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The Unsettling Case of Mr. Johnson

[Explicit]
by

slumbering

 Genre: Showtunes

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Description
This is an updated version of my scary song. I added drums, bass, and the Boldt violin. It is the boppingest version.

It seems a different behaving site and i wasnt sure if i'd be able to replace the original with this, which is what i'd like to have done. I'd had to reuploade a couple of my songs when i was first uploading songs.

But, i really wanted to add this new version because i think that it is closer to what i imagined. The original, i felt nice with, as it was so simple but really i wanted more of a bounce and movement.
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Lyrics
Mr. Johnson is a kindly old man
He wears the finest clothes in the land
And he'll never pass you by without taking your hand
Mr. Johnson is the kindliest old man

He has guests for dinner almost every night
And they have wine and dine by candlelight
Mr. Johnson is truly a generous man
He's the kindliest old man in the land

But there's something that i cannot help but say
Mr. Johnson masturbates both night and day
He wanks until it's nearly chafed away
He wanks it until both his arms turn gray

"That is no concern of ours!"
You may well say,
"How can you speak of him in such a way?!
He's the loveliest man in all the land!
MR. JOHNSON IS THE KINDLIEST OLD MAN!"

There is something that you must understand
Yes, there's something that you must understand:
Mr. Johnson never washes his hands!!!
Song Stats
Hits: 4075
Comments: 17
Fans: 13
Plays: 135
Downloads: 175

Uploaded: Oct 06, 2007 - 03:20:41 PM
Last Updated: Feb 21, 2010 - 10:03:50 PM Last Played: Mar 27, 2017 - 12:05:27 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
PowerBook Ti 800Mhz
MBP SR 2.4Ghz
Yamaha PSR-273
Blue Snowball Mic

Software:
GarageBand 2
GarageBand 4.1 (or '08)
Audacity 1.3.3
Comments
Rebsie said 3640 days ago (October 6th, 2007)
Scary indeed
Eww, blimey, how long did it take you to come up (so to speak) with those keywords?

Your audio quality has taken a huge leap forward ... is this one done on your lovely new Mac? Your voice is always a delight, Slumby!
Check out my latest song called Amongst The Colours (w/ Luna Trick)
slumbering said 3640 days ago (October 6th, 2007)
RE: Scary indeed
Hehe, coming up with the keywords was half the fun, half the reason i put the song up, in fact!

The song was originally done on my old computer and with an earlier version of GB. For this new version, i opened the original .band file and added drums, bass, and violin (using GB 4 and the new 'puter).

---
What kind of message am i sending to your children?!
Check out my latest song called Over the Sea
slumbering said 3638 days ago (October 8th, 2007)
Forgot
to thank you for the compliments, which fill my heart.


---
What kind of message am i sending to your children?!
Check out my latest song called Over the Sea
davajonah said 3639 days ago (October 7th, 2007)
I just love...
... the keywords list! Nice one M - I'm just so glad "Mr Jones" doesn't fit. :-)
Check out my latest song called Lost and Found
slumbering said 3638 days ago (October 8th, 2007)
RE: I just
Thanks, Dava, i love them, too!

And i don't think you need to worry, i don't think i have ever heard the name Jones used as a euphemism for... well... you know.

This may or may not be appropriate but i am sure that my long-ago love wouldn't mind - his name was/is John Thomas. Really! A lot of people called hitm JT, but i called him Johnny. We used to laugh a lot about that.

---
What kind of message am i sending to your children?!
Check out my latest song called Over the Sea
said 3637 days ago (October 9th, 2007)
HE
needs some wet naps! very funny song enjoyed this one. Now I think Ill slam the ham! just kiddin great song!
slumbering said 3636 days ago (October 10th, 2007)
Hahaha! :D
I am glad you enjoyed it that much!

:D
Check out my latest song called Over the Sea
Komrade K said 3636 days ago (October 10th, 2007)
Brilliant!
Excellent lyrics - I read them and laughed out loud before I'd even heard the song ( there was something about the keywords made me look at the lyrics first!)

This has such a wonderful cabaret feel to it and your vocals are spot on with a warped fairy tale quality that belies the fact that the song turns out to be about a grubby little pervert! It's a Brothers Grimm tale for the 21st Century.

You ought to make a video and stick it on YouTube - this is such a performance/theatrical song, it just cries out to be seen.

KK


PS - I was surprised to see an American using the term 'Wanker' maybe there's hope for the world after all!
Check out my latest song called Urra Moor/The Leckie/Reel CJ/Willafjord
slumbering said 3636 days ago (October 10th, 2007)
Thank you! : )
That is a great compliment, especially coming from you! I'm not worthy!
Check out my latest song called Over the Sea
Schello said 3636 days ago (October 10th, 2007)
;-)
What kind of message am i sending to your children?!

we are all children =)



Me
_______
Ghost
Check out my latest song called Snozz'en (Cronik Mix)
jiguma said 3636 days ago (October 10th, 2007)
:)
Martyn's video idea sounds good ... until you think it through ;)

Love the song and your performance - very cabaret for sure.
Neil
Check out my latest song called We End Up Being All The Same (42)
said 3619 days ago (October 27th, 2007)
Cleanliness is next to godliness
As they say...

I really enjoyed this..

Very nice tuneful scariness

b
LunaTrick said 3065 days ago (May 4th, 2009)
Superb
Love the Eastern European march feel... delicious!
Check out my latest song called Luna Gypsy Heart II (Eternal Firelight)
T_Being_esq said 3064 days ago (May 4th, 2009)
Very
Brecht. Superb.
Check out my latest song called Metal Cajun Swap Gas
abitran128 said 2941 days ago (September 4th, 2009)
Cool Song
Very theatrical piece. The effect you use on the voice really adds a creepy feel to it from the start, which i really liked. I also liked that you added harmonies at the end on the last line, which seemed to emphasize it. Enjoyed!
Check out my latest song called Post-Nuclear Stone Age
papag said 2460 days ago (December 29th, 2010)
Bueno
Much to like...what's up with you now?

Thanks for the dl :)
Check out my latest song called Chinese Flutes (first draft)
HairyJohnson said 1266 days ago (April 6th, 2014)
spooky
love your voice ,fits the song perfectly
great arrangement as well,and well placed second harmony on last line
love it
Check out my latest song called Oh Girl
Artist Info
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Name: slumbering
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I love music and i love doing creative things. I just need to express myself in some way or other, i don't know why. Sometimes i want to be heard, other times i would like to completely disappear. : ( Forgive me if i do something wrong, i can b... [see more]

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