Scenario For Bloodshed

DeadPool

Genre: Rock

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Description

A song i did in garage band would love criticism and help on improving it. Also i havent used the track mastering so would like an opinion on what setting i should use.

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Lyrics

Chorus
Cant make the words fit
Are you getting over me
Are we crystal clear.

"She wrote
'i love you'
on the window pane"
is repeated too much in my view
and I'm glad
that this isnt about love,
but these days
I still cant look you in the eyes.

Tell me why you love and lie so tragic.

Chorus

She wrote
on the window pane
and I'm glad
but these days the thought of you wains

Chorus

I wish i
could write something
personal
in this space,
but at the
moment i feel
nothing for you

Song Stats

Hits: 436
Comments: 8
Fans: 1
Plays: 31
Downloads: 0
Votes: 3
Uploaded: Mar 26, 2008 - 02:32:48 PM
Last Updated: Mar 26, 2008 - 05:31:06 PM Last Played: May 17, 2008 - 10:37:19 AM

Song License

Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial

Song Actions

Comments

paddler

paddler said 609 days ago (March 26th, 2008)

..
This is great - every friday night I frequent a bikers pub - if this were a band,you'd be right at home there.Recordingwise - i'm not lucky enough to have it,but to my ears - though a pretty raw recording that suits the anger in the lyrics.The only critisicm I'd make is that it sounds like a f*** load of energy went into playing the instruments and the vocals (which are bloody excellent btw) and I'm not sure if the eq brings that out enough.The bass could be alot more powerful and things could be panned out a bit more.But I have an itunes playlist full of some of the weirdest recordings from around the planet and so I quite like to hear different degrees of lo/hi fi.Very enjoyable anyways - and a great contrast to the song I just put on here which is i'm afraid all a bit lovey-dovey.Still - makes a change from everything going tits up like usual,haha.Cheers Deadpool - Richard

Check out my latest song called Tiger Flame (Halloween Challenge)

paddler	paddler said 609 days ago (March 26th, 2008)
	.. (er not lucky enough to have garageband I mean't,soz.RG) Check out my latest song called Tiger Flame (Halloween Challenge)

kingbee

kingbee said 609 days ago (March 26th, 2008)

Welcome
Welcome to Macjams.
Hope you have fun here.
It's a good song. I like the feel of it and the changes are good and the drums fit in well.
It's difficult to say what changes to recommend.
Paddler is right in saying the bass could come up a bit and may be experiment with the panning.
saying that there's a bit when it dies down a bit and there's a good bit of panning from left to right so it's not like your ears are muddy.
maybe a clearer idea of the gear your using might help.
Is it all in GB or are you using external effects, stomp boxes etc?
It's a good first song to submit and it will be good to hear more of your stuff
cheers

Check out my latest song called Dr.Thunderball-Bond theme challenge

DeadPool said 609 days ago (March 26th, 2008)

Thanks for the comment
Thanks dude, yer ill be submitting a load more songs as i do them.

Im doing it all in GB, i own logic pro but its wont export or bounce so i need to reinstall it :/ (lost a disk tho)

I am plugging everything into the input on my macbook pro with a jack converter and the vocals are recorded by the iSight mic.

I know it isnt a great setup but it suits as a demo for my band, at a later date i will get these done professionally but i want to get them as sounding as good as i can atm.

So more panning, like any suggestions? what kinda numbers do u think?

Check out my latest song called Scenario For Bloodshed

kingbee

kingbee said 609 days ago (March 26th, 2008)

good demo
If you are just aiming for a good sounding demo to play to your band then you've done a great job.
I would just suggest that if you want slightly better sounding demos then you might want to splash out on a bit of new gear.
A designated audio controller will make all the difference.
For about £100 you can pick up a tascam us 122
http://www.soundslive.co.uk/product.asp?id=2452
and you should ( hopefully) find that your audio in sounds a lot clearer.
I suppose that would be my only comment that if things were a bit clearer going in they would sound better coming out..but it all come down to preferences.
Are you happy with it?
What would you do to make it sound the way you want it to?
Just bouncing a few ideas around.
cheers

Check out my latest song called Dr.Thunderball-Bond theme challenge

	DeadPool said 609 days ago (March 26th, 2008)
	Yer i guess Im pretty happy with it, im going to re do the vocals at some point when my voice is better, im a bit ill atm. Im just fiddling with panning atm. Thanks for your comments, i think i might invest in some equipment at a later date after my student loans in maybe :) Check out my latest song called Scenario For Bloodshed

MidiOrleans	MidiOrleans said 609 days ago (March 26th, 2008)
	Fun Did not need a microscope for this one m8! It sure gets the point out. Good that you calm down now and then with interlude like parts then you can go back into your tantrum even better! Cheers, scotty Check out my latest song called Calle del Maine

said 609 days ago (March 26th, 2008)

ok
good tune. nice use of heavy instruments. first off, multi-track more guitars. i generally will use 7-10 tracks of guitars. it simply makes more ooph. the vocals are good, considering your mic setup. play around with the reverbs and delays, as well as compression. i will generally record with a light compression on, and then use the de-esser for the finish mix. the drums need more eq to bring that pop out in your snare. try room reverbs for them also, like vocal room, drum room or bass in the room presets, and the tweak to taste. i like to reverb the individual tracks instead of the whole master track, because i can control how much goes where and to what instrument. sometimes, i dont even reverb vocals, just a slight, or tasty delay is enough. speaking of bass, i cant find any.... and as always, use compression in the master track as well. not too much, but a little to get the most volume as you can out of GB. one thing you might want to try doing is to import your GB tracks into logic, and master there, so you have more effect and compression options. great start, and welcome to MJs!!!
Allen Dean, Also check out my internet-based band, Montgomery California, here on macjams!

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