. Y'all be lucky.

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I think it's a matter of thinking you're too pretty as opposed to actually being too pretty. Either that or it's having perfectly coifed hair. I think it's probably the hair.

Thanks for the listen. 'Preciate it.

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The Andrew McCarthys of this world really do cause a lot of havoc, don't they? I think this could be the theme song to the sequel to Pretty in Pink, because you just know that it didn't work out with Blaine and Andie after Prom Night and who was left to pick up the pieces? That's right, Duckie, the guy she should have gone with in the first place.

These lyrics are great, because you express the frustration in the situation very well, but your kindness and forgiving nature comes through very strongly by the end. I really dig the bassline as usual, but the Caribbean sound is great and really adds a nice feel to the song, takes it out of the country vibe a bit.

"Come around to me and I'll dry your eyes." That's pretty much you in a nutshell, isn't it?" :-p

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I have a feeling Duckie eventually got tired of picking up the pieces after Andi ran off with Blaine, and decided that the other girl was much more fun. So, once Andi realizes she screwed up by snubbing Duckie for a guy who is named after a major appliance (and probably still lived with his mother well into his 20s), she thinks that she can just come back to Duckie like it's no big deal. But, hopefully Duckie, by that time, is having much, much more fun with the girl from the prom.

I seem to have a never ending supply of hankies just for eye drying. :-)

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Lived with his mother? You don't say. ;-)

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I was singing along to this with that early Bob Dylan kind of accent, vocal style and it seemed to work really well. Kind of the "Positively 4th Street" style.

Anyway, good song.

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This is a really nice song. Great lyrics sung well. Love your bass lines and percussion. Bravo!

Be well!

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it's beautiful!!!

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What you have here is a good song in need of some production and mixing changes. The song is actually very good lyrically, but the music behind it is much to busy and loud. I don't know if you used a compressor on the final mix, but if you did then it's compressed to the point of losing all the dynamics of the music.

If you didn't use compression, then you need to rethink how you mixed it and bring down some of the rhythm tracks and spread them out in the stereo field to make more room for your very good lyrics to shine through. You might also want to bring the Bass line up a little to give drive and energy to the song that lowering the rhythm tracks will take away. Being that the Bass line is in a different register than to vocal and harmonies, it will drive the song without covering the vocals.

Don't get me wrong, I love the song. But to make it really shine you just need to tweak the mix some. I hope this helps.

As always, please take my comments in the way they are intended, to help make a good song into a great song.

Respectfully

Ed

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A great song Joseph! I really enjoyed this, and the lyrics are just fantastic. Your voice is very good for this song. The Harmonies are cool. Thanks!

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still checking your catalog and finding some great music..and this one is just another...

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This song doesn't work for me lyrically or musically. Lyrically, it's 20 years or more dated. Today's country music is very conversational and very authentic. You won't find country folks having this conversation.

There are "Dr. Seuss" rhymes throughout this song (heart/part; day/way; face/place, etc.). Nothing wrong with "perfect rhymes" and sometimes they are the best choice, but alot of these here are very uninspired. You want to find interesting ways to deliver your story. You are telling the oldest story in the book here - been told thousands and thousands of times before (in fact, it's been told thousands of times precisely as you've told it here). You need to deliver a fresh take on the same old story!

Musically, there is not much variation. Granted, it could be the mix is hampering the melody quite a bit, but the melody is pretty bland. The chorus, while it may go up a bit, doesn't "soar" or do anything to grab the listener. It's pretty much more of the same.

The bridge? Were it me, I'd blow it up! There's an old joke about the songwriter who asks his songwriting mentor, "Is my bridge too long?" and the mentor replies "Yes!" (without even taking the time to look at or listen to the bridge). The bridge here is virtually indistinguishable from the verses (which are nearly indistinguishable from the chorus), doesn't take the song anywhere it hasn't already been, and does nothing to move the song forward. On the bright side, no issue with perfect rhymes here (but some sort of rhyme would have been nice)!

I can see a bit of the "Lyin' Eyes" influence here, but without the melodic changes and not even a hint of the very interesting and compelling lyrical treasures found throughout that classic!

It isn't my agenda to "trash" this song or any other song here. I do think it is meaningful, however, to offer critical feedback to one another if we are to grow as songwriters and improve our craft.

But maybe that isn't what others are looking for here?
Anyhow, I mean no disrespect. I am very passionate about songwriting and as one who has pitched numerous songs to Nashville, I am altogether too familiar with unbiased, untempered feedback. It is my hope that by offering the same style of constructive criticism, others may reach a bit deeper down and bring forth a level of effort to their songwriting that they perhaps have not previously aspired to.

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