My Time Machin &mdash 06/23/08 - 03:58:33 PM
this is great songwriting! very good mixing and vocal! for me its perfect [ Reply to This ]
thank you &mdash 06/23/08 - 04:37:15 PM
Nice one... &mdash 06/23/08 - 04:12:54 PM
just &mdash 06/23/08 - 04:40:41 PM
resting my voice a little before trying to re-record the end vocals. they're at the top part of my register (at least today, they are :). i'll try it again and repost later. thanks for the comment! [ Reply to This ]
( : &mdash 06/23/08 - 04:23:56 PM
Love the lyrics & melody..would love to hear this live!Did U play it live somewhere -read the description- ? TX Very much, my pleasure : ) & Welcome to the MJ COOFFEEHOUSE loads of great artists & coffee, tea, even Irish ! helena http://www.macjams.com/artist/MacJams_Coffee
http://www.macjams.com/forum/viewtopic.php?forum=1;showtopic=128775
[ Reply to This ]
.. &mdash 06/23/08 - 04:37:02 PM
I have to say it agin....The Lyrics are so awesome lissening again now 3time..Love the beginning its so great- The soft in both the Music & Your voice is wonderful ...dreamy feel to this - nearer the end it becomes like a different song with a different power, perhaps the ending could be less sudden.
.. yes MR George Carlin just passed away(Yesterday I believe) there's a forumpost here at mj about It, maybe You've seen it !Peace Love & Respect thx again http://www.macjams.com/forum/viewtopic.php?
forum=22;showtopic=130936 [ Reply to This ]
coffee? &mdash 06/23/08 - 04:46:18 PM
i like coffee!!! i'll definitely submit my song to that. does it need to be performed live? (i'll read the thread. :)
yeah, no more george carlin. i wanted to post the "7 words" but i think i'd get booted off the forum for using that language. major loss for comedy, for certain. [ Reply to This ]
Wow &mdash 06/23/08 - 04:40:38 PM
This is the best. Do you like Elliott Smith?
Wow, just Wow.
Put the vox up a bit. If anything.
Great,Great Stuff.
Wow,
Dave [ Reply to This ]
*blush* &mdash 06/23/08 - 04:57:50 PM
wow, thanks for the kind words, mr lava! it's a pleasure hearing all the different songs on this site and having other people hear my work.
to be honest, i don't think i've ever heard of elliott smith - i'm ashamed to admit. i have it playing on youtube in another browser window as i type... this is right up my alley! might have to get one of his cds. thanks again! [ Reply to This ]
V-Drums &mdash 06/23/08 - 04:54:03 PM
So are you playing the V-Drums? So now we're not only jealous due to the songwriting, but also the mulititude of musical hats you wear. Also, who is more qualified to sing it? You do a wonderful job. I, too, would like to hear the vocals pushed up a bit, but they are by no means in need of replacement. [ Reply to This ]
drumlin &mdash 06/23/08 - 05:05:52 PM
yep, playing the drums. i'll admit, on a lot of stuff i quantize it at least a bit (because i record the drums to midi first - less hd space when choosing takes :) and edit some of the faster, more complicated stuff. but on a simple song like this (and my other posts) i just choose a take and quantize to 70% (so i don't lose ALL the feel).
thanks for the props on vocals. i can't sing nicely to quiet stuff, unless it's falsetto like this. and i, unfortunately, can't live with the ending vox because i can clearly tell that i'm reading the words off my notepad... and the timing's rushed. :)
thanks again!
[ Reply to This ]
My Time Machine &mdash 06/23/08 - 05:30:01 PM
This is very much emotional ...I loved the sound of
the guitar ( u use heqvy gauge ?) ..your singing
just fabulous ..great arrangment my friend !! ...
very thoughtfull as well ...thnx alot for sharin it ! [ Reply to This ]
not so heavy gauge &mdash 06/23/08 - 08:31:43 PM
i think the strings are regular gauge, but pretty old. the body (not the top) is rosewood, so it has a unique character. plus i was experimenting with x-y stereo micing of this acoustic guitar, which yielded interesting results.
thanks for your kind words. i wanted to upload an upbeat tune next, but i came up with lyrics for this one first. that's the way the cookie crumbles, i guess. it's still a favourite of mine. cheers! [ Reply to This ]
Dreamy/melancholy &mdash 06/23/08 - 05:31:25 PM
was the overwhelming mood in the first part of the song.
And then..... Whoa Nellie!
Excellent song, well played, great mix. It all sounds very good. [ Reply to This ]
mood &mdash 06/23/08 - 08:35:15 PM
thanks, glad i was able to properly convey the mood. definitely melancholy, and the first 'dreamy' chorus goes well with the 'sleep' mentioned in the first verse, i guess. i did it half by design, half because i love excessive delay on gtr sometimes. :) thanks for your kind words. and thanks for checking it out. [ Reply to This ]
dude! &mdash 06/23/08 - 06:15:06 PM
where'd this one come from? amazing song. was sad it ended when it did, but i get it. Good to hear you singing finally as well ;) Great job, buddy.
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thanks, &mdash 06/23/08 - 08:44:49 PM
where'd this one come from? well, first my brain, then my fingers, then my computer, then your speakers. lol. i know, sarcasm is the lowest form of humour. but i'm that low. :)
when i wrote the music (months ago), i had this theme in mind. i guess it was just left over feelings from losing a grandma or two last year. and trying to imagine how much worse it would be for my mom and dad.
i don't like the end vocals at all, must redo them. i guess i can tolerate the falsetto first half. thanks for the post! [ Reply to This ]
acoustic &mdash 06/24/08 - 02:07:31 PM
back for another listen and to favorite this ;)
the acoustic sounds amazing. what'd you use for a mic? looking forward to the final version. [ Reply to This ]
mics &mdash 06/24/08 - 03:57:01 PM
i used a pair of small condensers in an x-y configuration. they were akg 451b's - which i normally use for drum overheads. they have A LOT of high end, which I wound up backing off in the mix. [ Reply to This ]
Melancholy &mdash 06/23/08 - 06:24:18 PM
You capture the feelings you face when a loved one is near the end very well.
Peace.
Bill [ Reply to This ]
thank you &mdash 06/23/08 - 10:08:34 PM
thanks, i tried to capture those feelings both musically and lyrically. hopefully i am successful in both. cheers! [ Reply to This ]
Time Machine &mdash 06/23/08 - 08:38:45 PM
Beautiful. I love the soft, acoustic start - great guitar playing and your vocals are perfect. Very sweet tune, heartfelt lyrics. Elliot Smith, or even Damien Rice. This really is a gorgeous tune. I love the emotion of the ending. Perfect. My only suggestion would be to bring the volume up on the vocals a little throughout the entire song. Your singing is great and the harmonies are beautiful. Thanks for sharing this! [ Reply to This ]
vocals too low &mdash 06/23/08 - 10:14:44 PM
that seems to be a recurring theme. this is one of my first 'putting it out there' vocal performances, so i was shy about having it too exposed. but i will bump it up a bit (perhaps eq it cut better through the mix, falsetto can be a weird beast to mix). hopefully the next version i post will be closer to the mark. thanks for the comments! [ Reply to This ]
Your Time Machine &mdash 06/23/08 - 10:17:34 PM
woah! This is fantastically fabulous! Love it! Inspiring! Lovely!
The constant, steady, patient build is great. Sounds like woven smoke made with liquid thread. Great tune all the way around. I agree with Lennon714 regarding the vocals; you should sing the end and more forward in the mix. Finish this up soon please cuz I doubt I'll enjoy another song as much as this until I hear a better version of this one!
Rock Onward! [ Reply to This ]
fixer upper &mdash 06/23/08 - 11:47:33 PM
thanks for the comment. i like how you described it... was it woven smoke? cool description. yeah, i will hopefully redo the end vox this week and tweak the overall vocal up a notch. stay tuned. [ Reply to This ]
Hey my friend &mdash 06/23/08 - 11:08:30 PM
I wish I could download this piece as it is so amazing too me.
I really love this the mixing is perfect as the song give me strength.
Take care
--
Kenta [ Reply to This ]
download &mdash 06/23/08 - 11:51:40 PM
i will have a version i am happy enough with to make available up soon, i hope. i am glad you are connecting with the song. thanks for the post! [ Reply to This ]
Totally PRO!! &mdash 06/24/08 - 05:02:34 AM
Man your work is really excellent on all levels. This is very pro, amazing songwriting and performance. Excellently produced... Thanks for sharing this masterpiece, you got a new fan there!!
Take Care
- Yeman A. Al-Rawi [ Reply to This ]
thank you &mdash 06/24/08 - 10:57:49 AM
this one was a lot of fun (up until i had to write lyrics and sing, that is. :) i was doing some stereo mic experimentation on the acoustic gtr which provided some interesting challenges along the way. i am glad you enjoyed it. i will post a 'vocal up' mix once i re-sing the outtro. cheers! [ Reply to This ]
Great song... &mdash 06/24/08 - 11:40:22 AM
the mix isn't far off - the vocals are a little bit quiet at the beginning - perhaps cutting a the lower frequencies on your voice might help here - but overall it's excellent. Look forward the the download version when you're happy with it!
Peter [ Reply to This ]
tha mix &mdash 06/24/08 - 04:02:35 PM
you are absolutely right, there seems to be an overabundance of woof in the vocals. i'll be remixing this puppy (the vocals, at least) so i'll have to find that magic notch or shelf (or cut) to clean it up and allow me to pump the vocal levels up a db. thanks for your keen observation! [ Reply to This ]
haha.. &mdash 06/25/08 - 01:45:06 AM
...there was something about that avatar that said this was gunna be good stuff and it was right. well sort of. it's great stuff, actually. another one watching for the d'load. good advice by Peter B. about cutting some lows from the early vox. and welcome to MJ! [ Reply to This ]
avatar &mdash 06/25/08 - 05:43:16 PM
one hates to judge a book by it's cover (or artist by his or her avatar) but sometimes it works out like that. that's why i checked out michael2's stuff... i was thinking 'what the heck is that? it's got cords in it?!? cool!' hehe.
thanks for the post. once i feel like resinging it, i'll put it up again - with download enable, of course. [ Reply to This ]
This is excellent .. &mdash 06/25/08 - 02:45:37 AM
.. firstly I don't think you need another vocalist at all .. great writing and production: very lush and rich sounding guitars .. excellent vibe, sweet use of multi-tracking on the vocals (timely use in arrangement too), lyrics and jump up for the 'kick it' bit was very cool.
I could hear a friend of mine here at MJs, kallocain (Nicklas) singing this too .. if you did want to consider re-voicing it... but like I said, I don't think it needs that.
Mix/performance tiny nits: I'd have the vocals up a fraction more in the verses for even more of that up close intimate feel (relative to the bed).. and those darn cheese-grater Fender acoustics are great warm sound but give loads of "wheech" fret noise .. perhaps easing off on some compression (if used?) might help reduce that or EQing ..oh and there was something a little unsure sounding in a transition at 01:22...
but needless to say small pointers - I really enjoyed this. Downloaded and new fan.
/Alan [ Reply to This ]
Ah .. &mdash 06/25/08 - 02:47:16 AM
.. no download. Bummer .. (I read now you knew you wanted to tweak it- fair enough) [ Reply to This ]
nicklas &mdash 06/25/08 - 05:51:04 PM
checked out kallocain's stuff. wow, really great work. right up my alley too. thanks for the heads-up.
i hear you about the string noise. i like more than most, but this might be getting out of control. i will try my old trick (which i use for ac gtr and bass tracks alike)... a de-esser! (not just for vocals any more. :) it's a great way to target and limit a certain frequency.
also, the uncertainty at 1:22... i was writing this song on the fly (as i was recording). this is why it is dangerous to do this. the progression veers off for a bit, but i didn't do a very good job reinforcing the change with all the other instruments. i will see if there is anything i can do to clear up any note confusion in that part. thanks for the indepth notes! [ Reply to This ]
~ &mdash 06/25/08 - 03:16:55 PM
sorry &mdash 06/25/08 - 05:53:44 PM
sorry about that. it happens to the best of us. glad i was able to convey the mood that well, at least. cheers! [ Reply to This ]
right then &mdash 06/25/08 - 05:25:51 PM
great tune .. well written and crafted ... your vocals are perfect but get a bit lost in the mix .. easily fixed and not a distraction ... just simply a great tune! [ Reply to This ]
well, thank you &mdash 06/25/08 - 05:57:41 PM
thank you davis... or do you prefer to go by mr america? :) glad you enjoyed it. yeah, i'm still a little shy about my singing, as evidenced by how low the fader is on that channel. hehe. i should have a new version up before too long. thanks again! [ Reply to This ]
Wow &mdash 06/25/08 - 06:43:55 PM
I love the sound of this song! It sooths and saddens simultaneously. I like the voice also. [ Reply to This ]
thank you &mdash 06/25/08 - 09:44:31 PM
...as long as it doesn't anger and excite simultaneously. :) thanks for checking it out! [ Reply to This ]
Lovely sound - and what a build! &mdash 06/26/08 - 03:00:33 AM
You have a really interesting voice and the sound of the acoustic is really good - shades of "Dream Academy"! Your voice is really good - I wouldn't let anyone else mess with this vocally. A little more vocal volume in the louder parts (but please do that by dropping back the other instruments rather than turning the voice up). Great harmonies! Really solid playing. I would be extremely proud to have produced anything this good. Doing your own live drums is just the icing on the cake!
More please!
Neil [ Reply to This ]
10q from 12p &mdash 06/27/08 - 10:44:20 AM
thanks, neil. i suppose we all suffer from the dislike of our voice. (although, i wonder if bono or dave grohl dislike their voices? i would kill to be able to sing like them.) anyway, thank you. the reason they probably sound so 'interesting' is that it is falsetto for the first half. i always thought falsetto couldn't cut it in the mainstream, then people here started turning me on to sigur ros.
i really appreciate all the encouragement people have been giving. maybe i'll continue singing. :) i re-sang the end a couple times yesterday, so i'll find the best take(s), make some mix adjustments, and have a new version up soon. cheers! [ Reply to This ]
Fine song &mdash 06/26/08 - 07:21:22 AM
You have a very sweet and fragile voice (and yes that is meant to be a compliment) which smooths itself in beautifully with the swelling instrumentation. If it was me I'd nudge the vocals up a tiny bit in the mix because they're so worth hearing, but it's really a matter of individual taste. As a whole your songwriting and production values are excellent.
I don't hear anything wrong with the existing vocals but I know what it's like when you feel you could do them better ... and how the right register is there on some days and not on others, so you have to find the right moment to re-record. But you definitely don't need anyone else to do it for you ... you've got it all there. Go for it! [ Reply to This ]
register &mdash 06/27/08 - 10:48:51 AM
you hit the nail on the head, rebsie! at least for casual singers like myself, who live in apartments and can't practise too much, my register changes from day to day. i thought it was just me. :)
thanks for the comments, and notes about vocal levels. i should have a better version up soon. [ Reply to This ]
This &mdash 06/27/08 - 08:05:25 AM
cheers &mdash 06/27/08 - 10:59:38 AM
thank you for checking it out, mr strat. i'd welcome a wow from you anytime. [ Reply to This ]
Excellent &mdash 06/27/08 - 10:48:07 AM
To tell you the truth I didn't listen for imperfections because I felt the music and vocals were taking me on a journey which is always great in my book. As far as vocals our little imperfections are what makes the song ours and real. I don't think you need another vocalist and if this is an honest representation of you then I wouldn't change a thing.
Moses [ Reply to This ]
vocals &mdash 06/27/08 - 11:06:19 AM
thanks, hhm! if imperfections in a vocal performance bring a song character, then my songs have a lot of character. :) ok, enough self deprecating humour. thanks for checking this out. more journey to come! [ Reply to This ]
My time machine &mdash 06/27/08 - 05:09:26 PM
Really wonderful song! Moving lyrics - what better way to heal than to write about how you are feeling. I love the accompaniment as well and you have a beautiful voice. Just fantastic [ Reply to This ]
thanks &mdash 06/28/08 - 11:15:55 AM
thank you. i hate to admit it, but feeling down or sad is great for writing music. plus, as you say, it helps you heal. then, at the end, you might get a really nice song out of it! us musicians are luck that way. thanks for listening. [ Reply to This ]
I was drawn in by the first few bars &mdash 06/29/08 - 09:59:06 AM
and then the tune just got deeper and richer - the emotion stronger and stronger. Wonderful accomplishment - excellent post. [ Reply to This ]
drawn in &mdash 07/01/08 - 11:13:05 AM
/// &mdash 06/29/08 - 12:03:09 PM
that acoustic intro is beautiful and how it builds from that is just awesome. not sure what you can do to make this better, but I'm all for it if you can. can't wait to download [ Reply to This ]
well, thank you! &mdash 07/01/08 - 11:16:15 AM
thanks for checking it out. i was just hoping to get the ending vocals in time a bit more. i *think* i accomplished that with the new version i posted. you can be the judge. thanks again! [ Reply to This ]
Beautiful Tune &mdash 06/30/08 - 06:41:08 PM
And a fine recording. Open tuning on the guitar? Vocals sound perfect to me. Amazing work. [ Reply to This ]
thanks &mdash 07/01/08 - 11:19:38 AM
thanks. i had fun recording it. i usually play guitar in either Eb standard, or (as in this case) drop C#. i cleaned the vocals up, brought them out a bit more, and tightened up the end... so hopefully the vocals are more perfect. thanks for the kind words! [ Reply to This ]
another &mdash 07/26/08 - 12:52:13 PM
great track. beautiful guitar parts and that melody is perfect. almost reminds me of Sunny Day Real Estate in a way (but way catchier). Like how the vox are a little buried, piano is a great element to add in here too. your production choices are perfect. [ Reply to This ]
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