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Description
Song based on a Japanese mythological figure. It was an experiment - so let me know what you think. Thanks.
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Lyrics
ICE FLOWER
Yuki-onna
White princess, do you cry
When lonely tears, snow now falling?
Primal sorrow, what’s become?
Frozen tears, a mourner’s calling
Tragedy in banks of white
No relent, a dark foreboding
Pain of love, crystalline
Weeps for me, avalanche imploding
Goddess gentle, now ferocious
All is buried by the evening
Yet still she weeps, unrequited
Her deity of endless grieving
Abandoned there where all is shining
The frozen lake for lost love
Find someone else in the thawing
They’ll elope to the sun
When many winters merge together
I find myself on the shore
A silhouette marks the distance
But yesterday is nevermore
Yet still she stands ever shining
Time unravished in a cold sun
A lover spurned, my guilt’s companion
An icy beach on which to run
Kori-no-hana
Yuki-onna
White princess, do you cry
When lonely tears, snow now falling?
Primal sorrow, what’s become?
Frozen tears, a mourner’s calling
Tragedy in banks of white
No relent, a dark foreboding
Pain of love, crystalline
Weeps for me, avalanche imploding
Goddess gentle, now ferocious
All is buried by the evening
Yet still she weeps, unrequited
Her deity of endless grieving
Abandoned there where all is shining
The frozen lake for lost love
Find someone else in the thawing
They’ll elope to the sun
When many winters merge together
I find myself on the shore
A silhouette marks the distance
But yesterday is nevermore
Yet still she stands ever shining
Time unravished in a cold sun
A lover spurned, my guilt’s companion
An icy beach on which to run
Kori-no-hana
composerclark
Welcome to MacJams! It takes a while for people to get to know your music when you're new, but hopefully they will, and you start to get more comments.
Your description of this as 'gothic' certainly fits! It's got a dark, disturbing quality, the kind of music the would work very well in a horror film. But it also stands on its own very well.
There are some crunchy chords in your basic progression that contribute to this dark quality, as do the unexpected but equally affective (yes, affective, as in affecting your mood) and unpredictable chord changes that happen from time to time. That said, you also have a few secondary dominants in the progression, and they have the opposite quality in that they are so commonly used throughout the 400 year history of tonal music, that you know what the resolution is likely to be when your hear them. My own feeling -- and take it for what it's worth, because I'm sure others may not hear it this way -- is that it might be interesting to try a piece like this with very few, if any, predictable chord progressions, because it would constantly keep the listener on edge, feeling unsettled, which I think is the mood you're going for.
Finally, it might be a good idea to post your lyrics in the 'lyrics' area above, rather than a link, because I suspect most people, like me, are too lazy to go to another website to read them!
Oh, and your voice is great for this!