The original Psycho Normal and his Stiff Victims split at the end of '82 citing artistic differences (i.e. an argument about who was buying the next beer) and Psycho Normal was sectioned under the Mental Health Act for not being normal enough. Guitarist Dirk Leningrad recruited a new drummer and bassist and resurrected the Stiff Victims. Early in 1983, whilst on remand in Pentonville for unlawful use of a sheep in a public place, Dirk met the English aristocrat Sir Dennis Crowther who said he'd played a bit of organ in a punk band at Eton and wouldn't mind giving it a go. Sir Dennis never did explain why he was in there.

Knowing he'd have a better chance of a record deal with some totty in the band Dirk persuaded an impressionable young folk singer, Rebsie Fairholm (who he'd met under a table in a pub) to join up. Naive and idealistic, she was easily lured into the exciting and glamorous rock'n'roll life only to find her role would be to make the tea, score the drugs and sing backing vocals that no-one would ever hear as they gave her the mike that didn't work.

Through outrageous good fortune and a serious case of mistaken identity (Dirk looked uncannily like David Essex) they landed a gig at a prestigious New York venue where this track was recorded, which went on to be their signature song when they attempted to represent Liechtenstein in the Eurovision Song Contest.

On the night of the gig they managed 2 songs before the mistake was realised and they were thrown out of the theatre. Meanwhile their Eurovision hopes were dashed when manufactured vocal group Liechtensteiner Sweet Dreams got the nod over them. The Madison muddle was their one and only gig and Dirk acknowledges it wasn't one of his best vocal performances but said they had been up most of the previous night partying.

Be kind to them.

(Dirk Leningrad now has a lucrative career doing David-Essex-o-Grams for middle-aged housewives' parties. Please phone for a brochure. Rebsie also does a fine line in writing intros for webpages. Please phone for a brochure)

Zoom Bang Bang © Dirk Leningrad 1982

This is a true story.

I lived my life in splendid isolation, I was hiding from the past
But let me say by way of explanation that I never thought that love could ever last
then

Zoom Bang Bang, don't know what you did to me
I don't know where to start
Zoom Bang Bang, don't know what you did but
was it you that put that arrow through my heart?

I never thought that I would ever worry about the way somebody felt
but now I'm in love I'm always in a hurry
Every minute we're apart is just like hell

Zoom Bang Bang, don't know what you did to me
I don't know where to start
Zoom Bang Bang, don't know what you did but
was it you that put that arrow through my heart?


Dirk would like to thank Rebsie for telling the story a lot better than he could (he can't remember what he had for dinner yesterday let alone what he was doing 25 years ago). Dirk also extends his thanks to Sir Dennis and hopes the venture with the female warm chocolate sauce wrestling is going well.