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Scariest Song EVER! [Explicit] by slumbering [Email]
Genre: Showtunes

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Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial
SONG STATS:
Hits: 697
Comments: 12
Votes:
Plays: 85
Last Played: Oct 07, 2008 - 12:02:30 AM
Downloads: 48
Fans: 11
Uploaded: Oct 06, 2007 - 03:20:41 PM
Last Updated: Oct 08, 2007 - 03:31:54 AM
Fan List
Keywords:
Johnson (17), Mr. Johnson (2), kindly (4), kindliest (4), old man (7), dinner (7), guests (2), dine (1), masturbate (4), masturbates (4), masturbation (4), wank (4), wanks (4), wanked (2), wanker (6), cum (4), come (12), jism (4), sploogey (3), semen (3), sticky (4), hands (9), wash (4), bop (4), bopping (1), scary (28), scariest (2), beat (92)
Description:
This is an updated version of my scary song. I added drums, bass, and the Boldt violin. It is the boppingest version.

It seems a different behaving site and i wasnt sure if i'd be able to replace the original with this, which is what i'd like to have done. I'd had to reuploade a couple of my songs when i was first uploading songs.

But, i really wanted to add this new version because i think that it is closer to what i imagined. The original, i felt nice with, as it was so simple but really i wanted more of a bounce and movement.

Lyrics:
Mr. Johnson is a kindly old man
He wears the finest clothes in the land
And he'll never pass you by without taking your hand
Mr. Johnson is the kindliest old man

He has guests for dinner almost every night
And they have wine and dine by candlelight
Mr. Johnson is truly a generous man
He's the kindliest old man in the land

But there's something that i cannot help but say
Mr. Johnson masturbates both night and day
He wanks until it's nearly chafed away
He wanks it until both his arms turn gray

"That is no concern of ours!"
You may well say,
"How can you speak of him in such a way?!
He's the loveliest man in all the land!
MR. JOHNSON IS THE KINDLIEST OLD MAN!"

There is something that you must understand
Yes, there's something that you must understand:
Mr. Johnson never washes his hands!!!


Hardware:
PowerBook Ti 800Mhz
MBP SR 2.4Ghz
Yamaha PSR-273
Blue Snowball Mic



Software:
GarageBand 2
GarageBand 4.1 (or '08)
Audacity 1.3.3
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Scary indeed &mdash 10/06/07 - 03:48:17 PM
Eww, blimey, how long did it take you to come up (so to speak) with those keywords?

Your audio quality has taken a huge leap forward ... is this one done on your lovely new Mac? Your voice is always a delight, Slumby!

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RE: Scary indeed &mdash 10/06/07 - 04:41:31 PM
Hehe, coming up with the keywords was half the fun, half the reason i put the song up, in fact!

The song was originally done on my old computer and with an earlier version of GB. For this new version, i opened the original .band file and added drums, bass, and violin (using GB 4 and the new 'puter).

---
What kind of message am i sending to your children?!

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Forgot &mdash 10/08/07 - 05:03:03 AM
to thank you for the compliments, which fill my heart.


---
What kind of message am i sending to your children?!

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I just love... &mdash 10/07/07 - 04:40:30 AM
... the keywords list! Nice one M - I'm just so glad "Mr Jones" doesn't fit. :-)

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RE: I just &mdash 10/08/07 - 03:38:40 AM
Thanks, Dava, i love them, too!

And i don't think you need to worry, i don't think i have ever heard the name Jones used as a euphemism for... well... you know.

This may or may not be appropriate but i am sure that my long-ago love wouldn't mind - his name was/is John Thomas. Really! A lot of people called hitm JT, but i called him Johnny. We used to laugh a lot about that.

---
What kind of message am i sending to your children?!

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HE &mdash 10/09/07 - 07:20:49 PM
needs some wet naps! very funny song enjoyed this one. Now I think Ill slam the ham! just kiddin great song!

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Hahaha! :D &mdash 10/10/07 - 03:00:53 AM
I am glad you enjoyed it that much!

:D

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Brilliant! &mdash 10/10/07 - 07:11:39 AM
Excellent lyrics - I read them and laughed out loud before I'd even heard the song ( there was something about the keywords made me look at the lyrics first!)

This has such a wonderful cabaret feel to it and your vocals are spot on with a warped fairy tale quality that belies the fact that the song turns out to be about a grubby little pervert! It's a Brothers Grimm tale for the 21st Century.

You ought to make a video and stick it on YouTube - this is such a performance/theatrical song, it just cries out to be seen.

KK


PS - I was surprised to see an American using the term 'Wanker' maybe there's hope for the world after all!

[ Reply to This ]
Thank you! : ) &mdash 10/10/07 - 10:47:26 AM
That is a great compliment, especially coming from you! I'm not worthy!

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;-) &mdash 10/10/07 - 01:50:09 PM
What kind of message am i sending to your children?!

we are all children =)



Me
_______
Ghost

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:) &mdash 10/10/07 - 03:46:38 PM
Martyn's video idea sounds good ... until you think it through ;)

Love the song and your performance - very cabaret for sure.
Neil

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Cleanliness is next to godliness &mdash 10/27/07 - 07:38:07 PM
As they say...

I really enjoyed this..

Very nice tuneful scariness

b

[ Reply to This ]
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