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Description:
one guitar track
two vocal tracks
two software instruments (fitch cello, and a continual background synth pad C)
one percussion track (beating on the back of my guitar)
How this song came about it somewhat strange. Short story being... I was practicing a song I had written a while back, hit a wrong chord and developed something quickly. For fun I decided to lay it down in garageband, this guitar track you hear is the first and only track (This is around 11 at night and had I only known then!)
Recently I have been listening to Rasa, Deva Premal, Jai Uttal, and Ravi Shankar. Deciding to confront my fear of singing, and always experiencing a creative block when trying to write lyrics and especially adding the lyrics to the music, I looked up sanskrit mantras. Finding the one that was easiest to say, I began to sing. What began at 11 pm developed into an enormous amount of melodious momentum and I stopped at nothing to finish it by 6 am.
Lyrics:
Om Nama Shivaya
“May the elements of this creation abide in me in full manifestation.” this mantra leads one powerfully toward spiritual maturity"
Hardware:
Internal Macbook microphone
Software:
Garageband
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rich waves... &mdash 02/29/08 - 11:09:00 PM
I like the way the cello ebbs and flows in and out slowly as you sing and play... I assume you are playing some/many of these instruments and singing? A little more information about what instruments & software you used would be helpful... but it is a nice uplifting piece, and your voice fits nicely. Welcome to Macjams.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
This is beautiful &mdash 03/01/08 - 04:58:42 AM
full of sentiment and passion to my ear. Your voice is so pleasantly caressing, and I feel a lot of positive energy coming out of this. I'm just sorry the quality of the recording isn't too good (is it all through the built-in mic?), but it's just a minor thing, something that would only make it all more beautiful. [ Reply to This ]
Om Nama Shivaya &mdash 03/01/08 - 02:56:19 PM
WOW ..what soft beautiful voice ..very nice
vocal work ...very folky very spheric !!!
and yes ..spiritual ...I jsut loved it
thnx alot for sharin this gem !! [ Reply to This ]
takes me &mdash 03/01/08 - 09:38:29 PM
away. i like the way it morphs into the percussive part. a wonderful 7 hours it was. [ Reply to This ]
i sing this barjan a lot &mdash 03/02/08 - 04:44:20 PM
and i was delighted to hear your take on it - it is lovely - what sort of guitar is that?? metal strings?? i'm up for lots more of your voice - brilliant - thank you [ Reply to This ]
btw &mdash 03/02/08 - 04:46:03 PM
i would really love a copy of this - did you not make one available coz you thought nobody would want it?????? [ Reply to This ]
Thank you &mdash 03/06/08 - 10:00:42 PM
So much for your comments. I genuinely have a fear of singing, so your encouragement has been wonderful. It is an acoustic guitar with metal strings, yes indeed. And I have not made downloads available because I am thinking about copyrighting my songs. I am all about giving away free music, because music is supposed to be enjoyed by everyone, so perhaps I will set it to be downloaded soon. [ Reply to This ]
Welcome to MJ! &mdash 03/06/08 - 10:16:10 PM
Nice balance between instruments and vocals. The guitar feels a little too forward to my ear, but that's such a subjective thing. I also like the ebbs and flows as drakonis described. Your voice is lovely - keep it up! [ Reply to This ]
Really good ideas and potential &mdash 03/06/08 - 10:22:03 PM
You asked for constructive criticism, so please don't get me wrong here - this is a good song and your performances are also good. It's the production that lets you down a bit.
Using the pinhole mic, you are unlikely to get a good sound to start with. Considering that's what you used, it is interesting to imagine how good you'd sound with a reasonable mic. I'm not an expert at cheap mics, but a question in the forums should soon get you some useful information.
As far as your mix goes, it would be good to do some fiddling with panning instruments across the sound stage more - for example, the guitar could be sent slightly left and the cello slightly right to add interest - at the moment it sounds pretty well mono.
You could also consider panning one vocal track slightly left and one slightly right (but not the same amount of pan as the instrument tracks - either use more or less to see what sounds right to you).
For a first post this is really good, and I'm looking forward to hearing how you sound a few posts down the line. With support and guidance here it's possible to move great distances in the quality of your songs in a short time indeed.
Congratulations and welcome to MacJams!
Neil [ Reply to This ]
since you asked... &mdash 03/06/08 - 10:39:12 PM
I usually can come up with some sort of criticism and since you asked in your forum post, I'm happy to oblige here. This first song you've posted here on MacJams is quite a nicely flowing song, with a cool ambience in the vocal treatment and a sort of freely strummed guitar accompaniment. I dig the groove that you get into and it doesn't use loops or a strict timekeeper at all, it's just a natural time, and the timing works. That said, this is where I get technical. What doesn't work is the noise in the recording. You've got a nice ambience, but what ruins it is the whirring sound in the background, which is probably the MacBook's hard drive spinning being captured by the internal mic of the laptop. This recording is sort of painful for an audiophile to listen to. The guitar is loosely strummed, but it's borderline in tune, and either it's a sort of cheap guitar or it's not very well recorded because it sounds floppy and flat. What would help your recording a lot is an external microphone that is easier to position to capture the true sound of your guitar and voice, and reduce the pollution of the recording by external noise. This reminds me of a great live performance of a great singer recorded on a cheap recorder in a noisy coffeehouse, but instead of audience chatter, you have the computer's internal whirrs and hums clogging up the sound. Perhaps in your frenzy of recording late at night, the MacBook got a little overheated so the fan was going non-stop. If that's the case you should take frequent breaks to let the computer cool down. Or you should get an external mic, but maybe you can't afford one at the moment. That's certainly an understandable limitation. Sometimes you can filter out the higher frequencies with some judicious use of the EQ to minimize those types of sounds; that's certainly a good way to help out with that problem. The song is a bit repetitive, but that doesn't bother me. It might be nice to introduce some elements as the song goes on to spark some interest and to show some development in the song over time (which usually people expect).
So those are areas of criticism; I don't mean to discourage you at all because your voice and natural soul are right on the mark, but there is much room for improvement in your recording technique. [ Reply to This ]
big congrats &mdash 03/06/08 - 10:41:56 PM
on singing this song. i can't believe you did it on a laptop either!!
not sure why you made a separation between the 2 segments - the second stands out for me as stronger in both mix and emotion.
mantra sings are some of my favorites - and i applaud yours here.
you did a great job of confronting your fear - now you'll never be the same. beautiful job - anne
[ Reply to This ]
Well hello there &mdash 03/20/08 - 10:28:00 PM
Man, that makes me feel great! Because the internal mic is not that spectacular and I was pleased with how it came out considering the equipment and circumstances but overall was disapointed because of how it could potentially sound. As for the separation...well I recorded on guitar track and only one, with no intention of laying down and entire song 6-7 hours later, so I agree, the separation seems a little choppy and out of place but that one track became the entire structure of the song. I will rerecord this song eventually and I'll keep your comments as well as everyone elses in mind. Brilliant ideas here.
Thanks Anne, for taking the time and listening!
Namaste
on singing this song. i can't believe you did it on a laptop either!!
not sure why you made a separation between the 2 segments - the second stands out for me as stronger in both mix and emotion.
mantra sings are some of my favorites - and i applaud yours here.
you did a great job of confronting your fear - now you'll never be the same. beautiful job - anne
[ Reply to This ]
Thanks &mdash 03/20/08 - 10:34:56 PM
Hey Jim, glad you like the flow, and natural timing
Oh I know, the noise is awful. The guitar will be in tune next time. Got the external mic and interface hooked up so I should be good to go for my next sone and the re recording process of this song when I am feeling inspired to takle this one. frequent breaks, will do! have any advice on learning to use and understand the GB EQ? I will introduce new elements next time, advice noted. Thanks alot for listening and taking the time to comment.
Namaste
filter out the higher frequencies with some judicious use of the EQ to minimize those types of sounds; that's certainly a good way to help out with that problem. The song is a bit repetitive, but that doesn't bother me. It might be nice to introduce some elements as the song goes on to spark some interest and to show some development in the song over time (which usually people expect).
So those are areas of criticism; I don't mean to discourage you at all because your voice and natural soul are right on the mark, but there is much room for improvement in your recording technique [ Reply to This ]
Specific critique &mdash 03/07/08 - 07:51:01 AM
To add to my overall "enjoyment" of this "raw performance" description, per your request, here's a more specific critique for improvement.
The hiss in the recording is very distracting in the quiet passages, and can be fixed only by getting better recording equipment. The guitar sounds a little out of tune, and needs to be well tuned before recording. I like the choices of instruments, the cello drone, singing and guitar, all have their own ranges, so they don't interfere with each other. You seem to have a good sense for when to bring the instruments in, and back out, to keep interest in this otherwise very sonically static piece. You almost have a key change near the very end with the guitar, and I thought then... ooh, changing up a 3rd in the middle of the piece would be a good way to increase energy and keep momentum. Adding the drums partway through seemed like a random act of percussion... perhaps start with them, but low and slow, and use them to build as you progress through.
Those are my thoughts. I have tried singing and playing a dulcimer, and am such an amateur there I have no suggestions for live performance. I'm more of a music writer and mixer... but hope these thoughts are helpful. Again, welcome, and I came to MJ looking for this exact kind of interplay and feedback... I hope you offer me the same constructive thoughts on my works!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
hey drakonis &mdash 03/20/08 - 10:19:09 PM
Ah, excellente, I just got garageband in the mail.
This hiss is terrible, I agree, and Im hoping that this new addition to my macbook will be a noticeable improvement. The guitar will be tuned next time. So glad you like the blend of instruments. Good Good, Im fortunate to have a sense of something with the little experience (in song writing) I do have.
Ah the Key change. That was intended to be in the song! However I was experimenting and by the time I had to many tracks and to much invested in the experiment it was to late to go back (to late in the morning haha) to change anything and I left it the way it was. But that Key change is definitely a part of the ideal song I have in mind.
Hmm, I'll experiment with the percussion, though I do kind of like it the way it is.
thanks for your thoughts. all of the comments I have gotten have been great. =) [ Reply to This ]
Welcome to macjams - &mdash 03/07/08 - 08:37:40 AM
this is a great how-do-you-do. Really like your vocals and the whole structure of the piece. The pause and continuation feel to me like a big breath. Wonderful. [ Reply to This ]
hey &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:42:26 PM
Glad you approve of the structure, I was skeptical that it worked but as always, the comments i have received from here have been encouraging and helpful. Thanks for listening and Commenting.
Namaste!!! [ Reply to This ]
Nice little piece &mdash 03/07/08 - 10:34:07 AM
I like the meditative quality of it. You have a nice voice...you should look into getting a nicer mic. Even something like the Samson C01u (http://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/C01UCW/)would make a HUGE difference in the recording quality, and really let your voice and guitar come through. Very nice tune and concept. Welcome to MJ! [ Reply to This ]
hey &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:38:57 PM
I like the meditative quality of it. You have a nice voice...you should look into getting a nicer mic. Even something like the Samson C01u (http://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/C01UCW/)would make a HUGE difference in the recording quality, and really let your voice and guitar come through. Very nice tune and concept. Welcome to MJ!
A meditative quality was what I was going for! Glad you think my voice is worthy of recording, because I have struggled with my belief in it. I'll take a look at that mic, thanks. Thanks for listening and commenting.
NAMASTE! [ Reply to This ]
hey &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:39:07 PM
A meditative quality was what I was going for! Glad you think my voice is worthy of recording, because I have struggled with my belief in it. I'll take a look at that mic, thanks. Thanks for listening and commenting.
NAMASTE! [ Reply to This ]
I like... &mdash 03/07/08 - 10:40:29 AM
...the way you weave the sounds together in terms of volume/dynamics. Nice voice, too...
11:00-6:00...sounds like me...once I git goin'...
Nice...KEEP HAVING FUN and take advantage of the knowledge you gain here...I have...buy what you can afford to make the sound better and learn how to use what you've got to it's fullest potential... [ Reply to This ]
hey &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:36:30 PM
haha. Thanks for your welcome and your comments and taking the time to listen. I have learned a lot from here already. Great meeting so many musicians of like mind. [ Reply to This ]
From a Sanskrit student, &mdash 03/07/08 - 11:31:00 AM
your pronunciation of the mantra is mighty fine. The impromptu mixing here is pretty gritty and cool too. Who'd have thought of grunge kirtan! The guitar-tablas are a nice touch too.
If you think about remixing the levels on this one, look at bringing up the bass tones a little bit; you could really draw a listener in with a broader sound spectrum, though I know that internal mac mic has a really crappy frequency response.
Cool first offering.
Hari Om,
-greg [ Reply to This ]
hey there &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:34:23 PM
your pronunciation of the mantra is mighty fine. The impromptu mixing here is pretty gritty and cool too. Who'd have thought of grunge kirtan! The guitar-tablas are a nice touch too.
If you think about remixing the levels on this one, look at bringing up the bass tones a little bit; you could really draw a listener in with a broader sound spectrum, though I know that internal mac mic has a really crappy frequency response.
I actually gave the pronuciation a lot of thought afterward, funny that you bring it up because I was sure I had it wrong!
I think gritty is a perfect way to describe it. thanks for commenting on my tabla impersonation, i tried my best. Oh yes, I am definitely considering re recording this song and mixing the levels differently, so your constructive critism here will be put to good use, I agree with all that you have said here. Thanks for listening and commenting.
Namaste!
[ Reply to This ]
this advice &mdash 03/11/08 - 04:50:59 PM
is simply super. Everything I am taking into consideration, and hope that the next song I complete will meet these standards. Thanks eternally, for taking the time to listen and to give your honest critiques! Everyone had something very useful and wise to say and I appreciate the in depth posts.
Love to you all and.
Namaste. [ Reply to This ]
really nice &mdash 03/11/08 - 05:06:59 PM
everyone else already gave you he constructive criticism, so i am hear to praise your efforts. i really like this alot. i like the rawness of it as well, and your vocals are great. really beautiful piece. welcome to MJ and hope to see you around alot. [ Reply to This ]
thanks so much &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:29:58 PM
thanks so much Michael,
I really appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment, and I am blown away at all the comments I have gotten. You praising my efforts means a great deal and I hope to be around Macjams too. I Love this site.
Namaste! [ Reply to This ]
welcome &mdash 03/11/08 - 06:33:37 PM
at the moment i'm less concerned about technical recording details and instead i'm just blown away about how great this song is! great mood, great singing, great melody!
thank you very very much
[ Reply to This ]
hey &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:26:42 PM
Man, you made my day! I am really flattered that you think this. Im looking forward to recording with better equipment. thanks for listening and commenting.
Peace and Namaste
[ Reply to This ]
I really enjoyed the singing and thought your overall concept of the tune was very nice. &mdash 03/11/08 - 08:24:11 PM
I really enjoyed the singing and thought your overall concept of the tune was very nice.
Very interesting with that nice style singing. I think the strumming helped really get the feel of the singing as well.
Thanks for sharing
Great to have another female singer onboard here at MJ. Hope you upload more! [ Reply to This ]
hey there &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:24:39 PM
Thanks so much for listening and commenting. Im glad you liked certain elements of the song, like the strumming and the singing together. I am new to song writing and very very new to singing, so the feedback is great.
I am glad to be another MJ female!
Namaste.
[ Reply to This ]
What I found most interesting... &mdash 03/12/08 - 12:40:56 AM
is that the guitar has a blues sound mixed with the new age sound. I think it works.
Thanks for sharing. [ Reply to This ]
hey &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:21:43 PM
I love mixing genres and I did not think I was doing that with this song, but im glad you pointed this out to me. I need to listen to some blues, sorry to say that I do not, do you have any artists you would recommend? [ Reply to This ]
Welcome to MacJams &mdash 03/12/08 - 06:05:08 AM
I love the drone that runs through this ... I'm a big fan of drone-songs. :)
As Stooey says, there's a kind of bluesiness in the guitar which makes a nice counterfoil to the mantra. A tasty hybrid of different musical styles. [ Reply to This ]
hey there &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:15:47 PM
I am a big fan of Drone music too, very much so, and Hyrid genre music as well. I never thought of the guitar playing as bluesy, what a great tid bit of information.
Thanks for listening and commenting!
Namaste. [ Reply to This ]
Nicely Done &mdash 03/12/08 - 11:36:50 AM
You have a lovely voice, with a soft timbre and pleasing articulation. A good mic could be mind blowing.
The cello really complements the tone of your voice as well. Nice when one can find such a blend. [ Reply to This ]
wonderful &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:12:34 PM
Compliments and warm fuzzies
It is nice to know that my voice is capable of being recorded and recieved well, because I did not believe it was. I love cello's and hope to use them often so your words are much appreciated!
hooked up the good mic not to long ago so now I just have to get it working and I'm off!
You have a lovely voice, with a soft timbre and pleasing articulation. A good mic could be mind blowing.
The cello really complements the tone of your voice as well. Nice when one can find such a blend. [ Reply to This ]
Aforementioned Technical Issues Aside... &mdash 03/12/08 - 05:34:22 PM
Hey &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:07:19 PM
Loved It. &mdash 03/12/08 - 05:54:09 PM
Hi
I really enjoyed this very rich sound and your voice was simply beautiful
thank you so much for sharing this lovely song. Thank you.
Peace Dee. [ Reply to This ]
Dee &mdash 03/20/08 - 04:05:41 PM
Hey there Dee,
Your words are very encouraging and I am so glad you liked the song. I am going to try and sing more often, because of all the wonderful feedback I got from all the artists on here.
I listened to you music and I must thank YOU for commenting on my page so I could be directed to your wonderful page. It was a pleasure listening! [ Reply to This ]
This is great &mdash 03/21/08 - 12:16:03 AM
This is fantastic. Original sounding.
The guitar part and the singing blow me away. I don't think the technical limitations hamper it in any way, but then again I'm a Jandek fan.
keep em coming. [ Reply to This ]
Glad you think so. &mdash 03/22/08 - 03:06:13 PM
thanks a bunch for the compliments i am glad you like it. thank you for listening and commenting as well. =)
Namaste. [ Reply to This ]
Really dig your spiritualness &mdash 03/30/08 - 12:01:50 AM
Are you Eve? lucky world
I enjoy the experimentation and timelessness in this, across the valleys thru the mountains [ Reply to This ]
are you... &mdash 03/31/08 - 12:37:45 AM
Beautiful &mdash 03/31/08 - 04:55:53 AM
This is a beautiful piece of music. Your vocal is so flowing and sweet. It's been said already, but you should treat yourself to a better microphone. You've done a fantastic job with the resources you've got to hand but your current set up doesn't do your talent the justice it deserves. I'm looking forward to hearing more!
[ Reply to This ]
thanks &mdash 04/02/08 - 11:30:58 PM
thanks a lot! I actually have my interface and microphone now, so the next song should sound much better! Thanks for listening and commenting! [ Reply to This ]
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ttfn,
Drakonis
[ Reply to This ]