My Poison

SmokeyVW

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Description

album: Laminar Flow
track 1: 5:27 Lunar Eclipse
track 2: 6:40 My Poison
track 3: 1:56 Warm Ice
track 4: 7:33 Everyone Relies on Time
track 5: 3:23 A Summer Reverie
track 6: 4:22 Rain Clouds
track 7: 5:07 Meanwhile The Replicators
track 8: 3:48 Smile For Me Now
...more albums...

Song Description

see original:
http://www.macjams.com/song/42173

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Lyrics

He left a comment -- on my song
A proposition -- all along
I almost laughed -- and then I sighed
I typed a LOL -- and I let it slide

My mind was poisoned -- by that thought
My brain is poisoned -- by the thought
I thought I knew -- all along
But what I knew -- it was totally wrong

He fed me poison -- in my brain
A proposition -- quite insane
I started laughing -- I couldn't stop
Dead in my tracks -- by the very thought

(c) 2008 Bill Grundmann

Song Stats

Hits: 2230
Comments: 25
Fans: 10
Plays: 46
Downloads: 102

Uploaded: Apr 26, 2008 - 09:23:24 PM
Last Updated: Sep 20, 2011 - 07:18:25 PM Last Played: Dec 04, 2012 - 05:20:36 PM

Song License

Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs

Song Actions

Comments

dajama

dajama said 1848 days ago (April 26th, 2008)

Wow
This is mesmerizing - and intriguing. I started listening while I was typing something and found myself unable to focus on anything else but your voice! Not having the page out front, I couldn't see the lyrics, so I found myself sitting and listening, waiting to hear each next line. Like I say, mesmerizing. I love this track - haunting and clever, with those Jim Morrison style vocals pulling you in. Excellent. Now I want to know - what was the proposition?! Very cool. Nicely done. Peace.

Check out my latest song called Across the Wire (MJRF)

SmokeyVW

SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)

.
so, there is no actual proposition like in a song comment. i was using the whole song comment thing as a vague metaphor for something else.

i recently went through the process of deciding it was time to retire, you know, stop working, start living off our savings. it's a huge life-changing event. the whole point of the lyrics of this song is that an idea can completely turn your world-view into something new... from the perspective of my "worker self" the retirement concept acted like poison: once my wife and i knew it was feasible to retire now, the idea slowly disassembled all my ambition and interest in my former job. within days, the decision "made itself" so-to-speak. i am now in fact retired. the full reality of that is still sinking in...

thanks

Check out my latest song called RUOK

drakonis	drakonis said 1848 days ago (April 26th, 2008)
	slip slipping away I love the quirky lyrics, and I like the "effected" version of this too, but your un-affected voice is quite good too... and I LOVE the backing music, very hip 5/4 wickedness. Silly artwork too... nice! A talent, you are. ttfn, Drakonis Check out my latest song called Belle Aire (for Mandolin Orchestra)

SmokeyVW

SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)

.
the artwork is meant to represent me unmasking myself.

perhaps in two ways, showing that MyFakeIdentity is really SmokeyVW - and that worker-bee me has changed into retiree-me.

the time sig thing snapped into place since Mary Jane adores 5/4.

i sang the vocals as crisply as i could to let the vocal transformer get a clean signal to lock into and minimize artefacts to create Mary Jane's voice.

a few days later, i realized i liked the un-effected vocals enough to feel like i wanted to post it too. the revealing of my two identities in this way appealed to me. again it plays on the retirement dual-self too -- the before and after me.

i find it fascinating how the same exact vocal recording makes the emotional delivery and meaning of the words change so much, very strange...

thanks Drak!

Check out my latest song called RUOK

	said 1848 days ago (April 27th, 2008)
	Great piece Smokey! I listened to the previous version yesterday and it was really good but about the effected vocals and un-effected, I liked this and your vocals are shining beautifully here. Thanks for sharing! Enjoyed Take Care - Yeman A. Al-Rawi

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. Mary Jane likes echo too much! in my previous post i mention that i tried really hard to be crisp while singing (although i wish i could sing better). that's a lot of the reason why i posted this version of the song. i'm happy to hear you noticed the vocals. maybe i'm on the right track to improve my singing. thanks Check out my latest song called RUOK

Skean	Skean said 1848 days ago (April 27th, 2008)
	Cool I can put them both together and they still sounds good...hehehe Nice work here my friend... I love them both... Cheers from a cold beer. Peace, Love & Respect --- Kenta Check out my latest song called No Fun Anymore (Macjams is dead)

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. it sounds like you did the same experiment i did: i played both versions simultaneously - and it's a third version of the song the male and female singers together bring yet another perspective to the song - it's like a unification of both halves of the self... very strange... any way, thanks Kenta Check out my latest song called RUOK

lengold	lengold said 1848 days ago (April 27th, 2008)
	The piano is gorgeous love the chords and the feel of the tempo, very infectious. Great lyrics, bass, melody, vocals and solo, In fact I love it all. Downloaded. Thanks. Cheers Len Check out my latest song called B E A U T I F U L

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. ignoring all the vocal stuff, the bass line is my favorite element in this. thanks Check out my latest song called RUOK

Nick_Flash	Nick_Flash said 1848 days ago (April 27th, 2008)
	this is so cool. This sounds like something I would hear at the coffee house I used to frequent. Very cool indeed. Thanks for sharing. nick Check out my latest song called Questioning Authority

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. i actually played at a coffee house years ago. (not this song.) a small intimate crowd, lots of fun, full of energy. glad you liked it thanks Check out my latest song called RUOK

michael2	michael2 said 1848 days ago (April 27th, 2008)
	bill this is great, love that rhythm. did you build that from scratch? really really nice. i like the un-affected vox myself but either way this a great song. Check out my latest song called yes you told me (that you're cynical)

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. the drums started out from a 4/4 jazz brushes loop. i changed it to be 5/4 and then spiced it up (the original loop was very laid back) bass line started out as a 4/4 loop, but heavily modified here. there's little left of the original. chords and piano were all pulled out of thin air. thanks Check out my latest song called RUOK

Ed Hannifin

Ed Hannifin said 1847 days ago (April 27th, 2008)

I'm going right back...
...to all your 312 posted songs, to see what in the world could've been proposed that would do this...

Kind of like Alfred Bester's 'The Demolished Man'...

And of course, ironically enough, this tune itself has that capacity to slip into the synaptic gap and produce its own neural messengers...

You've got some kind of mind, Bill, and some kind of genius...

Ed

Check out my latest song called Uno/I Like The Way... (with Macaudion, SISTERS, ktb, and ziti)

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. please do read the earlier replies... yeah, that rhythm was definitely the idea reprogramming virus thing happening... i worry a lot about my mind; i hope it's still working properly after all this time. i think it's out of warranty by now. :-) thanks! Check out my latest song called RUOK

DWL	DWL said 1847 days ago (April 28th, 2008)
	Something else I love the lyrics as I've had thoughts that take over my mind and I can't get rid of them The backing is amazing. That insistent bass is something else. In fact the more I listen the better it gets :-) Cheers Dick Check out my latest song called Not For The Likes of You

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. i'm glad you said this: "... the more I listen the better it gets ..." exactly! thanks Check out my latest song called RUOK

TobinMueller	TobinMueller said 1847 days ago (April 28th, 2008)
	Unique on several levels Very cool subject matter. I love that its a song based on MJ-like experiences, with a very real yet unique take. Opened ended ambiguous lyrics with a sense of irony and ominous affect. Great idea. Check out my latest song called Frozen Man (by James Taylor)

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. i wish i could remember how the MacJams hook occurred to me. i guess it's from hanging out here too much :-) thanks for listening Tobin Check out my latest song called RUOK

	said 1846 days ago (April 28th, 2008)
	Whoa... Hey Bill...nice piano...like early Traffic. Strange lyrics! But kinda cool. Hopefully you'll get the antidote in one of the comments on this piece! Ha ha... Be well friend!

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. Traffic - yeah, it hadn't clicked till you said that - you are absolutely right. Low Spark of Highheeled Boys - right? Always liked that song. thanks Check out my latest song called RUOK

	said 1846 days ago (April 28th, 2008)
	My Poison. love the rythem chords of that great piano melody. Wow already been inspired great. Love this . This is soo cool. Nice Singing Smoky Beautiful/ I wonder what the comments were From Man to Man Hey!!! Ha ha Very funny also. love the Pic Well done you two guys did a great Job. Peace Love Respect Dee xx

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 1845 days ago (April 29th, 2008)
	. you caught that strange thing about the lyrics - the gender of the singer changes the nuances of the words. isn't that really strange? glad you liked it thank you Check out my latest song called RUOK

lavalamp	lavalamp said 1800 days ago (June 13th, 2008)
	Cool revealing stuff. Neat how you did the mary jane thing. Really cool. LL Check out my latest song called A Funky Little Thing