Ok, the picture is disgusting...but the song is great. My main complaint is that I kept waiting for it to kick in or have some cool break...but it just kept strolling along. But I really dig it.

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Amongst other things I am a Photographer. The bit I enjoy most is still life, the disgusting picture is one of my still life studies!! heheheh

i'm glad you find it disgusting, but did you see what it really is?

thanks for the comments about the song!!! it needs a LOT of work, it's only a first recording, been trying to find a band really, so i don't have to play everything myself.

I have to say, i was really nervous about posting the song, i still am!!!

Ceri x


---
keep your eye on the doughnut, not the hole.

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Cool, might need a bit of work on the sound quality itself,
but good enough that I'm downloading it. :-)

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Hi Ceri

I like the song very much. Looks like you put a lot of
thought into the lyrics-do you have more than what's
printed? Great production overall for a
demo. I like your vocals a lot, but I was hoping for a
build and hear you open up a little bit more. When you go
back into the "studio", I would definitely work on the
guitar solo-it's a little out of tune, but I like the riff a lot. I
dug the single bend notes that you play throughout. The
second thing I would address is the drum track. It needs
a little bit more variety to minimize the drum machine
sound. Thanks for sharing your song-I'm looking forward
to the next version.

keep jammin



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heheheh

you know i could never figure out if it was the guitar or the bass that was a
bit out, i did think it was the bass first because i had just re-strung it and i
don't think it had time to settle, but you could be right you know, because all
the tremolo work may have put the guitar out!

as for the picture it was an idea for a cd cover for a band, i put 4 different still
life studies together, this one they rejected, if you look carefully you see a
gun, dead roses and the wedding ring .. in addition to the heart and bloody
bits. A kind of bitter and dead love.

I have LOADS of lyrics, actually, I have a load of songs I just need time to get
them down... yeah the drums are AWFUL!! I actually recorded this when i was
away on a months holiday, so i couldn't take my drum kit. The equipment i
did take was enough!!

The first thing i will do when I re-record it is play LIVE drums!!

thanks for your comments!! very constructive and encouraging!!

: )

---
keep your eye on the doughnut, not the hole.

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wow-you can really belt a smooth tune. everything seems
put together very well, just needs some EMOTION-
especially crucial for the content, i think. just kinda turn
everything up a notch.

yeah, that pic is a little gross, hehehh. i didn't notice the
gun until you mentioned it. i think it would be a little
more charged without the heart.. just seeing the blood,
bits & the ring & wondering wtf happened

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Haunting vocals, though the song and production gets a
little monotonous. This song has a dark ambience and
depressing mood to it, and it
has nothing to do with the picture. Average vote of 7.5
from me.

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You need a bridge.

Nice atmosphere and guitar sound, but the song
desperately needs a change up.

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i did say it was a demo, just the basics, i have been searching for some kind
of middle 8 for a while, but sadly, my work is so hectic i rarely get chance to
play.

this is the first of over 100 songs i have to record!!!

maybe i should leave it for 17 years, that's when i'll be retiring!

heheheheh

---
keep your eye on the doughnut, not the hole.

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You've got a very promising song, and now you've got
some really helpful feedback. That's a great combination
for when you go to record it again.

It should be a winner.

By the way, I too love those slow, single guitar notes.

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I like the darkness of this song. I think it's gonna be great
if you make one more stage (adding more strengh
maybe?) to this song.
I like how you express your emotion.

Rina(mars)

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