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Description
Acoustic with spoken words.
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Lyrics
I woke up this morning nausous. I wanted to just vanish because of this feeling. But here's some good news, I am actually feeling something right now.
Yet I don't like this. For once in my life I know what i want, but then again, its not what you want. Why does it have to be like this. Why cant I just be more like you. You said you will never forget me, and I hope I never forget you. You know I love you, I love you so much. But my love can not compare to yours, my strength can not come close to yours. I'm sorry that it had to end like this. YOu know me, and I know you. YOu said you knew from the day we met. And I was so blind, I was so blind from it all and never saw your depth. On the shore I watched as you sank, and I believed you were only pretending.
Why cant i drowned too. WHy cant I be with you. I jumped in, but only to be washed back ashore by my own two hands. Will I ever swim like you, will i ever sink like you. The air exhaled from your mouth rose to the surface and I heard the message. I wanted the best for you. I never wanted to see you hurt.
Its kinda funny how things turn out cause the person who hurt you the most turned out to be me. I turned into your nightmare, I am the cause of your pain. I am the stabing pain in your side. If only I had the chance to switch feelings, I would endure your suffering for you. So you would be free. I would drown for you,
hold my breath for as long as I could and drift away. But instead I'm burning from the sun on the shore. Burning from regret, sorrow, nostalgia, and stupidity.
Finally I forged together a solid attire. And I jumped into the blue ocean. Sinking below the surface I saw your face, and you smiled. I stayed on the ocean floor walking around with you. Knowing my costume would not stay intact forever, I floated to the surface, and I drifted away
*CLaps*
This time I promised I'd stay on solid ground until I was washed into the waves. Staying on that shore I became impatient I wanted someone to see me, anyone. So after this I saw your reflection in the waves smiling at me and I dove in. Spending time with you was never so good. Spending time with you was what I thought I wanted. But yet again the tide brought me back away from you.
So now, Im here to stay. I'm here to burn and melt and rot and fade away , away from you. please know that I do love you. Please know that I wish you the best. I do miss you, I do feel for you. Please believe me when I say this, that you deserve so much better. And if there's one thing that came of all this, know that you are beautiful through and through. And I will always remember you
Forever.
Yet I don't like this. For once in my life I know what i want, but then again, its not what you want. Why does it have to be like this. Why cant I just be more like you. You said you will never forget me, and I hope I never forget you. You know I love you, I love you so much. But my love can not compare to yours, my strength can not come close to yours. I'm sorry that it had to end like this. YOu know me, and I know you. YOu said you knew from the day we met. And I was so blind, I was so blind from it all and never saw your depth. On the shore I watched as you sank, and I believed you were only pretending.
Why cant i drowned too. WHy cant I be with you. I jumped in, but only to be washed back ashore by my own two hands. Will I ever swim like you, will i ever sink like you. The air exhaled from your mouth rose to the surface and I heard the message. I wanted the best for you. I never wanted to see you hurt.
Its kinda funny how things turn out cause the person who hurt you the most turned out to be me. I turned into your nightmare, I am the cause of your pain. I am the stabing pain in your side. If only I had the chance to switch feelings, I would endure your suffering for you. So you would be free. I would drown for you,
hold my breath for as long as I could and drift away. But instead I'm burning from the sun on the shore. Burning from regret, sorrow, nostalgia, and stupidity.
Finally I forged together a solid attire. And I jumped into the blue ocean. Sinking below the surface I saw your face, and you smiled. I stayed on the ocean floor walking around with you. Knowing my costume would not stay intact forever, I floated to the surface, and I drifted away
*CLaps*
This time I promised I'd stay on solid ground until I was washed into the waves. Staying on that shore I became impatient I wanted someone to see me, anyone. So after this I saw your reflection in the waves smiling at me and I dove in. Spending time with you was never so good. Spending time with you was what I thought I wanted. But yet again the tide brought me back away from you.
So now, Im here to stay. I'm here to burn and melt and rot and fade away , away from you. please know that I do love you. Please know that I wish you the best. I do miss you, I do feel for you. Please believe me when I say this, that you deserve so much better. And if there's one thing that came of all this, know that you are beautiful through and through. And I will always remember you
Forever.
Einarus
First off, there were a number of things in this which I liked pretty well:
The opening guitar line - maybe not the most original progression in the world, but it works well (which explains its common usage) - is very nice and the guitar sounds pretty good (albeit a little thin, if you know what I mean). It reminded me a bit of Chad Fischer's work on the movie Garden State.
I don't really know that much about lyrics and such but as far as I know they were pretty good. I also like one of the effects on your voice - the one you use on the second paragraph. It sounds kinda like an answering machine and gives the lyrics a more real feeling, somehow. I'm guessing you chose a variety of different effects to avoid being repetitive, which was a good decision - I thought, however, you changed effects a tad too often.
The buildup of the song is nice, too - although the quality and mixing of the sounds you used could be better. For starters, a little reverb can make the fake-sounding drum kit a bit more real as well as creating some depth to the guitar in places - which I thought was especially needed in the middle chapter. And speaking of that middle chapter, I thought it could really use a little more power, depth and warmth, which could be achieved with a little bass and perhaps a touch of reverb.
The saxophone-like instrument really didn't sit well with me. Maybe it's because I generally dislike synth brass instruments, I don't know. I just didn't like it.
So did the claps. I just thought they didn't belong in this piece. And don't get me started on the double kicker close to the end. I'm guessing you were going for a little climax, but there are other and better ways of creating that, perhaps with another guitar line mirroring the main and a bass line of some sort.
Anyway - the reason I nitpick this so much is that I feel this has some potential. This could become a pretty nice piece with a little more work.
-Einar S.