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Keywords:
poem (21), melodrama (2), cautionary tale (1), snark (1), silly (34), maybe not so silly (1), dulcimer (33), dulce (2), drakonis (55)
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Description:
OK, I'm a composer, not a performer... but how can I grow and learn, if I don't try things that take me out of my "comfort zone"? So, I am going to recite an ancient poem I wrote, and attempt to play along with my mountain dulcimer "Dulce", helped with some sound effects. I've always enjoyed reading stories to my children and wife, so, here is my Macjams debut of reading with "the voice". And to have the Macjams coffee house available to book this month is perfect timing for me... so, sit back and enjoy that spiked mocha, and let me weave a cautionary tale of suspense, melodrama, and fantasy, or reality... your choice.
Artwork is the original drawing I made (to accompany the poem) when I was 18.
Sorry about the "What the..." comment at the beginning. I left Dulce alone on the chair for just a few minutes and when I came back, somebody had lowered her G string down to an F... that threw me off since I had to quickly re-tune her before starting the poem. I can't turn my back on her for a minute.
Lyrics:
The Snark
--------
He was told
Within a darkened valley green
The foggy curtain drifted
He was sold
To kill the Snark while in the dark
The foggy curtain sifted
He was cold
The Snark, confronted, bellowed forth
The foggy curtain shifted
He was bold
but shattered blade, bloodshed made
And the foggy curtain lifted
Never venture
On a lark
To hunt with sword
The dreadful Snark
For you will find
Within the dark
Yourself inside
The Dreadful Snark
Copyright 1978, Eduard Schwan Poetry, all rights reserved
Hardware:
Mac Pro
AKG Perception 200
Focusrite Saffire audio interface
vocal cords for the voice, the accent, the wind, and the snark
Software:
Garageband 4
"clanking dishes and spoons in coffee cups" - recorded by me
ambient "cafe" talking - http://www.soundsnap.com/node/57215
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YAY SNARKS! &mdash 06/21/08 - 11:07:04 PM
You are just too cute! I love this. You did a wonderful job. Perfect amount of accompaniment on the dulcimer. AWESOME sound effects! This is a great little poem, wonderful rhythm and great delivery. Your voice is perfect for this. It totally has that renaissance troubador feel to it - with the dulcimer strumming and emotive recitation. Great job mr. dragon - I like it a lot and it makes me smile BIG! [ Reply to This ]
Yay Kassia! &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:11:29 PM
Thank you again for your critiques, friendship, and pushing me up on stage. Glad you got the troubadour feel, that was part of what Dulce and I were attempting, was the alternating voice/strum delivery. Thank you for your impatient patience as I re-worked and re-recorded this over and over. A BIG smile over there definitely creates a BIG smile over here!
ttfn,
Drakonis (not usually a Snark) [ Reply to This ]
not a performer??? &mdash 06/21/08 - 11:08:27 PM
Oh how I beg to differ!!! You perform better than any dragon I have ever met. This is great! What an awesome storyteller you are. Seriously this is a great job. Love the growl. Love the snark as always :) [ Reply to This ]
I like a good story &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:10:29 PM
And I've always enjoyed telling/reading them, but just to my family... so this was a bit of a stretch to perform in front of a rather extended family. Dragons live in caves for a reason... we assume that only other Dragons would be interested in our poetry. But you are very kind for feeding this story-habit of mine. Perhaps you and I will weave a tale someday... you and Mark did a fabulous job with yours, I loooove that one!
Be careful with the growl of the elusive Snark.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
very nice &mdash 06/21/08 - 11:15:34 PM
excellent to have you listen &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:14:41 PM
Patrick, I love hearing/watching live playing... and love your guitar-work. Dulce only has 4 strings, I can barely handle those... I'd be totally lost with 2 more!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Truly awesome! &mdash 06/21/08 - 11:37:40 PM
Love the sound effects all through out! Your Dulcimer is GREAT! And "THE VOICE" is phenomenal!!! [ Reply to This ]
Mark! &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:20:32 PM
I'm glad you got the couple next to you to stop clinking their spoons during the performance, how annoying! Thank you so much for helping out with this, your extensive and thorough listening and critique-write-up really polished this up. Your idea of adding sound effects helped a lot, for example. Glad you set aside your poetaphobia for me... and I look forward to your own upcoming foray into this area soon. I had fun sharing "The Voice" and being melodramatic.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Very cool &mdash 06/22/08 - 12:43:22 AM
you too &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:23:31 PM
Hey Bryn, I loved your and Cat's entry as well, that was great fun to listen to, wonderful banter. In fact, your banter was partial incentive for my intro-patter.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Well now ..... &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:24:39 AM
.. this put a big ole goofy grin right on my snarky face ...... loved the grrrrrowls ..... you definitely put all those childrens' story tellers to SHAME .... this would be a hot sell for sure .... I can see the little faces totally RAPT and attentive while listening .... I know I WAS ! GREAT post Drak! [ Reply to This ]
um... not a children's story &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:34:57 PM
probably why you enjoyed it, you snarky co-conspirator you! Too bad my niece/nephew are moving up to Oregon, I used to tell them stories in this style (after my kids got older) and I could sometimes get their jaws to hang open, I loved that. Alannah, thank you for listening, rapt up in the delivery... your singing usually does the same thing to me. :-) Wonder if we should start Drak's Story Corner at MJ, (like the MJ Coffee house, but dedicated to story-telling, I have a few to kick start it with... hmmm.)
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
The Snark - &mdash 06/22/08 - 02:09:17 AM
Ahh man this is awesome ...very good production ..
your voice and layin all set to the mood and feel
of the renaissance but with in your own character .
very successful work my friend ..thnx alot for sharin
it ,Sir !!!
p.s
I still believe this Draki can sing !!! [ Reply to This ]
Dragonsong is NOT for humans! &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:40:49 PM
Feter, thank you as always for your infectious support and friendship. And thank YOU for sharing your own beautiful creations and collaborations here. Yes, I'm heading off in my own direction with this, and in many ways, it is very "me". Glad you like it!
But, since I have had no training at all in singing, I will probably stay with spoken delivery. I am not an "old dog" yet, but I have many other "tricks" to learn instead.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Wonderful! &mdash 06/22/08 - 03:07:20 AM
I knew it'd be something nice to listen to. I enjoyed your work very much Sir Eduard, nice playing and great storytelling. Nothing is wrong at all with this piece, really a cool listen.
Take Care
- Yeman A. Al-Rawi [ Reply to This ]
Good morning &mdash 06/22/08 - 02:02:09 PM
So glad to give you a fun poem to wake up to, Yeman. It took many takes and a couple start-over-from-scratch sessions, but I'm happy with this version, and glad you like it and that you politely overlook my really simplistic dulcimer playing. Now, it is time for me to start rewriting a guitar line in Border Merger so I can collab with you soon :) Thank you for your beautiful compositions and guitar music, Yeman!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Great stuff! &mdash 06/22/08 - 03:48:48 AM
It's so nice to finally put a face to a name! I love the sound of the 'knives on plates' in the background. You may not think you are a performer but you have a lovely speaking syle. Fantastic performance. The lyrics are great. It's really nice to get out these old poems and use them. Brill! [ Reply to This ]
old old picture &mdash 06/22/08 - 02:11:04 PM
That picture was taken back when I was young and snarky. I'm much... older now :-)
I guess the years of telling bedtime stories and reading Terry Pratchett novels out loud are paying off, heehee. It is good to know you think I have a good speaking style, even with the light touch of fake-British softened-R accent.
It is VERY good to have you back at Macjams, Lee, and your Mum too! What fun this is! Love your music and amazing talent!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
What &mdash 06/22/08 - 04:43:33 AM
can I say? A born performer.... and such realistic sound effects LOL. Excellent poem too, cheers M [ Reply to This ]
what a compliment &mdash 06/22/08 - 02:12:46 PM
Coming from a great performer himself, thank you! Yes, some of those sound effects are more real than you can "imagine" :-)
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
The Snark &mdash 06/22/08 - 06:34:50 AM
Not bad Drak ! Not three bad at all. LoL
You did Well. I loved to hear your speaking voice it sounded great. Well done for your first attempt.
Peace Dee [ Reply to This ]
overcoming mic-fright &mdash 06/22/08 - 02:17:27 PM
Thank you for the vote of confidence, Dee. It was fun to read that you have actually done this, stood up and recited your own poetry... I'll never get that far, this virtual venue is scary enough for me. I shall likely try another speaking part here at Macjams, though. Thank you for stopping in to listen.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Hey I have not get my coffee yet &mdash 06/22/08 - 07:01:27 AM
Sccccchhh he have started can't you hear that Oops!!! sorry ...hehehe
Very cool nice work you're a good storyteller my friend.
Nice woke up to this thanks for the coffee break.
Take care
---
Kenta [ Reply to This ]
Noisy customers &mdash 06/22/08 - 02:21:37 PM
Sorry about the noisy girls at table 3, Kenta... Mark Holbrook shushed them too.
Thank you for listening to my story... I hope it was a good diversion, while you wait for your wife to return. I am sitting here alone this weekend too, waiting for my wife to return from a trip a thousand miles away, I look forward to our soul-mates returning to us soon. Thank you, my friend!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
( : &mdash 06/22/08 - 07:59:29 AM
I love this!!!! (I had to look snark up in the dictionary) Its GREAT THANKYOU for putting it here :) : ) : ) You read very very good so nice to hear You ! Lena [ Reply to This ]
the ORIGINAL Snark poem &mdash 06/22/08 - 02:43:40 PM
Lena, yay! I'm glad you liked it... and I really enjoyed your speaking voice too. Yes, Lewis Carroll (who wrote the "Alice in Wonderland" story) also wrote a lesser-known long poem called "The Hunting of the Snark", which is a silly/strange poem. I wrote my poem after reading his, but I created a whole different story/style... I just used the name. Thank you for coming to listen to my reading!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
What I Love about your compositions &mdash 06/22/08 - 08:21:35 AM
is your attention to every detail. Each pause (paws?), each inflection, the sounds, all perfectly placed. The snark growl in the swirly wind really paints a picture of dread, yet your reading is more tongue in cheek than man in snark, so it has just the right effect. You do realize we will want more poems from you after hearing this, and also more Dulce. Oh- and I'm copying your wind voice sometime, just so you know. This was wonderfully done, and thanks for the previews. :-) [ Reply to This ]
the story and the story teller &mdash 06/22/08 - 02:53:37 PM
Thanks to YOUUUUUU! You're the one who suggested drawing things out even more, creating the "clause that catch" your attention. I enjoyed walking that thin line between snarky reality and tongue-in-cheek silliness, you know me, I live there between those two places :-)
I don't really have many other poems worth reading (or that I can share, ahem.) But there are some little short story prose things I may attempt soon. Dulce and I are having fun together, I need to keep practicing... thank you for the encouragement!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
The SNARK &mdash 06/22/08 - 10:23:35 AM
Drakonis, this is truly inspirational! "The Voice" is an entity unto itself, is is NOT to be messed with! As you know, I love this poem and your dulcimer accompaniment is just perfect. As you also know, I just LOVE the snark growl. Very scary. Very creepy. This would scare children, I think it's best not to let them hear it. Congratulations drak - you snark! [ Reply to This ]
Don't mess with a Snark! &mdash 06/22/08 - 03:02:17 PM
You can mess with me, though :-) Thank you for your help and thumbs-up as I finished this up! I appreciate you letting me bug you with previews.
The poem was fun to revisit and dress up for public performance... there aren't many that I wrote that are worthwhile (thank you for helping me zoom in on the Snark one, and shoot down the others too, whew... good thing I didn't do the one I originally thought to do!)
Yes, this is supposed to scare the children, and its supposed to make adults smirk, in a slightly worried way... wondering if they really don't need to worry about Snarks. You never can tell, with Snarks.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Ha ha! &mdash 06/22/08 - 10:56:55 AM
You old beatnik Eduard! Nice Coffee House submission my friend!
Be well! [ Reply to This ]
I missed my calling &mdash 06/22/08 - 03:05:04 PM
I guess I can be a Beatnik in geek's clothing. Thank you for listening, and thanks for the dark chocolate tip in Dulce's case, yum!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Positively frightening! &mdash 06/22/08 - 11:14:30 AM
The baker, the banker, the billiard-marker, and...
the balladeer!
Ok, this is silly but in a good way. You gave us that authentic coffee-house experience of performers rambling on about stuff the audience couldn't care any less about. Followed by a deep (deep!) and heartfelt (oh so heartfelt!) performance that is largely ignored over coffee and muffins. But you still give it your all.
Nice job.
PS Did the audience all faint in fright? I didn't hear any applause.
PPS was this snark a boojum?
[ Reply to This ]
Good Silly is what I am... &mdash 06/22/08 - 03:19:06 PM
Yes! You picked up on one of the subtexts here... I "give it my all", and in the end, the audience is too busy to notice the cautionary tale. A recognition that this is just silly fluff, and I never take myself too seriously, and don't expect others to either.
Thank you very much for listening and enjoying, Victor, your creative musical pieces here are always mind-expanding for me.
As for the "Boojum-dilemma", this was definitely a booj-... you-know-what, given the fate of the poor ignorant mercenary. To be honest, if he (and Lewis Carroll) got out more, they'd realize that ALL Snarks are Boojums, and so you should NEVER purposely go hunting a Snark. They are wildly unpredictably imaginary, and therefore extremely dangerous and un-killable. But Lewis Carroll is dead (curiouser and curiouser, no?) so somebody else will have to write the sequel.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Gro-ow-w-l-l, &mdash 06/22/08 - 01:23:07 PM
Now that the Snark had his dinner, perhaps he will prowl around for some dessert and a multi grande cappucino, spiked with your famous dragon sauce? Loved the voice, the inflection and the melody and effects accompaniment. Very entertaining! Do another one!! Yes, you are a performer. Very happy you shared this one. :)
[ Reply to This ]
Mmm Dessert and DragonSauce... &mdash 06/22/08 - 03:28:30 PM
Funny, when I was having trouble trying to "sing" on my Toxic Desire piece, Maurice (Moviz) suggested I loosen up a bit with a little bit of alcoholic beverage before singing... and it worked (and was ironic for that song.) So I tried that again for this piece... drank a little DragonSauce (a little goes a long way), and it helped the speaking part. Luckily I had recorded the dulcimer takes before that, because I have to really concentrate to play Dulce well, and my friends always told me never to drink and pluck, so I don't.
Thank you again for your suggestions on this, and now we will have to get YOU to perform some of YOUR poetry and singing!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
snark snark &mdash 06/22/08 - 02:37:29 PM
what a lovely idea, reminds me of my elementary days and how we used to listen to those Walt Disney records with film strips,you have a nice quality voice, thanks for sharing....p.s.. whats a snark? [ Reply to This ]
wonderful cat photo &mdash 06/22/08 - 03:47:34 PM
Must be CleoCatra?
Thank you for listening to my storytelling, I'm flattered to be compared to real pro vocalists... I remember listening to LPs of "Peter and the Wolf" and Carnival of the Animals as a child (with Ogden Nash poems), and loved those.
What is a Snark? Well, it is probably best for you to find a copy of Lewis Carroll's original poem... then determine what a Snark is for yourself. There are Snarks everywhere. Don't go looking for them though, they get really annoyed when bothered.
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
What a joy this is Drak &mdash 06/22/08 - 09:32:14 PM
Wonderful tale and fantastic setting. This coffee house thing is getting better and stranger all the time. [ Reply to This ]
a place for strange tales &mdash 06/23/08 - 11:47:22 AM
We all need a strange tale now and then. It has been really fun to hear all the MJ CoffeeHouse entries (like yours!) and trying my own too. Yay Nick!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
hello eduard - &mdash 06/23/08 - 06:20:54 AM
i am listening to you picking up dulce as i type :) - your consonants are faaaabulous - i do love a nice, crisp consonant - *shivers at the growls - and your english vowels are amazing - and not easy to do as dick van dyke proved - cor blimey merry pop-inz - i would love to hear this without the dulcimer - told as a story in it's own right rather than as a blend with the music - which, as good as it is... detracts a certain je ne c'est pas from the performance - hey - that's just me :). brilliant done ed-wood with your usual attention to detail - thank you - big loves xoxoxoxoxoxo [ Reply to This ]
whew... &mdash 06/24/08 - 06:21:49 PM
Mostly passed the Caroline test... thank you for listening and enjoying, m'lady! Dragons do love a bit of growl-n-prowl...
I am glad you told me this didn't have quite the punch for you with the music interspersed, I always love critiques and take notes, especially from a respected teacher of theatre arts. I shall likely recite another story soon here, sans music. As for re-doing this poem without music, I will gladly do so for you... on one condition... you will have to hear it in person (smirk.)
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Well done! &mdash 06/24/08 - 04:30:01 PM
You wrote this as an 18 year old? That's awesome! I'm really impressed. It's funny, witty, elaborate, could have been a bit repetitive but you turn it around at exactly the right point.
The performance is more than OK! I am a little disappointed at the crowd, though. Couldn't they at least clap a few hands together? It was well worth it!
Thanks for sharing!
Henrik [ Reply to This ]
heehee... irony &mdash 06/24/08 - 06:32:36 PM
Henke, you are very kind to say such things. Most of my poems were written about that age, and most were trite and depressing... this one was intentionally melodramatic-to-be-silly, and was fun to recite and share. I thought the audience was perfect... you are NEVER supposed to clap when somebody reads their old poetry, because it only encourages them to read more. :-)
(to be serious though, I actually thought about adding a little clapping at the end, and I decided it would actually have more impact for the reader to be completely ignored. After all, this is a poem about somebody not heeding advice, so now it is the audience ignoring the advice of the poet. Just slipping some subtle irony into your diet.)
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
man &mdash 06/24/08 - 05:11:58 PM
i thought you would never tune up ... lol .. kidding ... what a theatrical cool reading my friend .... excellent ... no nits! : - ] ... reporting from inside the snark ... davis out... [ Reply to This ]
Snarks alive! &mdash 06/24/08 - 06:37:22 PM
Well, I have some good news for you then... if you have already been eaten by a Snark, you are safe from ever being eaten by a Boojum, then... count your blessings.
Thank you so much for listening, Jack.,,, yes YOU, "Jack with the deep rich booming voice" Jack. And you can sing too, and write really cool music. Too bad you've been eaten by a Snark. :-)
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Perhaps &mdash 06/25/08 - 07:59:23 AM
it's just me and my warped and risible sense of humour but I loved "what the ..F?"and then really enjoyed the rest of the performance too.How do those dulcimer jobbies work?What is the tuning ,this sounded very apt to the poem.Nice work Drakonis type feller..See you
Jarvoid [ Reply to This ]
Dulce is not DAD &mdash 06/26/08 - 10:39:06 AM
So glad you stopped by! I had a lot of fun weaving different subtle and not-so-subtle layers of humor on this. I was a little worried about offending with the "What the.." F/G tuning issue, but I went ahead and left that in, because my sense of humor is perhaps as wacky as yours.
As for the tuning, there are a number of ways to tune them (a few are even correct)... I chose a not-often-used tuning of C-G-C... and so I did intentionally tune the G string down to F in order to legitimize the "F" joke. A more common tuning is just up a note, D-A-D, but I am the Dad, not Dulce. :-)
ttfn,
Drakonis
[ Reply to This ]
:D &mdash 06/25/08 - 04:38:50 PM
Ah, to delight... &mdash 06/26/08 - 10:42:03 AM
Excellent! I am happy to be entertaining... that was what I was hoping to achieve, here. Thank you for being interested enough to DL!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
There was... &mdash 06/27/08 - 09:01:04 AM
...a coffee house I used to play at a lot in Tucson. The Unicorn Cafe. People coming in after time spent in the desert/mountains to relax and relate. Nice spot.
I can't even begin to tell you how perfectly this piece would have fit in that location. Right down to people contributing sound effects through the reading.
Fine piece, Eduard. Very cool production and delivery, too. Thanks... [ Reply to This ]
Tucson in the Summer &mdash 06/27/08 - 04:21:44 PM
Not the best time to be there, but that was the only time I visited. Didn't have time to check out the local cafes, bummer. Sounds like a fun place.
Thank you for listening and your kind comments, Bob... perhaps sometime I will get to hear YOU perform live, that would be a treat!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Tucson in the summer... &mdash 06/27/08 - 06:42:31 PM
...the first year I was there, was HELL. The next year (and years after), it was HEAVEN.
All the students and winter residents packed and gone. Almost always a short rain before sunset, which meant the most magnificent colors I've ever seen against the clouds. Then the nights. Dry and cool.
Now...the daytime? Build a pagoda and hang out underneath...or the swamp cooler indoors. Always wear a hat.
When I next come out to LA to see my friends, I'll try to set up some gigs in the area. That would be a cool way to meet... [ Reply to This ]
This is &mdash 06/28/08 - 05:05:05 PM
great! I enjoyed listening to your poetry and I loved the way you delivered this!
Nice to hear the dulcimer and a great voice you have too!
The growls were just perfect and I loved the attention to detail!
Excellent performance and I loved it! [ Reply to This ]
wow &mdash 06/28/08 - 06:12:09 PM
Why, that's wonderful to know, Bob, thank you! I had a lot of fun putting this together, and some friends prodded me to add some finishing touches, which helped a lot. I've always enjoyed weaving a good tale.
And I shall go imbibe some more of your wonderful music again!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
&mdash 07/02/08 - 12:27:46 PM
It doesn't get much cooler than this. The growl sound is booming in my subwoofer and caught me off guard at first. This is great stuff for the Coffee House. Love the tune up at the beginning - very authentic feel.
Thanks for posting!
nick [ Reply to This ]
subwoofers &mdash 07/02/08 - 01:25:36 PM
hehe, I'm glad that after finally tuning up, I could rattle your fillings (and wall-hangings) with the infamous dragon-growl. Thanks again for setting up a great venue, I had a blast digging things up from the past :-) I also sincerely appreciate you visiting all 50-plus coffee-house songs and commenting, and I really hope *you* had fun with all this too!
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
Impressive.... &mdash 07/03/08 - 08:24:01 PM
to say the least. I am trying to catch up with the coffee house postings as I haven't been around much lately. I am sorry i am so late to this but better late than never. This was very entertaining and to think you were only 18 when you wrote this makes me think I should have stopped by your page sooner. I'll be checking out more of your stuff for certain. [ Reply to This ]
thank you! &mdash 07/04/08 - 08:34:17 AM
Well thank you for stopping by on the grand Macjams CoffeeHouse tour... I too am very busy and feeling terrible that I can't get enough time to do the coffee-tasting that you are doing yet. But, I've met a new Macjammer now, and shall reciprocate today by listening and commenting on some of your music as well. It looks from your impressive fave-list that you've been really enjoying the amazing talent here, and I bet I'll enjoy your work too. Thank you for putting up with my "page 2 of the ABC of Dulcimer" method of playing Dulce :-)
ttfn,
Drakonis [ Reply to This ]
snarky &mdash 07/09/08 - 06:55:02 PM
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