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Description:
Similar in structure to my last pop song (Fly Away), maybe it needs another layer or two but I like to keep it as simple as possible. Definitely a little Jonny Lang inspiration in how I chose to sing this one. One or two of the transitions from verse to chorus might need a bit of work too but enough of what I think, please let me know how it sounds and what it needs.
Lyrics:
V1
I used to wonder
What I should do
To get your attention
I'd always try
Yes I tried so hard
To make you see my intentions
And I guess all I really wanted
Was for you to think of me
So I asked myself this question
Chorus
What can I do - to be
Something special for you
I used to ask myself again and again
But now I see
I can only be me
So if that's what you want
Here I am
(All I can give is me
No I can't be anybody else
So if you want who I am
Take my hand
Here I am)
V2
Now I'm learning, to let go
Just be who I am
One thing you taught me
How to relax
Even when it seems out of hand
Do you remember
That day I was so worried
You just
Touched my arm and said it's ok
Chorus
V3
Looking at me - look at me now
Do you really see - do you really see
Somebody you want
Singing to you
Will you promise - promise me
To honestly think about what you need
And do what you must if you need to leave
Cause I can tell you what I think
But it's up to you to believe
yeah
I understand
All I can be is this man
So here I am - here I am
Chorus
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lots of talent here! &mdash 06/21/08 - 09:33:32 PM
You sing and perform well. Enjoyed the harmonies you did. Great lyrics and just a cool song. You are very talented. Glad Adam sent us for a listen. He was right, you are very good! Welcome to MacJams. [ Reply to This ]
I'm glad too &mdash 06/22/08 - 12:28:15 PM
that he directed you to my music. Pop, like I've said a lot, is really not my best genre but the positive comments I've received on macjams about my singing have motivated me to improve so thanks for yours. glad you enjoyed the song [ Reply to This ]
Keep on improving &mdash 06/21/08 - 09:34:01 PM
This is a really nice song... you really have a great lyrical style and have been improving greatly with each effort.
I've mentioned this before but I think this is really a good style and sound for you. Keep up the good work! [ Reply to This ]
improving &mdash 06/22/08 - 12:21:04 PM
I do still have a way to go and a lot of room for improvement in this genre but thanks for the encouragement... I will definitely keep working on my pop sound.
[ Reply to This ]
yo tooolie &mdash 06/22/08 - 11:25:04 AM
man oh man
way to go fellah...this is just cool as hell. Your skills just grow and grow...and your voice gets stronger and stronger, as do your concepts themselves.
I would like to here a low end instrument in there for the more robust sections. Some form of bass.
great stuff kiddo!!!!!
proud of you
z [ Reply to This ]
thanks Fran &mdash 06/22/08 - 12:16:36 PM
yeah the more I listen to this I think it does need a few more sounds especially a bass line... but thanks for the comment. Glad you liked my voice on it. as always, I appreciate the support [ Reply to This ]
cool... &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:21:51 PM
You've transformed this nursery rhyme lullaby into something much more than it could possibly be. Great composing and vocal performance here and really cool second voicing. You've come a long way from your rapping (which is awesome, by the way) but I am wondering why you've downplayed this great singing voice for so long.
I imagine you can push this song to the next level with the following improvements:
1. the recording level is a little too loud and clipping at certain levels.
2. you can add more instruments to this relatively bare arrangement. I imagine a more thumping beat and more strings will add meat to its bones.
In general, this is an entertaining song in the sense that you created something novel and unique without going far off the mainstream, which makes it appealing to both those who seek a catchy tune and those who seek a less-than-common sound. [ Reply to This ]
cool... &mdash 06/23/08 - 10:07:24 AM
man thanks for being willing to leave such an in depth comment again. I'll look back at this when I put together my next pop song so I can improve on the things you mentioned. Also, your comments about my singing carry a lot of weight because of my respect for your vocal abilities, I appreciate the compliments ... thanks for the listen man [ Reply to This ]
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