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Description:
Bob Geldof knew it was a mistake, but he had a big hole to fill in the line-up. NOBODY wanted to go on after Bowie, only to be eclipsed by what was to follow... The Who. You’d have to be crazy... an egomaniac... or worse. Geldof got all three when he scheduled this performer.
In his only other personal appearance, a few years earlier at The Hollywood Bowl, rabid fans rioted during the intermission and the cops cancelled the remainder of the performance. That action only incited more mayhem as the angry crowd spilled out into the streets, wreaking havoc that reached all the way to Hollywood Boulevard.
For this cause, he swore to Geldof and Midge Ure that he would be on his best behavior... No politics, no rants, just pure entertainment. Perhaps he was actually true to his word. For even at his best, it was never good.
But Geldof was desperate. No one else would take this unenviable spot. He had to take a chance.
He knew he was in trouble when, as the pounding rhythm of his signature tune began, Joe Hollywood emerged from backstage to deafening cheers... wearing only a gold lamé athletic supporter.
Geldof rolled his eyes, screamed a stream of expletives and signaled the director to cut the network feed. For the next six minutes, a worldwide audience was treated to impromptu talking heads, clumsily fumbling for words to fill the time.
After his performance of “Star-Bound,” which stirred the Wembley crowd into a frenzy, Joe Hollywood was forcibly whisked off the stage. No evidence of this appearance remains, save for this digitized copy of a low-quality cassette recording.
Blackballed by the music industry, he never performed in public again and has long been rumored to be living a quiet life somewhere in The Midwest under an assumed name.
Lyrics:
Star-Bound
Music and Lyrics © 2008 By J.A. Stewart
— ALL RIGHTS RESERVED —
Well I’ve decided to become a star, you see I sing and I play guitar,
real good. Yeh, B.B. King says I should head for Hollywood ---
I’m tired of running in this human race, I’d gladly be just another
Pretty Face, gee whiz --- dont y’a know that everbody wants to
be in Show-Biz! That’s right.
I’ve Rocked & Rolled and I have lived the Blues. Yeh, you could say
that I have paid my dues. For all these years, I’ve played all the dives
and joints to both the cheers and jeers, let me tell you something:
CHORUS:
I always knew I could be a big star, ‘twas just a matter of Time ---
My record’s rising now, ain’t it surprising how really fast your star
can climb --- Oh, look out, Hollywood --- Here I Come!
INSTRUMENTAL BREAK
Yeh --- I wanna be one of them Super-Stars. I’ll live in Bel Air and drive fancy cars, Rolls-Royce, yeh, and then Mercedes is my second choice.
I’ll gladly hobnob with the King & Queen --- the stars of TV & the Silver Screen, ah, sweet Fame --- Now everbody knows my name!
I want to be a real celebrity --- livin’ in style & ease & luxury, ah, so nice! Livin’ with all the Beautiful People out here in Paradise.
CHORUS:
I always knew I could be a big star, it seems I’ve made it at last ---
No need to worry now, or even hurry now, my song’s a bullet and
climbing fast! (Ad lib to end)
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Ebay bound... &mdash 06/13/08 - 01:10:28 PM
... and rumor has it that poor old Joe Hollywood, hard up for cash yet ever resourceful, has decided to auction off that "gold lam athletic supporter" on Ebay with a starting bid of $2000. Now that's some brassy... well, anyway... great manic performance Mr. Joe.
D [ Reply to This ]
Ebay bound... &mdash 06/14/08 - 10:37:17 AM
Yes, *resourceful*... that's the ticket. Mr. Hollywood much prefers that description to the overused *sleazy* and *larcenous.*
How do you think this whole MJ Live Aid challenge began? Do you really believe that Lisa and Joseph just *happened* to come up with the idea? Au contraire, mes amis... they've been promised a cut of the ebay proceeds. ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
lol and &mdash 06/13/08 - 01:57:41 PM
lol and... &mdash 06/14/08 - 10:44:06 AM
I'm glad you enjoyed this little slice of musical history, da.
Impatient for Pete to scoot, an "accidental" hip bump from JH sent him flying off the edge of the stage. ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
This &mdash 06/13/08 - 04:20:10 PM
is fun stuff- kind of like "Sweet Jane".Can't wait till this is made into a Broadway musical. [ Reply to This ]
This... &mdash 06/14/08 - 10:52:25 AM
Thank you, Mark. Yes, it is fun, isn't it? That's because it's not about some poor, plain Jane, but all about Joe Hollywood. Fascinating stuff, really. But I'm not sure Broadway is really... BIG enough... for an act of his stature. ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
Star-Bound &mdash 06/13/08 - 05:12:46 PM
YES YES >...rock rock rock ...one of the best songs
ever posted at live aid ..what an amazin guitar work
and singing ..definetly a mind blowin song ...what an
act !!!! Deepest Bow !!!!!!! [ Reply to This ]
Star-Bound &mdash 06/14/08 - 11:00:02 AM
"ONE of the best songs..."???!!!
Mr. Hollywood is CRUSHED by this remark, Feter. :(
Oh, wait a minute... he's caught his reflection in a mirror and he's all better now.
Ho-ho!... Thanks, Feter. ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
Outstanding bit Joe &mdash 06/13/08 - 05:25:16 PM
Loved your intro into this, and the cassette quality of the recording is the clincher. Unless of course the whole story is really true. ( ;-P )
Talk about your egomaniac, Joe Hollywood makes Michael Jackson look like a piker.
Great job Joe, love it
Ed [ Reply to This ]
Outstanding bit... &mdash 06/14/08 - 11:07:46 AM
There is actually a great deal of truth in the story --- and in the lyrics, Ed. But some of the facts may have been transposed... to protect the guilty. Re: Michael Jackson... unlike MJ, JH can hold his head --- and his nose --- up high. He was in the biz for all the RIGHT reasons... chicks. ;)
Thanks, Ed... Joe [ Reply to This ]
This is great &mdash 06/13/08 - 05:44:54 PM
The sound is a great idea, gives it a brilliant authentic vibe. Love the lyrics, and the guitar on this is great, rockin'! Very cool track. I wondered about that sudden cut to the studio and all those shifty-looking characters blabbering on! Now it all makes sense....peace. [ Reply to This ]
This is great &mdash 06/14/08 - 12:29:53 PM
Thanks, David.
Yes, where Joe Hollywood went, chaos and confusion inevitably followed. But he was miffed, when he learned later that they weren't talking about HIM. ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
love the story &mdash 06/13/08 - 07:11:35 PM
and the song is pretty good too despite it's iffy quality - dropouts and other cassette nasties... does remind me of Sweet Jane as well. Like the ad lib at the end...
Peter [ Reply to This ]
love the story... &mdash 06/14/08 - 12:40:22 PM
Thank you, Peter. What's NOT to like about any story that has to do with Joe Hollywood? He's the type of legend that legends are made of.
The recording? It's rumored Geldof personally burned the master of this performance... and even put a bounty out on any bootlegs. Somehow, miraculously, this copy survived. We should rejoice. ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
I heard rumors about this performance &mdash 06/14/08 - 09:53:31 AM
You are lucky to have come across this rare recording. I have collected some lost recordings of my own including one by One Note William ("Live at Carnegie Hall") and a rare recording called "Second Encore" the final performance by the String Brothers.
This performance by Joe Hollywood is exceptional. I once interviewed Joe when I was a DJ in Cleveland (before he was well known). In fact in those days he was performing under the name "Joe Lakewood". I wonder what happened to him since this appearance. He was an unusual talent.
:) [ Reply to This ]
I heard rumors... &mdash 06/14/08 - 01:00:57 PM
Oh, Bill... you are certainly among the very fortunate chosen few. JH rarely granted (Radio) interviews, reckoning (quite correctly) they were of little value if his visage could not be seen... and adored.
Perhaps you caught his breakout performance as Joe Lakewood at The Phantasy, which (at least for awhile) convinced the likes of Trent Reznor, Scott Weiland, David Thomas and Neil Geraldo to abandon their silly musical dreams and get back to flipping burgers. ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
More Joe Hollywood! &mdash 06/15/08 - 01:02:06 PM
More Joe Hollywood! More Joe Hollywood!
How many times do I need to say this? The world NEEDS Joe! CD sales are down throughout the industry and the music biz doesn't know what to do - but the cure is staring them in the face in four words: "Joe Hollywood Box Set". Man, I've got my credit card locked and loaded right now!
Box set! Complete with a replica gold lam athletic supporter!
GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!! Get the execs on the phone! [ Reply to This ]
More Joe Hollywood!... &mdash 06/15/08 - 10:26:29 PM
What the Music Industry needs... is more keen musical ears and minds like yours, Rik. You are clearly a man with refined musical sensibilities. Your gold lamé jockstrap is in the mail! ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
ha ha! &mdash 06/15/08 - 01:46:31 PM
Is this not the Queen song that went missing when the sattellite transmission broke down? Screaming crowd, underwear being launched on stage no doubt for JH...I can see it all!
Great fun - a bullet indeed!
Jim [ Reply to This ]
ha ha!... &mdash 06/15/08 - 10:29:04 PM
Thanks, Jim.
Yes, indeed, it was raining undergarments on stage during Joe Hollywood's performance. A number of them were even from adoring female fans. ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
very, very... &mdash 06/17/08 - 03:00:22 PM
very, very... &mdash 06/17/08 - 07:18:07 PM
Thank you, Bob... very, very, very much.
Mr. Hollywood's the cool one. I'm just his patient therapist. :p
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
wow &mdash 06/24/08 - 04:45:11 PM
What a super live feeling. And a super tune. You have some old school rockn'roll in you veins. And please take that as a complement. Because I think that is something of great value to have. You sound very confident and on top of what it takes to make a good groove, and what works together. Great harp playing btw.
The mix is absolute fabulous. The live feeling and the placement of the band members on stage is very well done!
Bravo!!! [ Reply to This ]
wow... &mdash 06/24/08 - 06:48:11 PM
Thank you, Thor. I was around when they were still laying bricks on that *Old School* so I certainly do take that as a compliment. I cut my teeth on Old School Rock and it is still my favorite type of music.
Thanks for noticing the harp work... it's a bit ragged in spots, but I decided I like it that way. ;)
--- Joe [ Reply to This ]
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